


MonWinn In The Time Of Karamel

by Puddin_in_my_time



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A Lovely Night, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Bonnie and Clyde musical, Galavant - Freeform, Hamilton References, How Bout a Dance, I Am Moana: Song of the Ancestors, Jack Johnson - Freeform, Kind of a musical but not really, La La Land, Love Triangles, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Moana (2016) References, More La La Land, More like a story with music in it, Newsies References, Nightmare Before Christmas References, References to other DC characters along the way, So basically a musical, Takes place after Christmas/New Year's, Unrequited Love, banana pancakes, city of stars, satisfied
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 01:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 75,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9360248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puddin_in_my_time/pseuds/Puddin_in_my_time
Summary: With the holiday season now at a close, Winn is forced to grapple with his feelings for Mon-El as the latter becomes closer and closer to dating Kara.





	1. Satisfied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Supergirl, any of its associated characters, or Hamilton.

Snow faintly fell upon National City, filling the night sky with post-holiday season joy, and covering the roofs of every apartment, house, and office building. Winn stood in the freezing cold, about two blocks away from CatCo, at the exact spot that Kara said she’d meet him. This holiday season had been eventful for him. It was the first time that Mon-El, the hot alien frat boy who recently landed on Earth, and Winn had actually spent any quality time together outside of training. Well, if you don’t count getting dangerously wasted on Halloween as “quality time”. It was also Mon’s first Christmas on Earth, and Winn couldn’t help but smirk at all the memories he’d accumulated this past December. He remembered when he and Mon had watched _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ together, and how freaked out Mon had been…

…

“Hello! My name is Mon-El of Daxam. Who are you?” Mon-El shouted at the TV screen. Winn laughed.  
“Mon, they can’t hear you,” He tried to tell his Daxamite friend.  
“The people in your box are so rude,” Mon said angrily. “ I mean they’re just going about their daily lives like we’re not even here.”  
“Dude, they’re not real.”  
“They’re not?”  
“Of course not. They’re like photographs, or paintings, only they move. They’re a recorded message of people acting out a story, kinda like a play. Doesn’t Kara let you watch TV?”  
“She said it had a ‘bad influence’ on me. I guess in its absence I forgot all about it.”  
“She should really stop trying to act like your mom.”  
“Agreed.”  
A few minutes passed until Mon asked another question.  
“So just to be clear, the redheaded rag doll and the skeleton are just acting, right?”  
“Yes…well in this case these people aren’t real…they’re like...it’s too complicated to explain now! Just watch the movie!”  
“Yes, sir,” Mon muttered under his breath. Winn could tell that he was still unsettled by the idea of moving pictures.  
“This is supposed to be about your Christmas?” Mon-El asked Winn a few minutes later. He seemed genuinely concerned for the people who invented this absurd story.  
“Well it can work as both a Christmas and a Halloween movie. Isn’t it cool?” Winn had said enthusiastically.  
“It seems impractical.” Mon said. “I mean, why go through all the trouble of having both Halloween and Christmas in one story when you could just do two separate stories that could be experienced on their respective earthly holidays?”  
“Uh…Because it’s awesome!” Winn said, turning to face the screen as Jack Skellington broke out into his lament.  
“You humans really do overcomplicate things,” Mon stated.  
“So you don’t like Earth?” Winn wondered.  
“I didn’t say that,” Mon answered, “I mean I like you. And Kara. And these Potstickers are...how do humans say it again? Giving me life?”  
“Well if you eat any more they’ll give you a heart attack,” Winn said sassily between sips of his soft drink.  
Mon stared at the treat in his hands as if it had betrayed him. He carefully and slowly put it back on the plate, treating it like it was stuffed with uranium.  
“How come you never stop Kara from eating so much?”  
“Because Kara needs all that food to keep from passing out. You don’t have as many powers, and therefore probably don’t.”  
“Oh Kara this, Kara that,” Mon mumbled, frustrated with how Winn constantly compared him to her.  
“You brought her up!” Winn reminded.  
“You know if Kara’s so perfect maybe she should be the one watching your terrifying ‘movies’,” Mon said, lingering on that last word as if he still wanted to show Winn that he really had been learning from him.  
“Now you’re just over exaggerating. I mean it’s not that bad…”  
Mon-El jumped out of his seat and onto the couch, his hands covering his eyes. He turned his head to Winn.  
“Did you see that? He just took off his head!”  
Winn faced the screen, and sure enough, Jack Skellington had removed his head from his body.  
“Great,” Winn said sarcastically. “That- that’s just great.”  
Once Mon had calmed down a bit, Winn explained to him the whole concept of animation, and how none of it was real. After a few more Potstickers, Mon had agreed to continue watching. Winn had just finished clicking “Play” on the remote when he felt a sturdy hand latch onto his own. Sure enough, it was Mon’s. He held on tight with his superhuman grip, making Winn wince just a little bit. He had certainly improved his strength control since training with Winn, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t accidentally hurt anyone. Foolishly, Winn decided to let him hang on. He would certainly loosen up as he got more relaxed. There was that and also the fact that Winn mildly enjoyed the feeling of his strong hand, and was also mildly flattered by the fact that Mon had chosen Winn to latch onto. Winn stared at his big, blue eyes, like they were works of art. They were concentrated and concerned, and perfectly complemented his furrowed brows. His face was handsome as hell, and his perfect body was highlighted under his tight black t-shirt. Mon took notice after a while.  
“What?” he asked Winn, who snapped out of his trance as soon as Mon called him out.  
“Nothing. Nothing at all,” he said, his head jerking back to face the screen. They were both silent as mice until the end credits. As soon as the screen blackened, Mon-El asked the question that must've been eating him up throughout the entire movie.  
“ So how does sex with Jack Skellington work?” He asked, forcing Winn to spit out his drink.  
“Excuse me?!”  
“Well I mean he doesn’t have a penis; he’s all bones.”  
“I don’t think you have to worry about that unless there’s something about you that you’re not telling me.”  
“I’m just saying that if I were Sally that would be a huge con in the relationship.”  
“That’s it; I’m done,” Winn said as he got up from the couch.  
“I didn’t mean to…”  
“Well you did. You know the way out. Goodnight.”

…

“I still can’t believe that you showed Mon-El that freaky-ass movie,” Kara said once she’d joined Winn. They were walking towards their favourite restaurant, where Alex, Maggie, James and, of course, Mon-El were waiting for them.  
“It’s a classic!” Winn exclaimed defensively.  
“Yeah, for people who shop at Hot Topic!”  
“Well I’ll have you know that Mon liked it,” Winn said smugly.  
“Oh did he now?” Kara asked with a laugh. “Because he told me that watching that movie was like watching his planet die all over again.”  
“Oh,” Winn said before biting his lips.  
There were a few seconds of silence before Kara asked, “So what is it with you and Mon-El?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“What I mean is that you haven’t shut up about him since we started walking. Or how I barely saw any of you during the holidays. You were always with Mon.”  
“You’re jealous?”  
“I’m just wondering why you spend so much time on him,” Kara said to her best friend.  
“I don’t have some ulterior motive or anything. I just...enjoy his company, that’s all. I mean, don’t you? He’s funny, and charming, and everything’s brand-new to him. He’s so innocent!”  
“Okay, you talk to me about him being innocent when you catch him in the supply closet with your co-worker,” Kara said, still scarred by that horrific memory that had been seared into her brain.  
“What I mean to say is that he’s like... he’s like a puppy! Yeah, that’s it! A tall, ripped, gorgeous, frat boy puppy who any woman would be lucky to bang.”  
“Mmmm...you know that you totally don’t sound like a zoophile, just sayin’.”  
“Har, har har.”

…

The gang was two hours into their night out when a look of realization came upon Kara’s stuffed face. She kicked her legs in excitement as she finished swallowing her burger.  
“Oh my god! Guys, you’re never going to believe this! Lena Luthor is having a gala to raise money for the Children's Hospital, and she invited me and- get this- as many friends as I want to join me! Isn’t that amazing?”  
“You know that’s an incredible coincidence. Are you sure she doesn’t have some secret reason for all of us to be there?” Maggie asked.  
“What- no!” Kara exclaimed. “Just because she’s the adopted sister of the most notorious criminal in the world doesn’t mean that she always has to be hiding something.”  
“I don’t know about this,” James said, “I mean this is starting to sound like Fanfiction logic.”  
Alex groaned.  
“Oh please, don’t even get me started on Fanfic logic.”  
Winn waited patiently for Mon-El to ask what Fanfic was, but nothing came. He was too busy staring off into the distance, his big blue eyes looking more lost than usual.  
“Mon, you okay?” Kara asked, beating Winn to it. Mon soon snapped out of it and turned to face the group.  
“Yeah, I’m just…” he began, before drifting off into his trance again.  
“Mon-El, Mon-El, Earth to Mon-El...MON-EL!” Kara yelled in frustration, causing Mon to jolt in shock.  
“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” Alex asked.  
“I probably just trained too much today, that’s all. Right, Winn?” he asked  
“What? Oh, yeah. Definitely,” Winn responded with minimal emotion, so that he could get Kara off his back. Kara stared him down, examining him like a coroner and taking note of this new development. Winn glanced across the table to see Mon. His posture had sunk, and the only thing he was making eye contact with was his lap. _He must be missing his home,_ Winn thought, keeping at bay the possibility that he was upset because Winn hadn’t actually conversed with him all night. Mon turned his head to the bar, spotting a pretty woman in a tight skirt who happened to be drinking by herself. He smiled to himself as a flame grew in his eyes.  
“Winn, cover for me?” Mon asked as he got up from the booth.  
“Yup,” Winn responded.  
“Thanks.” He waved goodbye to his friends and headed towards the bar.  
“You know, one of these days he’s going to have to pay for himself,” James said.  
“He will once he gets a job,” Kara defended.  
“I’m just saying it’s not fair that Winn’s always paying for him,” James said protectively.  
“Guys, I really don’t mind,” Winn said. He looked at Alex and Maggie to see why they hadn’t chimed in for a while. He saw them doing what couples do: gazing into each other’s eyes, telling each other about their days, and just being so goddamn cute. Winn didn’t get jealous very often, but for some reason he felt his stomach churn, as if he would throw up any second .  
“ I gotta go,” he said while getting up from the table.  
“I’ll walk you home,” Kara said, exiting from the far end of the booth, “Don’t forget guys, next Friday is Lena’s gala. I want everyone to be there.”  
“Don’t worry, we will,” Alex reassured.

…

The walk home had been awkward as hell. The first 5 minutes were pure silence, followed by around ten minutes of small talk, and then concluding with a brief argument.  
“Why do you keep Sherlock Holmes-ing me about Mon-El?” Winn asked passive-aggressively.  
“Well I wouldn’t have to Sherlock Holmes you if you would just talk to me.”  
“There’s nothing to talk about!!!” Winn exploded, like an atom bomb. There was silence for a solid minute before Kara said something.  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you,” She said.  
“It’s okay,” Winn said, feeling guilty at how he pushed away someone who was just trying to help.  
“Can I count on you to be there next friday?”  
“Definitely,” He said, and with that the two friends hugged.  
“Good night, Winn.”  
“Good night, Kara.”  
Winn walked into the lobby of his apartment, and headed up the stairs. He usually took the elevator, but he decided that he needed some time to decompress before going to bed. As he walked up, he was hit with some more pleasant memories from the holidays. He remembered how Kara forgot to explain what snow was to Mon, leading him to believe that Earth was being invaded by alien insects. He remembered how he taught Mon how to catch snowflakes on his tongue, and how proud Mon had been once he finally got the hang of it. He remembered showing Mon some of his favourite Earth music, and how he told him that _How ‘Bout a Dance_ always got him in the mood to waltz with someone. As he was reminiscing, a song popped into his head. It was "Satisfied", from _Hamilton_ (aka the musical Winn went crazy trying to get tickets for). He started singing to himself.  
_“I have never been the same_  
_Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame-”_  
Winn stopped. Mon-El was intelligent. A bit lost, but still intelligent. But when Winn thought of intelligent eyes he tended to think of them as cold. That wasn’t Mon at all. And hunger-pang frame? Winn had done enough full-body examinations to know that Mon was far from that. He paused for a moment, and decided that no one would have minded if he tweaked the words just a bit. You know, for personal relevance.  
_“I will never be the same,” he restarted,_  
_“Puppy dog eyes in a hella-gorgeous frame_  
_And when you said “hi” I forgot my dang name_  
_Set my heart aflame, ev’ry part aflame, this is not a game.”_  
He smiled at all of his special moments with Mon. But then other memories surfaced. Like how Kara and Mon looked at each other from across the dinner table on Christmas Eve. And across the living room on Christmas Morning. And literally every time they were in the same goddamn room together. He remembered standing behind Kara during all these times, ~~thinking~~ ~~hoping~~ pretending that Mon was looking at him. He skipped a few lines of the song, and then continued with his own version.  
_“I know Kara like I know my own mind_  
_You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind_  
_If I tell her that I love him she’d be silently resigned_  
_He’d be mine._  
_She would say ‘I’m fine’_  
_She’d be lying”_  
He stopped; this was the first time he had ever admitted out loud that he loved Mon. He was once told that expressing how he felt out loud would lift some weight off his shoulders. Well, that person was dumb as fuck because all he felt was a knife lodge into his chest. He looked in front of him. He was standing inches away from his apartment door. He unlocked it, entered, and plopped himself on his unmade bed, not even bothering to put his pyjamas on.  
_“But when I fantasize at night_  
_It’s Mon-El’s eyes_  
_As I romanticize what might_  
_Have been if I hadn’t sized him_  
_Up so quickly_  
_At least my dear Kara will be his wife_  
_At least I keep his eyes in my life”_  
He opened his eyes to discover that he had subconsciously pulled the sheets over his entire body. All he saw was darkness, an empty void that only one person could fill. He thought for a moment, and realized something: he was standing in the exact same spot that he was a year ago. The only difference was that he had a new job. Once again he was head over heels for a gorgeous alien who was friendzoning him, and once again he was spending every night alone, saving himself for someone that longed to be with someone else.  
_“And I know_  
_She’ll be happy_  
_As his bride_  
_And I know_  
_He will never be satisfied_  
_I will never be satisfied.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You like? Let me know with a comment or a kudos (or both if you're feeling generous). If you liked it, you can subscribe to this fic or follow me on Tumblr (puddin-in-my-time) for updates. Here's the song from this chapter: Satisfied, Hamilton; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKXyqiXe7To&spfreload=10  
> You don't have to listen to the songs, but I would recommend it to get most out of the story. Even if the sections I use are usually a lot smaller than the whole song, I find that the tunes and the emotions of the songs really reflect what the characters are feeling.


	2. How Bout A Dance?

It was the night of Lena Luthor’s gala, and almost everyone was at Kara’s place, taking turns on who would change when. Winn was in Kara’s room, while Mon-El was in his room. Kara had told everyone to dress to impress, and sure enough, everyone had brought their A-game. Winn wore a simple but classy tuxedo, with a dark blue blazer, snazzy shoes, and a black tie. He looked out the window of his room and saw the snow falling once again. It was only 6:30, but it was already pitch black outside, with only street lamps to light the way of weary wanderers. He thanked god he didn’t have to walk to the event; Lena had ordered a limousine for Kara and her friends. James said he would meet them there, probably not wanting to feel like a snob by traveling to an event filled with rich people in the certified rich person car. He was deep in his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door.

“Come in,” He answered. Kara opened the door and entered, a smile on her made-up face. She wore a long, dark red dress that exposed most of her muscular back. 

“Kara…” Winn began, “You look amazing.”

“Thanks,” Kara said with a giggle. She was obviously looking forward to going to the party.  _Probably so she can dance with Mon_ , thought Winn.  
“Alex and Maggie wanted me to invite you to our drinking game,” She told Winn.

“Drinking game?” Winn asked.

“Yeah, we’re playing ‘Never Have I Ever’. Come on!”

 Winn exited the room, and saw Alex and Maggie. Maggie wore a short but sweet black dress, and Alex wore a grey pantsuit. Winn joined them in the kitchen, where 5 shot glasses filled with scotch waited for them. Kara started with the bottle in front of her.

“Okay…Never Have I Ever…made out someone in a closet while at work,” She said while looking at Winn, knowing full well what his answer would be. He lifted his shot glass and drank, gagging as the scotch burned his throat.

“Oh my god,” Maggie said in shock.

“We’ve all got a past. Who’s next?” Winn said in a hoarse voice.

“You are not getting out of this,” Maggie whispered playfully to Winn. Kara poured Winn a drink and then passed the bottle to the next person, Alex. 

“Okay, Never Have I Ever…thought Mon-El was hot.” 

Winn glared at Kara, who flashed him a look that said “Gotcha bitch” while downing her shot. Winn knew her plan now: use this game to either a) directly figure out why Winn was upset or b) wait a while until Winn was drunk enough to tell her, since she knew that Winn would be watching what he drinks at the party. She probably even told Alex to ask a question about Mon so she could confirm her suspicions. Well, he wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of seeing her master plan work. He crossed his arms while staring directly at Kara, mouthing “No.”

“Okay, I’m not lying,” Maggie said as she downed her shot.

“Maggie!” Alex exclaimed.

“What?” She asked. “Just because I’m not attracted to him doesn’t mean I don’t see the appeal.” 

“Winn?” Kara asked with a knowing smirk. “You’re not drinking?”

“Hell no,” Winn said firmly.

“ Oh, come on!” Maggie said. “You’re his trainer!”

“And?” Winn asked, allowing a small, sheepish smile to creep onto his face.

“You’re telling me that of all the times you’ve seen him lift weights, or pour water over his glistening body, or of all the times you’ve watched his chest inflate with his breath, that you’ve never thought- not even once! – that he was hotter than freshly baked cookies?”

“Who’s hotter than freshly baked cookies?” a deep voice curiously chimed in. 

Everyone turned their heads towards the owner of this smooth-as-molasses voice. It was Mon, wearing an elegant raven tuxedo and what Winn dubbed “The Dynamic Duo”: glasses and a bow tie. His coffee-coloured hair was coiffed perfectly, and his muscles bulged under his tight suit. Winn realized that his face had succumbed to an expression of longing and wonder. He tried to snap out of it, but by then it was too late: Kara had found out everything that she had wanted to know.

“Fine,” he said to her, “You win.” And with that he downed his shot.

…

The gala was, to put it simply, the most gorgeous fucking event on the planet. The dark purple of the ceiling faded into the neon lavender of the walls, and the lights were designed to look like stars in the night sky.  A live band was on the stage, taking requests from guests so they could tailor the event to themselves. The room gave the feeling of a beautiful lullaby that was sung before you go to sleep, off to dream a dream where anything or anyone you want is yours. Honestly, the place looked like it had walked out of a Disney movie. 

“Damn,” James said upon meeting up with his friends. There was no refutation from anyone. Winn looked around, and noticed that Mon was already kicking it off with a few pretty socialites.  _Typical_ , Winn thought. Kara noticed his expression and took his hand. 

“Come on,” She said as she led him to the bar. The bartender greeted them with a smile.

“What will it be tonight?” She asked them.

“One Cosmopolitan for me, and…” She said turning to Winn, making it clear that she was there for her best friend.

“Nothing,” He said.

“Right, make that two Cosmopolitans.”

“You got it,”  The bartender said as she turned to make the drinks. Once they were made she handed them over to Kara and Winn, each sipping them until the sweetness of the drink eased them into talking.

“Look, Kara,” Winn began, “I’m really not in the mood to talk about Mon right now.” 

“I know,” Kara said sympathetically, “Believe it or not, I’m in your shoes right now.”

“How are you- oh right, how could I forget,” Winn said in a voice as bitter as the cranberry juice in his cocktail.

“What do you mean?” Kara asked.

“I know about you and Mon. You know, how you have a thing for him and how he has a thing for you…I said I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Why do you think I’m interested in Mon-El?”

“Because of the way you two are always gazing into each other’s eyes, or how he’s always flirting with you, or how you’re going to get together because our life’s like a CW show…”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Kara said, almost smiling, “Name one time when Mon-El and I were ‘gazing into each other’s eyes.’”

“Christmas Eve.” Winn said instantly.

“Really?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And do you remember the layout of the room?”

“Layout- what are you talking about?”

“Where were you in relation to me when Mon was supposedly starring at me?”

Winn thought hard, not sure what she was doing.

“Behind you.”

“Is it possible that Mon was looking slightly above me?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“So, if he was looking slightly above me he would have seen…”

“Me,” Winn said, and then realized exactly what he was saying. His jaw dropped.

“No, nonononononononononononono,” Winn started, and then took some time to process. “So why were you staring at him?”

“To see if he was really into you or if I was just imagining things.”

“Awww, Kara,” Winn said, hugging his friend. “Wait, so who were you actually talking about?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kara asked before she whispered, “Lena.”

“Lena?!” Winn exclaimed, causing Kara to shush him. “So why haven’t you asked her out?”

“Well why haven’t you asked Mon out?” Kara responded. “I’m afraid she’ll break my heart. With you it’s different, though. If I ask Lena out and she rejects me, I don’t have to see her again. But if you ask Mon out and he rejects you, you have to see him every day. Just be careful, is all I’m saying. Look at the situation from every angle.”

Winn carefully listened to his friend’s advice. He knew that she wasn’t trying to make him feel bad about potentially asking out Mon. Instead, he realized that she was only trying to protect him. 

“So,” Winn started, “Are you saying I should make a move on him?” 

“No, because I don’t think he knows that he likes you. Have you seen him? He’s not exactly very self-aware.”

“So you’re saying…?”

“Even if he does have feelings for you (which I’m pretty sure he does) he doesn’t know it yet. Just be careful around him. Almost everything has to be explained to him; love should be the one thing he figures out for himself.”

Winn remembered that his friend was also in his situation.

“I’ve been so selfish,” He said. “Do you wanna talk about you and Lena?”

“Nah,” She said. “ I mean, look at us. We’re both young, single, attractive people and here we are not enjoying this amazing party we’re at. Look around Winn-” 

She stopped because not far from them Mon was dancing with Lena.

“Actually on second thought don’t look around.”

Winn retracted his head, keeping it on Kara.

“That’s good. Like that. Don’t look anywhere else but…”

“He’s dancing with Lena, isn’t he?”

“You know what? Screw this.”

She grabbed his hand and dragged him to the rest of their friends, where they all enjoyed the evening together. Mon joined them for the most part, but frequently left to dance with some beautiful reporter or wealthy woman. Alex and Maggie danced with each other all night, as if nothing else in the world mattered to them. Instead of being jealous, Winn was happy for them. It seemed like Kara’s talk really did help him. They were a few hours and a few drinks into the night when Winn had sat down at the bar to grab a martini. 

…

Mon-El looked around the room, staring at the very revealing dresses and firing flirtatious smiles at any pretty woman in sight.  _Okay,_ he thought to himself _, which one should I chose?_ There wasn’t exactly a limited selection, although for some reason he didn’t care much for any of them. He knew that was the point of a one-night-stand, but still; if he was going to spend an entire night on top of someone, he had to find them at least a bit hot. He knew what was causing his indecision; it was that stupid feeling he got last Friday night, the one that came back more and more often now. The one he was feeling right then. His thoughts were interrupted when Maggie joined his side. He always enjoyed her company, and figured he’d strike up a conversation. Maybe she could take his mind off what he was feeling.

“So how are things with you and Alex?” He asked, trying to make what Winn once called “small talk.”

“Good, really good,” she responded. “Are you feeling better tonight?”

That caught him off-guard; the whole point of talking to her was so she could distract him from how he was feeling.

“Oh, because of last Friday? Yeah, sorta.” 

“What’s the problem?”

Mon paused for a moment, debating whether or not to open up to her. Maybe she could help him understand what was happening to him.  _Worth a shot,_ he thought.

“I get this feeling sometimes. Something I’ve never felt before. Like I’m happy but I’m sad too? Like I’m lonely but loved at the same time- I know it doesn’t make sense…”

“Aww, Mon. You’re in love with someone.”

“Really?” He asked, not knowing whether to be excited or terrified.

“Yeah, definitely. Let’s see if we can figure out who; name some times when you’ve felt this way.”

“Okay…” Mon thought, trying to remember every single time, “Every day after Halloween.”

“Well that’s very specific; any time when it was strongest?”

“Every other morning, Christmas Eve and Day, New Year’s, when I watched _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ …”

“…love that movie – keep going…”

“…so, so many times last month, and basically every time we hang out as a group.”

“Including now?”

“Including now.”

“Could it be Kara?”

“That’s what I’m thinking, since she picked me up after I watched the movie with Winn, and I run into her before and after my training sessions…”

 “Wait – you watched the movie with Winn?”

“Yeah.”

“And you have training with Winn every other morning?”

“Yeah…” He said, and then realized what she was thinking.

“Wait,” He asked with a small laugh of disbelief, “you don’t seriously think that I’m in love with Winn, do you?”

“All evidence is supporting that conclusion, so yes.”

“But -” Mon started as he looked at Winn. He was sitting there, analysing the world around him in his own signature way. He looked so smart, even as he sipped on a martini. Mon thought about how scared of his own powers he’d been when he first arrived on Earth, but how Winn’s enthusiasm towards superheroes made him realize that they were a gift. He also remembered how Winn had always been patient with him, even forgiving him for getting him into trouble on Halloween. Kara briefly joined Winn at the bar, and they laughed about something. God, Winn looked so cute whenever he laughed about something.  _Huh_ , he thought. He made his way towards the bar, and sure enough he felt his heart clench and his stomach churn. He powered through it, and eventually arrived by Winn’s side.

“Hey, Winn,” He said, trying to play it cool.

“Hi,” Winn responded, looking like he was struggling not to look at him. Mon thought for a second, and pretended to have a revelation.

“How rude of me,” He said, “I’ve danced with everyone here except you.”

Winn blushed.

“Me? Why- why would you wanna dance with me?”

“It’s tradition on Daxam to dance with everyone at the party,” Mon lied.

“Huh,” Winn responded as a half smile crossed his face.

“So, wanna dance?”

“Yes!” Winn said, and then his half-smile completely vanished, “I mean no- I mean no offense but…”

“Come on, just one dance.”

Mon looked at Winn’s pensive face. He usually loved seeing Winn think, but now he just wanted him to shut up and dance with him.

“I’m sorry, dude, but no,” Winn said, sounding like he hated himself. Mon felt his heart sink, but then smirked as an idea popped into his head.

“Why are you smiling?” Winn asked, but Mon-El had already made his way to the band on the stage. He looked up at the main singer as she finished her song. She wore a dress with a diamond design, half of them being gold and the other half being black. The bright colours of her pink and blue pigtails stood out against her unnaturally pale skin. 

“Hey, could you play  _How ‘Bout a Dance_?” Mon-El asked her.

“From that Bonnie and Clyde musical?” She asked in a thick Brooklyn accent.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“You got it, Puddin’!”

The band began to play the song, and Mon-El made his way back to Winn just as he figured out what he was doing.

“Mon-El…” He started angrily.

“ _How ’bout a dance? What do you say?_ __  
_I’ve got some moves that I’d love to show you_ _  
__Let’s find a spot and dance the night away_ ” 

Mon mouthed the lyrics in perfect unison with a seductive facial expression. He then pretended to pull Winn closer with an imaginary rope, as he backed into the center of the dance floor. Winn relaxed his shoulders as he caved and made his way to Mon-El. 

“ _How ‘bout a dance? It’s always fun_

_Come over here, let me get to know you…_ ” the singer sang as Winn and Mon-El began to dance.

“You’re pretty good at this,” Winn said to Mon. 

“I happened to have a great teacher,” Mon said.

Winn scanned the room as he saw who Mon was referring to.

“Lena?”

“Yeah, she said she could use the practise. She’s planning on dancing with someone tonight.”

Winn looked around and exchanged a look of pure happiness with whoever was dancing with Lena. Mon-El didn’t bother to look; there was no way he was taking his eyes off Winn’s handsome face, which looked even better up close. Mon-El held on tight to Winn, holding him like how a child holds onto their favourite teddy bear. Winn looked up at his friend, and Mon smiled, feeling for the first time since he left Daxam that he had a home. 

“ _How ‘bout a dance_

_Let’s make a start_

_Music like this_

_Can really throw you_

_You’ll lose the blues_

_And you may lose your heart_ ,” The singer belted, as Winn and Mon-El came to the end of their dance. Mon dipped Winn, staring into his eyes as an idea entered their minds.

“ _You’ll lose the blues_

_And you may lose_

_Your heart_ ” the singer finished as Winn pulled himself up to meet Mon. Everything went silent for the two. No distractions. No CADMUS. Not even Kara or their other friends. Nothing at all, except the lovable, spastic techie and the alien with the puppy dog eyes in a hella gorgeous frame. Their lips were inches away from each other when a single, powerful thought entered Mon-El’s mind:  _what the hell am I doing_? He stood upright, bringing Winn with him.

“Is everything ok?” Winn asked. 

Mon looked at him, sad and disappointed in himself for letting Winn believe that a relationship between the two could ever work.

“I have to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd ya think? Did you like it? Did you catch any cameos or references from/to any other DC characters? Let me know in the comments below. Here's the song:  
> How 'Bout A Dance (Bonnie and Clyde):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7EpcYCqHB4  
> I heard it back in November and loved picturing Winn and Mon-El dancing to it, so I thought I'd include it in my fic!


	3. City of Stars

Mon ignored Winn’s calls as he rushed out of the gala, hurrying as fast as he could without exposing his powers. Every cell in his body longed to feel the warmth of Winn’s touch, to feel the electricity of Winn’s enthusiasm, to feel loved. But he couldn’t. He had to get away before the night had fully solidified into memory, before he realized the magnitude of his mistake. He waited until he felt alone, and used his speed to run as fast as he could, not knowing where he was going. His life on Daxam was so simple. He didn’t ask to have his planet become a barren wasteland. He didn’t ask to land on a planet that was so different from his own that he needed people constantly explaining things to him. He didn’t ask to land on a planet with a star that turned him into a freak of nature. He didn’t ask to land on a planet where he would meet a handsome nerd whose smile could lift him to infinity. _Stop_ , he thought to himself, _stop thinking about him_. Maybe if he ignored his feelings they would go away. As he ran, he tried to block out the special moments that he shared with Winn. He tried not to think about the first time he trained with Winn, when Winn fanboyed all over him, and how the wonderful way he spoke about Mon’s powers made him blush. He tried not to think about the time he and Winn got drunk on Halloween, and how the two spent the night feeling like they’d never grow old. He tried not to think about how much he loved it when Winn explained Earth terms to him. The keyword in all this was “trying”. He stopped running because he realized that he truly didn’t know where he would go from here. Where would he hide? There was no place he could go that his friends wouldn’t find him. Even if he did find a place to hide, and even if they never found him, what then? Would he spend his entire life alone, never again to see Winn? The mere thought of that was enough to bring him to his knees, as tears began to shed from his eyes. He looked back at the path that he had travelled, marked by the speed of his feet. Somewhere down there was Winn. Was he mad? Confused? Could he ever forgive Mon if he found him? And why was Mon so bothered by this? It’s not like he actually had romantic feelings for Winn, did he? No, impossible; he’d been into women his whole life, it wasn’t like that would change. But if that was true how come he felt the way he did around Winn? Is that what friendship felt like? If that were true then why didn’t he feel satisfied with how things were? All of these questions and more bounced around in his brain, questions about the man who five minutes ago was considered “just a friend.”

…

Winn ignored Kara’s calls as he rushed out of the gala, desperately trying to find Mon-El. He didn’t know how to feel. Should he be happy that he just danced with the alien he loved? Should he be sad that said alien ran from him like he had the plague? _Maybe he had a good reason_ , thought Winn to himself. Who was he kidding? Mon probably never loved him. It was his fault Mon left; he should have known that he wasn’t trying to make a move on him. He should have known that everyone would be happier if he had just kept his mouth shut. God dammit, why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut for once in his life? Right, because he honestly thought that a guy like him could end up with a guy like Mon-El. Because he honestly believed that someone so amazing could ever fall for someone as ordinary as himself.

…

15 minutes had passed since Mon-El abruptly left the party. It happened so suddenly that at first most of the Superfriends hadn’t even noticed he’d left. Kara was frantically searching for Winn or Mon or both. She thought of all the possible places that Mon-El could have gone to, a task that was seemingly _impossible_ ; the Daxamite hadn’t spent enough time on Earth to develop an attachment to a place yet. She thought of getting a bird’s eye view, but she knew that flying while tired and tipsy never ended well for anyone. It was well past midnight, and she could feel her eyes beginning to shut together, like a clam shell. Despite this, she couldn’t have left just yet. Besides, she wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyways knowing her best friend was alone and heartbroken. Maybe they left together? No; optimism was one thing but an assumption like that would have been just plain delusional.

“I checked the perimeter, no signs of Winn or Mon-El,” Maggie said to Kara after another 10 minutes went by. Winn wasn’t answering his phone, and Mon didn’t even have one.

“James just texted me saying Winn’s not at his apartment.”

“Alex said neither of them are at the DEO.”

“Can you contact some friends in the police force?”

“It doesn’t work like that. A person has to be gone for at least 48 hours until they can be considered ‘missing’. Haven’t you ever watched SVU?”

“Right,” Kara said to herself, getting increasingly flustered by the minute.

“Kara, it’s late; I think you should go home.”

“We have to find them…”

“And we will, but right now there’s nothing we can do. Please, Kara; get some rest.”

Kara thought for a moment, and then decided that perhaps Maggie was right. She was just on her way out of the party when she heard a voice calling for her.

“Kara!” Lena exclaimed. Kara sighed; she had been so preoccupied with her friends that she hadn’t even processed her dance with Lena.

“Lena, I’m really sorry but I have to go.”

“I know; I wanted to know if you wanted me to walk you home.”

Kara’s face lit up, but then remembered the situation she was in. How could she enjoy a nice walk with the woman she’s interested in when her friends were missing?

“That’s very kind of you, but I wouldn’t want you to miss your party.”

“Oh please, I was just on my way out. I have work tomorrow anyways.”

Kara tried to think of some complex excuse, but nothing came to mind. If Winn were here, he’d want her to walk with Lena instead of worrying about him.

“I’d love to walk home with you...I mean not to your home, to my home, but with you accompanying me...not that you’d be necessarily crossing the threshold of my apartment…”

Lena laughed as Kara continued to ramble franticly. Eventually, Kara just stopped talking altogether.

“Shall we?” Lena asked.

“We shall,” Kara said.

The two grabbed their coats before heading outside of the ballroom, entering the streets of National City. Only dim streetlights lit the way for the pair, yet for some reason they still felt as if the way was illuminated for them. When Kara looked up, she could see why: the entire night sky was filled with thousands of sparkling stars, as if the two women were walking in a dream.

“They’re beautiful,” Kara said in astonishment.

“I know; I used to look up at the night sky when I was a little girl. I used to pretend that they would only shine for me. A little orphan girl, with a whole city of stars shining down on her.”

Kara recalled her own time as an orphan in National City, before she had ever formed a real bond with her foster family. She remembered looking up at the sky in the middle of the night, and being absolutely blown away by the shimmering sky. It was a feeling that had faded away with overexposure, only to be reawakened now as she was holding Lena’s hand, walking home on a cold, snowy night.

“ _City of Stars_

_Are you shining just for me?_

_City of Stars_

_There’s so much that I can’t see_ ” Lena began to sing before turning to Kara, looking directly into her eyes with a sense of sweet admiration.

“ _Who knows_

_I felt it from the first embrace_

_I shared with you_ ”

Kara felt herself blush, and then looked into Lena’s eyes.

“ _That now our dreams_

_May finally come true”_

Kara sang, her worries and fears beginning to melt away.

_“City of Stars_

_Just one thing everybody wants_

_There in the bars_

_And through the smoke screens of the crowded restaurants_ ”

Kara sang, giggling as Lena took her by the hand and guided her into the middle of the streets.

“ _It's love_

_Yes all we're looking for is love_

_From someone else_ ” Kara and Lena sang together, their voices harmonizing as they danced in the middle of the street.

“ _A rush”_

 _“A glance”_ _  
_

_“A touch”_

_“A dance”_

The two continued to dance together, each taking turns twirling the other as they both sang.

“ _To look in somebody's eyes_

_To light up the skies_

_To open the world and send them reeling_

_A voice that says I'll be here_

_And you'll be alright_

 

_I don’t know care if I know_

_Just where I will go_

_Cause all that I need’s this crazy feeling_

_A rat-tat-tat on my heart”_

Lena pulled Kara closer, gazing into her eyes as if they themselves were a galaxy unto themselves.

“ _City of Stars_ ” Lena sang, her lips inching closer to Kara’s. Kara paused for a moment, contemplating her emotions.

“ _You_ _never shined so brightly_ ” she sang as her lips met Lena’s. It was freezing outside, but the two had never felt so warm in their lives, as if their love was a blanket that wrapped around them, protecting them from the coldness of the world. After partaking in a passionate kiss, Kara and Lena’s lips separated, still thirsty for the chance to meet again. Kara looked around and realized that she had arrived at the street she lived on.

“This is where I leave you,” Lena said as she walked Kara from the streets to the door.

“Goodnight, Lena,” Kara said, still smiling from their dance.

“Goodnight, Kara.” Lena said as she slowly let go of Kara’s hand and walked away. Surprisingly, neither felt lonely. Kara entered her apartment building and walked up the stairs, still enchanted by her magical moment. She was so enchanted that she had failed to notice that her door was broken, or that there was a pair of dress shoes that were left lying around on the floor until she entered her home. She quickly turned the lights on, only to find a depressing sight: Mon-El was lying on the couch, his head buried in his hands. His hair was completely disheveled, and his shirt was untucked. He finally noticed Kara, and looked at her with his lost puppy dog eyes.

“I’m a terrible person, aren’t I?” He asked her. Kara sighed.

“That remains to be seen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> City of Stars (La La Land): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTWqwSNQCcg&spfreload=10  
> Lovely song, but just know that Lena Luthor does not sing like Ryan Gosling in this story. Just wanna make that clear. Let me know what you think in the comments below, and stay tuned for more chapters if you're interested.


	4. I Am Mon-El

Mon-El had just reluctantly put on his sleepwear before plopping onto the couch, as Kara made a pot of tea to calm him down. She poured the steaming liquid into two mugs, sitting down next to her distraught former love interest. She handed him a cup, but he waved his hand away, which was him trying to say no, but he was so tired and so miserable that it just came across as him trying to swat a fly away.

“I don’t want your leaf-water,” He said to her with a resting bitch-face. Kara sighed. She spent so much time trying to convince Mon to at least slightly take care of himself that it was well past 3am. Tonight had been an emotional roller-coaster for her, and she wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed. But Supergirl never gets a day or a night off, apparently. She sat her tea down on the coffee table as she waited for Mon to start talking. He looked out the window from the couch, gazing at the starry night sky. She knew that look in his eyes. He once told her that when he was in times of distress, he would look at the sky and picture one of the stars as Daxam. She knew by the look in his eyes that he was desperately in need of the his home’s guidance. After a minute or two of silence, Kara finally caved.

“So what’s bothering you?” She asked him. He looked around with a sad look on his face.

“I need to find a way to apologize to Winn. You know, for leading him on?”

Kara listened with curiosity.

“Leading him on?”

“Yeah. You saw all the mixed signals I sent. I didn’t mean for him to try to kiss me. I was just...being friendly.”

Kara nodded as she sipped her tea, already psychoanalyzing him.

“And now I have to train with him and it’s going to be awkward and every time we meet as a group will be awkward… I just wish that tonight never happened.”

Kara thought for a moment.

“So you’re telling me that you don’t like Winn?”

“Of course I do.”

“No, I mean in a romantic sense.”

“Oh...no, I don’t think so,” he said, but there was a look in his eyes that suggested uncertainty, “Look, I feel really bad for what I did; I see now how dancing with him might've been misleading. I didn’t mean to flirt.”

At that point she could tell he was lying.

“Why are humans so sensitive?” He asked her, trying to smile. “I mean something like this would never have happened on Daxam…”

“Oh my Rao...” Kara began, but then remembered something important: Mon wasn't some criminal that she had to interrogate. He was her friend, and one that needed help. While she knew he was lying to himself about his feelings, she also knew that he didn't want her to know that. She sighed, and decided to play along with what he was saying, for his sake.

“ So,” she started, “you want help making things less awkward with Winn?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to talk to him before you have to train with him?”

“Sure…actually no. On Daxam, if you upset a friend you're supposed to be the one to make things better.”

“Ok, just know that he may not be so comfortable around you for a while. Something like this happened before; he’ll come around eventually, but until then you just need to give him some time and space.”

Mon’s face dropped, like he were a child hearing someone say that Santa wasn't real.

“That sucks.”

“That's friendship.”

Kara got up and began to wash her empty tea mug as an idea popped into her head. It was smart. Really smart. But it was also really mean. She looked at Mon-El sitting on the couch, playing with his thumbs and looking so sad at the thought of being apart from Winn. _I'm going to regret this,_ Kara thought to herself.

“Mon-El!” She said as she turned to face him. “You want Winn to get over you, right?”

Mon looked as if his heart had sunk, but nodded anyways.

“Great. So, all we have to do is find him a date!”

As soon as those words left her mouth, Mon’s fists clenched and his teeth gritted against each other. He began to pant heavily in anger.

“Mon-El, are you ok?” Kara asked, knowing full well what the answer was. Mon glared at her, a look of realization and betrayal appearing on his face. Kara could tell that Mon had figured out exactly what she was trying to do.

“You…” He said, pointing to Kara, “Why are you doing this? Why do you keep messing with everyone’s lives?” He was truly furious with her.

“I was just trying to…”

“Trying to what? Make me admit that I love Winn? I already told you I don’t!” He said defensively, yet with a hint of a hysterical smile.

“With all due respect we both know that’s not true. Just say it; you’ll feel better.”

“But I don't!”

“Then why do you stare at him all the time?”

Mon-El covered his ears as his army of suppressed feelings began to tug and pull at him, begging to be let out.

“ _Stop...please, stop!_ ” He finally cried out, his voice shaking with fury. He got up and stomped his way to his room before slamming the door so hard the entire building shook. Kara’s thoughts were buzzing like bees, screaming at how she ignored boundaries and how to have her as a friend was something that shouldn't be wished upon anyone. They harassed her, making sure every bit of her confidence was completely devoured.

...

As the building shook, Mon-El looked at his powerful hands, terrified at what he had just caused. He lay down on his bed; his mind suddenly being taken over not by thoughts of his feelings for Winn, but by his insecurities that we're eating him up like termites.

 _Why, Mon-El?_ _  
_

_Why did you have to fuck around and get attached to him?_

_You know you can’t ever be with him._

_Since when were you into men?_

_Even if you were, you honestly think you could ever be with him? That’s adorably pathetic._ _  
_

_You’re a freak; you’ll kill him._

_All you ever do is hurt people._

_He only loves you because everything’s new to you; he’ll get bored of you once this place becomes your home._

_This is all a phase; wait it out and it’ll pass._

_What would the people of Daxam say?_

_What a sad and confused being you’ve become._

This half of his brain fought against his other half, using his mind as a battlefield.

_Don’t listen to them, Mon-El._

_You belong with him._

_He’ll help you control yourself._

_You’re not a freak._

_He’ll love you no matter what._

_How dare you say it’s just a phase._

_Who the fuck cares what the people of Daxam would say? They’re dead; you’re alive._

_Think of his smile, his laugh, his energy; don’t you want that?_

_Don’t deprive yourself of that._

_You know how you feel around him._

_He can be yours; all you have to do is ask._

His thoughts tore him apart, eating away at his sanity. He spent every day since Halloween burying his feelings without even realizing it. When he asked Winn to dance, and when Winn leaned in to kiss him, Pandora’s Box was opened. His feelings sunk from his brain to his throat, where they made their way out his mouth, releasing in the form of a deep scream that rung in his ears long after it had finished. There was a pause once it was done, like the calm after a storm. It was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. Kara twisted the knob and entered, walking towards Mon-El as if she were trying not to set off a mine. She sat down next to Mon, his face and teary eyes buried in a pillow.

“I’m sorry,” They both said at the exact same time.

“You first,” Mon said, taking his head out of the pillow as he faced Kara.

“I shouldn’t have pushed you; I should have trusted you to speak to me when you were ready,”

Kara said sincerely; there were tears forming in her eyes, but her voice was steady.

“The truth is...I think I’ve been so eager to intervene in everyone else’s love lives because I’m scarred of mine.”

Mon-El was confused, and Kara could probably tell since she started explaining things for him.

“This is the first time I've ever been this into someone, and I think I'm scared of messing it up. That's why I've been meddling in everyone's lives, because I’d rather admire mine from a distance than live it.”

Mon was really confused now; he had always been under the impression that Kara was interested in him.

“Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I was wrong to have pretended to know your feelings better than you.”

Mon-El paused for a moment, debating how he should respond.

“There might have been some truth to the things you said,” He began. “I do have...feelings...for Winn. But I shouldn't and I can't, so there's no use getting upset over it.”

“Why do you think that?”

Mon thought of all the reasons why he and Winn could never work.

“It's gonna take some time.”

Kara sat back on the pillows of the bed, moving around until she had settled in comfortably. Mon sighed.

“I really don’t want any more change.”

“What do you mean?”

“Almost everything in my life is different than before; new friends, new planet, new culture, new rules...and on top of that I find out I’ve got super-strength, which started out all fun and games until I realized I had no control over it. Now, just as I think I’m getting the hang of all of those, I start thinking about Winn. Like in ways that I’m not supposed to. This isn’t like me to have these feelings for anyone, much less a...how does he always say it? Dude? Anyways, he was supposed to be helping me with my changes, but instead he just made more. Apparently it’s not enough that I have to be both a stranger on this planet and a stranger in my body, but now I have to be a stranger in my mind too.”

Kara took a minute to think, not sure how she should respond.

“It’s funny,” Mon began, “In the back of my mind I’ve always thought that you and I would end up together.”

“You and I?” Kara asked, pointing to herself.

“Well it makes sense, doesn’t it? You know, you’re a girl from a planet I don’t like, and I’m a boy from a planet you don’t like, and you would teach me to be a hero and all that…” he stopped as an idea popped into his head. “Why don’t we just do that?” He asked.

“Tell me you’re joking.”

“Just hear me out: if we mate, then I don’t have to worry about my feelings for Winn and you don’t have to worry about ruining your chances with...whoever you’re thinking about. Sounds pretty good to me.”

“Yeah, except for the fact that we’d be trapped in a loveless relationship.”

“Love is overrated! It’s confusing, and annoying, and it’s so exhausting!” He said, rolling his eyes.

“You’re right; it’s all of those things. But it’s also worth it, and very, very exciting! To be with someone who cares for you, and who would do anything for you. To share experiences, and to live your life knowing that you’ll never be alone. Your idea is probably easier, and yes, we’d both be way less stressed out if we went your way. But we’d also both be living our lives always wondering, ‘What if I had just _tried_ to be with the one I love?’ You may want that, but I certainly don’t.”

Mon was silent, thinking to himself.

“I just don’t want anything else about me to change. So much in my life is different, I barely recognize it anymore.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing!” Kara said excitedly. “My life was never the same after I came out as Supergirl, but in a good way. I no longer had to hide who I was from the world, or from my friends. I know it’s not the same, but for me when I accepted who I was, I became a lot happier. Look, the way I see it is that you’re having these feelings, and they’re not going to go away even if you try to deny them. So, you can either accept them as a part of you and be happy, or you can ignore them and have them tear you apart; it’s your choice.”

“Well that’s a very one-sided way of looking at things,” He told her, “But even if I do listen to you about that, and even if I am...whatever you call it here, that’s not the only reason why I can’t be with him. What if I hurt him?”

“Do you plan to?”

“No! I would never-”

“Then trust yourself as much as he trusts you. He wouldn’t try to be with you if he weren’t willing to take the risk.”

“Okay,” He said, “Well what if he ends things with me? I’ll have to see him every day!”

“You two haven’t even gotten together yet; I don’t think you need to worry about breaking up just yet.”

“What if I ask to be his mate and he refuses?”

“You’ll never know unless you try.”

“What if he gets bored of me once everything stops being new for me?”

“I don't think that's the only reason why he likes you. Besides, this world’s full of surprises; even people who are born here don't have enough time to see it all.”

“What would my family back on Daxam have thought about this? Would they have accepted me?”

That one stumped her.

“Honestly,” Kara said, “I don’t know. And neither do you. All we can do is hope that our families would’ve accepted us for who we are. Anything else?”

Mon scavenged the deepest reaches of his mind, trying to think of other reasons why he thought he and Winn could never work.

“This is all so confusing,” He complained, “What am I? Do I like men, do I like women?”

“You can like both! It doesn’t have to be either or.”

“Really?” He asked, both excited and intrigued. “That sounds fun!”

“I know right!” Kara exclaimed. “ _You get the best of both worlds…_ ” She said, singing along to the _Hannah Montana_ theme song. She laughed at her joke, but stopped when she saw Mon’s puzzled face.

“It’s from a tv show that was very popular…”

“Don’t tell me! I’ll use it as a conversation starter tomorrow!” Mon said, and then a thought popped into his head.

“Wait-why do I have to wait until tomorrow? I’ll go find him right now!”

“Wait-no!” Kara said, but it was too late; Mon-El had already jumped out the window, running through the streets to Winn’s apartment. Kara flew after him, hoping  it would be too late for anyone to catch her flying in her pyjamas. Within a minute Mon had arrived at his destination, where he broke down the door and scoured his friend’s home. Kara arrived a minute later, just in time to see her friend finish up his search. He stopped and looked at her, his confusion making a home in his big, blue eyes.

“Where is he?” He asked her. He had grown so used to Winn always being there for him that he started to treat him like a chew toy; pick it up, play with it, leave it alone, and then go back to it when you're in the mood. It hadn't even crossed his mind that Winn could possibly be doing something in his spare time other than waiting around for him.

“We don't know. Maggie and the others have been looking for him, but so far he hasn't turned up yet.”

Mon sat down on Winn’s bed, hating himself for what he had done.

“This is all my fault; I shouldn't have abandoned him after our dance.”

“In your defence, you were going through a lot,” Kara said as she sat next to him.

“That doesn't mean what I did was right.” His heart felt heavy as he put his hands on his head. “How am I going to fix things with him? Can I?”

“Of course.”

“How do you know for sure? You don't know who I am. _I_ barely know who I am.”

“I know,” Kara said, “I know who you are.” She thought about the man sitting next to her as a melody began to play in her head.

“ _I know a boy from a planet_

_He stands apart from the crowd_

_He loves his world and this one_

_He makes all his friends proud,"_ She sang to him in her angelic voice.

“ _Sometimes the world seems against you_

_The journey may leave a scar_

_But scars can heal and reveal just_

_Where you are_ ”

She patted his knee reassuringly, as he became more relaxed.

“ _The people you love will change you_

_The things you have learned will guide you_

_And nothing on Earth can silence_

_The quiet voice still inside you_

_And when that voice starts to whisper_

_Mon-El you’ve come so far_

_Mon-El listen_

_Do you know who you are?”_

“Who am I?” Mon-El asked her. He took a breath as all his thoughts came to his mind.

“ _I'm a boy who loves my planet_

_But I love Winn too, you see_

_He calls me_ ”

He sang, his voice strong but vulnerable at the same time. The calm, slow melody in his head sped up after he realized something important: all this time he had thought that it was Winn who was calling him, his heart who was drawing Mon closer with every beat. It wasn’t until now, when he was singing his life story to the tune of a _Moana_ song, that he realized the truth.

“ _Wait-the call isn’t out there at all_

_It’s inside me_

_It’s like the tide_

_Always falling and rising_ ”

He ran to the window, gazing at the starry night sky. He pictured one of those stars as Daxam, no longer needing his home’s guidance.

“ _I will carry you here in my heart_

_You’ll remind me_

_That come what may_

_I know the way_ ”

He turned to Kara, his charismatic and cocky grin once again on his handsome face.

“I am Mon-El.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2Lm1-W0jow&spfreload=10  
> Again, gorgeous song, but I just want you to know that Mon-El does not sing like Moana, and Kara does not sing like Moana's grandmother. Just wanna make that crystal clear. Let me know what you think in the comments below, and stand by for Chapter 5 if you're interested.


	5. The One Without a Musical Number Part 1

 

 

The Saturday and Sunday that followed were some of the most terrifying and exhilarating days of Mon-El’s life. Winn had contacted Kara to say he was on assignment for the DEO, and that he would only be back on Monday. She tried to ask him how he was feeling, but he hung up right after he finished saying what he needed to say. Kara spent the rest of Saturday helping Mon mentally prepare himself for Monday morning, which never seemed so daunting for the aliens until recently. 

“Hey, Winn...the weather’s nice, isn’t it?” Mon practised in front of the mirror.

“Again,”  Kara called from the couch.

“What did I do wrong this time?” Mon asked; he was both eager to know how to improve his greetings and fed up with Kara constantly making him follow her rules.

“We don’t know what the weather will be like; if it’s crappy then he’ll think you’re joking and he won’t take anything you have to say seriously.”

“Right,” He said, turning back to the mirror. “Hey, Winn...look, about Friday night…”

“Stop. Don’t bring up your main goal of the conversation right away; break the ice first.” 

Mon longed for the time when he could turn to Winn and ask him what “Breaking the ice” meant. It was probably for that reason alone he still put up with Kara’s micromanagement. 

“I didn’t break out into song about finding my own way just to take orders from you,” He told Kara a few minutes later, when he finally had enough.

“So you don’t want my help?”

“I’m just saying whatever happened to you admitting that you were using my life as a distraction from your relationship with...you still haven’t told me who it is you’re dating yet. That's how good you are at distractions.”

“The only person distracting anyone right now is you. From the top.”

Mon turned to face the mirror again, staring into his reflection as he searched his mind for a better way to open his conversation. He was busy thinking when Kara felt a buzz in her pocket; it was her phone. Lena had sent her a message that read, “Dinner tonight?” Kara giggled frantically as she texted back, “I’d love to.”

“Hey, Kara how’s this…”

“Do whatever you want; I trust you,” She said quickly as she grabbed her coat and headed out the door to see Alex. She would need help choosing an outfit to impress Lena.

“Really? Thanks…”

“No problem bye!” Kara said hurriedly as she closed the door behind her.

…

Sunday had been a bit more relaxed than Saturday, mainly thanks to the fact that Kara’s night with Lena went amazingly. Or at least that’s how Mon-El thought it went, since when he woke up the next morning he was the only one in the apartment. Kara showed up at around noon; her hair was a complete mess, and she was wearing her outfit from the night before. Mon slow clapped as she entered before plopping herself down on the couch.

“I’m so weak,” She said, although she didn’t sound very disappointed.

…

That night Kara went out with Lena again, and Mon once again stayed in. He wasn’t in the mood for an evening excursion, not when he had only a few hours until he would be reunited with Winn. He always liked to live life in the moment, but in the back of his mind he had a rough outline of how things would go down: he would arrive at the DEO right on time, find Winn immediately, tell him how he felt, and then have sex on the cold, hard floors of the training room. Was he being optimistic? Sure, but that wasn’t a bad thing, was it? He honestly couldn’t tell with all the butterflies in his stomach. He crawled into bed a bit earlier than usual so he could have extra time in the morning to get himself looking his absolute best. He pulled the sheets over himself as he nestled into a comfortable position, the warmth of the bed and the thought of a nerdy smile intoxicating him like a glass of spiked apple cider. He took in the feeling of being alone in his bed; hopefully, he wouldn’t feel this way for a long time. He shut his eyes, thinking that by that time the next day he wouldn’t be sleeping alone.

…

He got up at 7am sharp and ran to the shower, before rubbing soap over what many a woman had referred to as his "perfect body"...apparently beauty standards on Daxam were no different from Earth's. He had always seen the appeal of his swelling muscles and cute stubble, and hoped that Winn did too, even though the latter looked like what Kara would’ve called a "nerdy kind of adorable.” He was feeling the hot water rain down on him as he thought of all he had been through in the past few days. It would all be worth it as he pressed his lips onto Winn’s, feeling the human’s irresistible energy surge through him like electricity. He stepped out, grabbed his towel and dried himself before proceeding to get dressed. He prepared his and Kara’s breakfast with his superhuman speed, all the while taking in the scent of pancakes being cooked and the sight of exploding blueberries. He had just perfectly divided up the pancakes into two respective stacks when out of the corner of his eye he spotted Kara.

“It’s just you here, right?” Mon asked.

“What-oh, uh-huh,” Kara said sleepily. Her eyes scanned the room to see plates of blueberry pancakes drenched in maple syrup.

“How do you know how to cook?” She asked him as he pulled up a seat for her and brought the two plates to the table.

“Oh, you know, watching and learning,” He said as he sat down, getting ready to pick up the pancakes when Kara playfully slapped his fingers.

“Right, on Earth we use cutlery,” He said in a voice that was meant to mock the way Kara explained things. It was early, but Kara had detected the jab and laughed.

“Nervous?” She asked him as he began to cut up his breakfast.

“Just a little,” he told her sheepishly.

…

Kara and Mon-El waited patiently in the lobby of the building that housed the DEO. Mon paced around the room, while Kara was talking to Alex and Maggie about her date. Mon glanced at the clock; it was 8:55. He knew Kara would want to be heading up soon to avoid being late, but he figured he’d risk it for the biscuit. He made the right decision, because sure enough, his biscuit walked through the revolving door. The only problem was that his biscuit arrived with a heap of gravy. Walking in with him was a short woman with blonde hair combed all on one side. She was wearing a lab coat, a red dress shirt, and a tight and short blue skirt. Glasses with a black frame that faded to red towards the bottom rested on her beautiful face.

"Winn,” Kara began, “Who’s this?”

“Um, she’s a friend of mine from...Gotham City; she helped me with my assignment.”

“Dr. Margot Robbie, nice ta meetcha,” The woman told Kara as she shook her hand. Her faint New York accent made her sound childlike, yet seductive at the same time.

“And Winn, I think we’re a bit more than just friends. It’s okay, you can tell them,” She said to Winn.

“Um..uh…” Winn began.

“Oh, you’re so cute!” She told him affectionately, and then turned to Kara.

“I’m his girlfriend.”

Mon ran towards her, probably to kick her ass, but Alex and Maggie held him back with all the combined might of a lesbian power couple. 

“Oh,” Kara managed, “That...was fast.”

“Yeah, we met as soon as I arrived in Gotham. I was trying to work up the courage to ask her out the whole time I was working there,” Winn told her.

“As luck would have it, I just so happened to be planning to move to National City, and thought I could use a friend,” She said.

“So what was this assignment?” Kara asked them.

“Well, there was someone in a psychiatric ward who claimed to be an alien. J’onn sent me there to run some tests, just to make sure he wasn’t telling the truth,” Winn told Kara plainly, almost as if he’d rehearsed the explanation before. Margot glanced at her watch.

“Oh god; I’m gonna be late! Gotta run, but it was real nice meeting you guys,” She said as she turned and kissed Winn directly on the lips. Still kissing him, she looked directly into Mon-El’s eyes and winked. Once she broke apart, she turned to everyone and said, "Bye!" before walking off.

“I-I’ll, um, walk you to your car!” Winn said as he ran after her. Maggie and Alex let go of Mon once Winn and Margot were out of sight.

“I need to get rid of that bitch,” Mon-El said angrily once Winn had walked away.

“Mon-El!” Kara exclaimed.

“What? Did I not use that word correctly?” Mon asked Kara curiously.

“No, but...ugh, we really need to filter what we say around you.”

“I’m gonna filter what she says around me with my fist...oh, when I get my hands on her I’m gonna tear her stupid, perfect head off her stupid, perfect body!” He said behind clenched teeth as he marched towards the door. 

“Whoah, whoah calm down,” Kara said jumping in front of him.

“I don’t need to calm down! She needs to calm down!” He yelled in frustration.

“Deep breaths,” Kara told him, and he began to calm.

“How could he? I mean, Halloween, all the late nights together, our dance...did they mean nothing to him?” He asked.

“Right,” Maggie said, “How dare he completely abandon the man he just danced with.”

Mon flashed her an angry look. 

“I was confused that night.” 

“And he’s probably confused right now. All he knows is that you two danced, connected, and then you ran away from him,” Alex said.

“I did not run away from him,” Mon corrected defensively.

“You kinda did,” Kara said.

“You definitely did,” Alex said.

“Dropped him like a rectal thermometer,” Maggie said.

Mon-El stomped away from his friends, heaving angrily as he walked to the elevator. Kara and Alex ran and joined him, the latter blowing a kiss to Maggie before arriving just as the doors were about to shut.

“I don’t wanna talk,” Mon told them.

“Yeah, we know, but we have to get to work too,” Kara said awkwardly.

…

Margot walked outside the building, the chill in the wind causing goosebumps to appear on her heavily exposed skin. She knew she probably should’ve worn something a bit warmer, but she wanted to retain at least one aspect of her normal style while in disguise. She hated how the wig itched against her scalp, or how her tattoos were hidden under mounds of concealer. As uncomfortable as her apparatus was, however, she was willing to power through it for the sake of her new friend. Her new friend, who was running after her. She turned around to face him, enjoying every bit of his panicked demeanor. She loved messing with anyone, but messing with someone as spastic and nervous as Winn was just a whole new level of fun.

“What the hell was that, Harley?” Winn asked her.

“Bravo!” Harley told him, no longer concealing her heavy accent. “I half-thought you’d be freaking out and soiling yourself.”

“Well I took an improv class once...it doesn’t matter! Why did you kiss me?”

“Are ya complainin’?” She asked him, sticking her tongue out seductively.

“I asked you to come here so you could anchor me to the ground, and stop me from falling for Mon-El, not to pretend to be my girlfriend!”

“I can help you cut him outta your life, but I can’t make anyone unfall in love, just like I can’t make anyone fall in love. It’s the Laws of Psychiatry: I can’t make people fall in love, change the past, or bring someone back from the dead.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure those are the laws of magic from Aladdin .”

“Really? Huh, wuddya know? Who needs med school?”

“Actual doctors,” He told her.

“Ouch,” she said, placing a hand on her chest before feeling her breasts for too long to have been passable as mock hurt, “ I can tell you’re only being this mean to me because I’m planning to keep you apart from Mon-El.”

“What are you talking about? I want you to keep me apart from him.” 

“Yeah, that’s what you say on the outside, but subconsciously you’re holding onto the tiny possibility that he might  _wuv_  you back. And if he does, you can’t be held back by some loony doctah.”

“Well that’s a very far fetched theory.”

“Most right ones are. And don’t worry, we had a deal: I keep you from running back to Mon-El, and you keep me from running back to Mistah J. This way, neither of us have to spend any more time on people who don’t love us.”

“So, just to be clear, he doesn’t love me, right? You didn’t pick up anything?” 

“What am I, a seismograph for gayness? Just scannin’ around, looking to see if he wants to bone you?”

“So that’s a no?”

“Course it’s a no! I mean, did you see the way he looked at me? There was such passion in his eyes.” 

“But just to be clear…” 

“Oh my god you’re pathetic!” She said, reaching into her purse. She pulled out a megaphone and held it up to her lips.

“Lemme spell it out for ya: THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL MON-EL IS IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!!!”

Those words alone could have hurt Winn like a bullet, but the added loudness made them ring in his ears, causing them to play on loop in his head. He plugged his ears, but the ringing remained.

“There, now get to work already! I got a place to sing at.”

“You know, for a supervillain, you sure have a great singing voice.” 

“Oh, thanks!” She said, her expression changing into a shy smile.

“ So, just quickly tell me what I have to do to stop myself from running back to him.”

“Ok. Numbah 1: When he’s training, keep your eyes glued to your tablet. Don’t look at him, it’ll make him uncomfortable now that he knows you have a crush on him. Numbah 2: Don’t eat lunch within 5.61 metres of him.” 

“5.61? That’s such a random number...”

“Numbah 3: Whatever you do, don’t hang out with him or contact him outside of training.”

“That’s gonna be hard- I’m always hanging out at Kara’s, and he lives there.” 

“Then let’s change that: don’t hang out with him unless I’m there to keep you tied to the ground.”

“Ok, I should be good to go.”

“Good luck!” She said as she walked away hurriedly. Ever since she moved to National City she had made a living off of singing at fancy events around town. It was the only legal thing she could do. She tried to be a barista, but the temptation to doodle crude images on the cup and mess up people’s names on purpose was too much. Acting within the law was a big enough step for her, she didn’t need to start acting responsibly. She walked a few more blocks before pulling off her wig and undoing her bun, allowing her platinum hair with pink and blue tips to shine in the sun. 

_“ Harley, can you hear me ?”_ A voice echoed in her head.

_“Hello?”_ She called out.

_“ Harley, listen to me, you’re making a huge mistake, girl !”_

_“ Don’t listen to her ,”_ Another, more professional sounding voice instructed her, _“ Listen to me; I’m the only reasonable voice in your head. ”_

_“ Says who ?”_

_“ Says my doctors license. Harley, you know I’m the part of you that’s actually a doctor. I studied the human brain extensively; I know what I’m talking about .”_

_“ You only studied the brain ‘cuz you were too boring to study other parts of the anatomy! ”_

The two voices argued, forcing her to punch herself in the head to shut them up.

“What are you two fighting about?” She asked them, earning a few judgmental stares from passer-bys. She stuck her tongue out at them, and then returned to her inner world.

_“ Mon-El is totally in love with Winn, dummy !”_

_“ That is too big of an assumption .”_

_“ No it’s not! You said it yourself, Harley; there was passion in his eyes when he saw you make out with Winn .”_

“Yeah, because he wants me to tickle his pickle like everyone else!”

_“ No, because he’s jealous of you! He wants Winn to tickle his pickle !”_

_“ For the love of God, stop saying ‘tickle his pickle’ !"_ The voice of Dr. Quinzel yelled. _“ Even if there is a chance he loves Winn, we mustn't say anything . Imagine if we tell him that Mon-El loves him, and then he gets excited and tries to make a move on him, and we’re wrong. He’ll get his heart broken again.”_

_“ Not twue! Mon-El would nevah break his heart! Just like Puddin’ would nevah break ours! ”_

“ _Do you see what I’m trying to say, Harley? Don’t listen to her! She would have you run back to the Joker again. Listen to me: even if Mon-El feels the same way, which now that I think about it is most likely the case- ”_

_“ HA! Told ya! ”_

_“ We cannot tell Winn. We thought the Joker loved us, but he didn’t, which means that our judgment is not at its finest. If we get Winn’s hopes up, the results could be catastrophic! We must wait until we have done enough psychoanalysis before we share our hypothesis with anyone. Agreed?”_

_“Yeah, yeah.”_

“Agreed.” Harley said, nervously biting her nails; she had forgotten how stressful playing psychiatrist was. She looked around, and noticed she had arrived at her venue. She walked into the bathroom and washed the concealer off her face, letting the world see her tattooed and bleached skin. She pulled off her clothes, which were way too revealing for anyone to be wearing in the winter, but she wasn’t about to let a little cold stop her from looking her best. She put on a nice dress, and then messily applied her lipstick and eyeshadow. She stepped outside, her tight dress earning a few stares from people in the room. Just another day at work for the one, the only, the infamous Harley Quinn.

…

Winn stepped out of the elevator, as if the floors of his workplace were made of razor thin ice. He tiptoed his way to his desk and slowly sat down on his chair as he got ready to check his schedule. He knew what he had to do first, but he hoped that somehow the universe had stepped in to change that. He shut his eyes as he placed his schedule in front of his face. He slowly opened them, looking at everything but what he had first. He always knew that Lena’s gala was going to be painful for him, but he never realized just how much. He knew that coming into work after his dance with Mon-El was a bad idea, that Mon-El was going to act awkwardly around him. Could you blame him? All he wanted was a normal, platonic dance with his friend, and there Winn went trying to kiss him. Poor Mon. He had even told Winn how on Daxam everyone had to dance with everyone at a party, so why did he make a move on him? Was it because he couldn't help but think that Mon felt the same way? During that dance it had seemed as if they were one entity, both of them able to feel each other's feelings and see each other's thoughts. Obviously, that wasn't the case, since Mon clearly had no interest in Winn. Although, even if things were going to be awkward today, surely things would change with time. This wasn't Winn’s first time falling for a friend; he knew the drill. The only difference was that this time there was the added awkwardness of sexuality coming into play. No matter; whether it was boy on girl or boy on boy, Winn knew how to deal with unrequited love. And if he ever got the urge to either hang out with or make a move on Mon ever again...well, that's why he had Harley Quinn. He did feel bad about lying to Kara and company about who she was and how they met (and their relationship, but that wasn't his fault), but he knew that Kara’s burning desire to do what was right would probably force her to turn Harley in. Anyways, back to the more pressing matter: his job. He finally fully opened his eyes, and saw his schedule, where sure enough it confirmed his suspicions: it was time for training with Mon. He stood up, corrected his posture and headed to the training room, where his  _friend_ waited for him.

…

Mon-El slammed his fists against the metal block, letting out all his anger and frustration on its dented steel surface. As he punched, he thought about how much he hated the thoughts inside him that made him leave Winn that night. It was all their fault this was happening. If it weren’t for them, he would’ve already been Winn’s mate. He thought about how he spent the past few days thinking non-stop about Winn, and how pointless it all was. He thought about how that obnoxious brat in the lab coat with the objectively gorgeous face winked at him, and how she was going to be the one to pull Winn closer at night. Above all, he thought about Winn’s smile. His laugh. His energy. All those things used to lift him off the ground. Now, they just made him feel like shit. His thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door. Inside stepped his friend. Nothing more, nothing less. 

“Hey,” Winn managed.

“Hey,” Mon replied, his eyes big and sad and his voice on the edge of cracking.

Winn walked towards him cautiously. The atmosphere was so dark and dreary it would have made Zack Snyder green with envy. 

“So,” Winn began, and forgot what he was supposed to say after.

“So,” Mon-El replied, before a thought popped into his head: he was from Daxam, a planet of careless partiers. He wasn’t about to be bogged down by some nerd. He shook himself like a dog, and refreshed his brain.

“So, Dr. Robbie: how the hell did you manage that?” He asked Winn jokingly, before patting him on the back.

“Well, you know, we’re both into science and stuff, so…”

“Dude, I don’t even think I could have a chance with a woman like that. Did you see her? She’s...how do you say...smokin’?” 

Winn laughed, and that seemed to ease him into the conversation. 

“So, what do you wanna work on today?” 

“Oh, you know, anything to keep me jacked, as you say.”

“Don’t get too hot on me now, wouldn't want Harley - Margot running off with you,” Winn joked playfully, and Mon smiled. He wasn't lying; he really was attracted to Margot. And if talking about her was a way to keep Winn talking to him, even better.

“I'm really happy we're still friends,” He told Winn as he got ready to bench press. His strength wasn’t the only thing he was testing. “You know...because of Friday...when we...and then you…”

“It was a mistake,” Winn told him. “I totally regret it, and I'm just happy you're not running for the hills.”

“Who would ever willingly do that?” Mon asked him. Winn blushed, but then Mon finished his sentence. “I haven't seen one around, they must be extremely far away.”

“Of course.” Winn said under his breath.

...

All morning Winn was forced to watch Mon lift weights, do push ups, and perform other arousing tasks. Winn followed Harley's advice, and kept his eyes focused on the tablet. This was really, really hard for him; Mon was working out so much it felt as if he was actually trying to get Winn to fall for him. Winn tried not to notice the way Mon’s muscles bulged under his tight shirt as he worked out, or how sweat trickled down his demigod-like body. Or how he smiled whenever Winn told him he was doing something right, or how his eyes opened wide whenever Winn explained a new term to him. Despite this, Winn couldn’t help but notice that Mon’s voice had a hint of sadness.  _Is he upset I'm not looking at him? No, that's impossible,_ Winn thought. He continued to stare down at his tablet, and Mon continued to stare at Winn. Winn really wanted to see Mon, to have their eyes lock for even for a moment.  _I can't ,_ Winn thought to himself.  _He doesn't love me. I'm imagining things._ The tablet in his hands vibrated, signifying that training was done.

“Training’s over,” He said as he headed for the door and left the room.

“Winn…” Mon started, but his voice was weak, as if it were choking on tears he was trying not to let out. Winn felt awful as he walked back to his desk. He should have felt proud that he didn't give in to the temptation to look at Mon. For some reason, he didn't.  _First time’s the hardest ,_ he thought.

…

“I don't know what to do, Kara,” Mon-El told her as he paced in the living room, “He barely talks to me in training and whenever I try to make plans with him, he says he's busy.”

“Just give him some time, like I said,” Kara told him before stuffing her face with a nacho.

“ You told me that when I didn't know I loved him. Now I do.”

“Well forgive Winn for not coordinating his feelings with yours.”

“I’m pretty sure this has something to do with that doctor he’s seeing. That hot, smart, doctor he’s seeing.”

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were jealous.” 

Mon laughed.

“Me? Jealous? Why would I be jealous of her?”

“Because she’s getting it on with Winn.”

Mon clenched his fist.

“Look, I’m sorry things didn’t go like you hoped they would. I really wanted you two to be happy. Unfortunately, life always has other plans.”

“You’re taking this very well,” He said suspiciously.

“Well like you said, I was burying myself in your relationship because I was scared of going out with Lena. But now that we’re together, I no longer need to unhealthily obsess over your love life.”

“So you don’t think his girlfriend is suspicious?” 

“Margot? No, of course not.” 

“You don’t think it’s weird that as soon as I stop dancing with him he finds a mate?” 

“ If you’re suggesting that they’re lying about how they met, that’s insane. J’onn even told me about Winn’s assignment in Gotham, and how Margot is a friend of the DEO.” 

“You know, a few days ago when I was face to face with the meddling, obsessive version of you I was really, really irritated but now I kinda miss that bitch.”

“Hey! What did we say? Don't use that word! I don't care how upset you are. Not about me, not about Margot, not about anyone.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mon pouted.

“Now come help me set up; James, Alex, and Maggie will be here any minute now. Aren’t you excited to see them at least?”

“How can I be excited to see them when the one person I wanna see won’t be here?” 

“Hurtful,” Kara muttered, and then got an idea. She grabbed her phone and dialed Winn’s number.

“What are you doing?” Mon asked her.

“Calling Winn; I'm gonna invite him to come over.”

“I tried; he said he's busy.”

“I'm adding in one minor change.”

…

“I don't know what to do, Harley,” Winn said.

“Bullshit,” She told him. “You know exactly what you have to do, you just don't want to do it.”

“Is cutting him out of my life really the only option?”

“Yup. Ya think I just call up Mistah J and ask him to paint my nails and braid my hair? No!”

“There's a big difference between Mon-El and the Joker. First of all we were never together, and second of all he never hurt me.”

“Maybe not physically, but certainly emotionally, even if it wasn’t on purpose.”

Harley put on her best therapist voice and tried to break through to Winn.

“Look, I know it's hard when we find out the people we love don't love us back. But we're strong and independent; we don't need anyone else.”

“He even comments on how hot you are. Like, he keeps bringing it up just to remind me he's straight. Ugh, it's so frustrating!”

“What can I tell ya, Winn, he's just not into guys. Soonah you accept it, soonah you'll be happy.”

Winn was about to speak but was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He picked it up; Kara was calling him.

“Hey,” He answered.

“Hey, so I wanted to know if you maybe wanna come over tonight?”

“Yeah, sorry, like I told Mon-El…”

“I wanted to invite Margot too.”

“You did?” Winn said, looking at the unstable, insane woman sitting across from him.

“Yeah, I really wanna get to know her.”

“Um…okay. Sure, why not?”

“Great! Do you mind bringing some soda?”

“Not at all.”

“See you at 7?”

“Sounds perfect. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Winn hung up, and looked at Harley.

“So…”

“Kara invited us both over cuz she says she really wants to get to know me and she asked you to bring soda and to come at around 7.”

Winn looked at her, half astonished and half terrified. She looked at him and rolled her eyes.

“Sane people are so predictable.”

“Does that mean we can go?” Winn asked hopefully.

“Yeah, yeah, just let me put on my boring clothes.”

Winn ran to the mirror and combed his hair while Harley picked out the best outfit to convince people she was normal. Winn ran to his room and tried on 3 different pairs of pants to see which ones flattered him best.

“I really hope you’re not gettin’ so dolled up so you can impress Mon-El!” Harley yelled as she applied her concealer and put on her wig.

“What-me? No, of course not.”

“Good.” 

“Well, maybe just a bit if I’m being completely honest.”

“Less good.”

…

“Wow. I'm impressed, Mon,” Kara began. “I thought you'd be freaking out about Winn coming over.”

Mon unplugged his ears, returning to the world of sound just in time to have heard Kara.

“Winn's coming over?”

“Uh-huh. So is Margot though…”

Mon made a superhuman dash to the bathroom and combed his hair. He ran to his bedroom and tried on ten different shirts to see which one flattered him the best.

“I hope you’re not gonna make a move on Winn.”

“I’m sorry, me? I’m completely innocent! I’m not at all trying to get him to notice me.”

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next one are a bit Quinn-centric in some places, but I made it like that cuz I need to explain what she's been up to until now so it's clear as to why she's doing the things she's doing. This story is definitely still a Supergirl fic, though. Harley has a reason for being in this story, which I don't really wanna say cuz I don't wanna give too much away. Let me know what you guys think in the comments below, and stand by for the next chapter if you're still interested.


	6. The One Without a Musical Number Part 2

“Winn!” Kara exclaimed as she hugged him. Winn hugged her back; he hadn't seen much of her since Lena’s gala, and was glad to finally have an evening of his best friend’s company.

“How've you been?” He asked her.

“Great, just busy with all the bad guys roaming the city.”

A mischievous smile crept onto Harley's face.

“Sorry,” she said,“It’s just such an honour to meet Supergirl!”

Kara flashed Winn an angry look, which Harley immediately detected.

“Oh, don't worry, Winn didn't rat you out; I'm a friend of the DEO, remember? Of course I know Kara Danvers is Kara Zor-El.”

Winn chuckled; damn she was good at covering her tracks. It should have alarmed him, but instead it made him feel a bit more secure that she was the one guarding his secrets. While Harley and Kara talked, he walked around the room, looking to see if a certain tall Daxamite was going to join them for the night.  _He’s not here_ , Winn thought, not sure if he was supposed to be relieved or disappointed. 

“Hey,” An earnest, masculine voice caught Winn off guard.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to...” Mon began apologetically.

“No, it’s okay. You just...surprised me.”

“I thought you were busy tonight.”

Winn panicked as he scrambled to think of an excuse.

“I was...until Kara invited Margot. Of course she wanted to get to know my friends so she insisted we cancel our reservations and join you guys tonight.”  
By reservations Winn really meant arguing over what movie to watch on Netflix. Living with a normal roommate is hard, living with a psychotic one who knows all your deepest darkest secrets is a whole new game.

“Well I’m glad you could make it,” Mon said. “Do you wanna go sit down? I think Kara said the guy of pizza is coming soon.”

“Sure,” Winn told him, as Harley mouthed, “Know what you’re doing” from across the room.

...

“So, Margot,” Kara began once everyone sat down, “You’re from Gotham City, right?”

“Yes siree!” Harley said, but then realized something more normal-sounding would fit her personna best. “Yes.”

“What’s it like? My cousin went once; said it was rough.”

“Oh, it’s not so bad! Just gotta...learn to embrace it, that’s all.”

“I’m going on business,” James started, “Any tips?”

“Stay away from the amusement park. And the port. And the botanical garden. And the animal shelter.”

“Anything nice in Gotham?” Maggie asked, scared for her friend.

“The amusement park...and the port.” She began, and thought. “And the botanical garden. But not the animal shelter; you might run into some hyenas I pissed off.”

James laughed, and was joined by everyone at the table.

“But seriously though stay the hell away from those places. In fact just stay outta Gotham in general. Just facetime whichever rich businessman you’re supposed to be meeting with.”

“I think I can handle myself,” James said with a small laugh.

“Not against clowns, you can’t.”

“Speaking of clowns,” Kara said to Alex and Maggie, “Any news on who that crazy psycho with the baseball bat was?”

Winn jerked his head towards Harley so fast his neck almost snapped. Apparently she was a bit too good at keeping secrets.

“Yeah, she’s from Gotham. Goes by the name ‘Harley Quinn’,” Maggie said.

“You know, I used to work with her at Arkham,” Harley said as Winn’s eyes bored into her.

“She was your patient?” Alex asked.

“No, she was a psychiatrist like me.”

“Anything you can tell us about her?” Kara asked.

“Stay away,” Harley said, sipping her wine as Winn pretended to cough.

“Are you okay?” Mon asked him.

“Yeah, I’m fine; I just need to get some fresh air. Margot, could you join me?” He asked Harley.

“Uh-huh,” She said, like a naughty child being called down to the principal’s office. In fact, that was a role she had frequently played at Joker’s club, something that she insisted on telling Winn about in many graphic details. She excused herself, and joined Winn on the balcony. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Winn asked her, panic and alarm in his voice.

“So, so many things,” Harley told him.

“I'm being serious; when were you going to tell me that you were, I don’t know, wreaking havoc all over National City?”

“With a little luck, nevah. And I wasn't exactly raisin’ hell on Earth.”

“Then why did Kara come after you?”

“She started it! I was just mindin’ my own business and she comes along and smacks me around!”

“I find that very hard to believe.”

“That's cuz you always take her side!”

“She's my friend!”

“Yeah, and whattami?! Ammi just a tool to ya?”

“Harley-”

“Just your anchor to keep you from runnin’ back to Mon-El?”

“Harley-”

“Or maybe just someone you keep around to remind you your life isn't that much of a trainwreck? Huh? Someone you could look at and say ‘Now there’s someone whose life is in the toilet. Glad I'm not that messed up’.Yeah, well, it's not like  _I_ have a serial-killer father, low-self esteem, and a knack for falling in love with gorgeous aliens who would never in a million years love me back!”

Her words were tearing him apart, making him feel more and more worthless by the sentence. The worst part was that, deep down, he knew it was probably all true. 

“Now say somin’ ‘bout me.”

“Excuse me?” Winn asked, choking back tears.

“You heard me; it's your turn! Say somethin’ about how fucked up I am, or how I'm an absolutely worthless piece of shit who will always keep runnin’ back to her dickhead of a boyfriend! Come on! It's not exactly like you’ve got a lack of material to work with!”

Winn paused for a second, realizing why Harley was being so hard on him.

“Why did Kara come after you?” He asked.

“I told ya; it was outta the blue-”

“Harley.”

She sighed, knowing there was no evading him.

“I ran into one of Mistah J’s goons; he was sent ta take me back ta Gotham.”

“Wait- Joker wants you back?”

Harley paused.

“He wants to own me again.”

Winn was paralyzed, not sure how to handle this situation. He connected with Harley through unrequited love, but he knew that her situation was a bit different.

“The fella he sent told me that J wouldn't even need to send someone after me. That I would run back just as I always do. That it's the only thing I know how to do.”

Harley’s eyes filled with tears.

“You killed him- the goon, I mean,” Winn said, “To send a message to the Joker.”

Harley nodded.

“I swear to God if this is one of your therapist ways of trying to manipulate me…”

Harley wrapped her arms around Winn, pulling him into a tight, warm embrace, and burying her head in his shoulders as she let out all her tears. She wiped her nose on Winn’s shirt and let go, before reapplying her makeup so Winn’s friends wouldn’t see random streaks of pale skin on her face.

“Do you wanna go home?” Winn asked.

“No, definitely not,” Harley told him. “Come on, let’s head back inside.”

...

She grabbed his hand and led him back inside, where the room was engulfed in an awkward silence. Clearly, everyone had heard them fighting. No one was arresting anyone, so Winn knew that they couldn’t have made out just what either of them were saying.

“What’s everyone so serious about?” Harley asked with a smile as she sat down.

“But... you two were just...you were just…” Mon started,  “I mean weren’t you…”

“It was nuttin’,” Harley said, looking to Winn. “Nuttin’ more than a lovers’ spat.”

“Ssss...Right.” Winn said, exchanging a look with Harley to confirm that “lover” was code for friend. Mon repeatedly stabbed his pizza with his knife, practically gutting it.

“Oh, Mon-El,” Kara began, sounding as if she were attempting to cover his tracks for him, “That’s not how you’re supposed to eat pizza, silly!”

“Right,” He said, and looked down at the slice of food on his plate. He turned the plate in a circle, and examined the slab from all ends. He stabbed it with his fork, and tried to eat it like it was a fire-roasted marshmellow.

“You can just pick it up,” Winn said to him.

Mon removed the fork from his pizza as he scanned his dinner, trying to determine the best place to pick it up from.

“The crust,” Winn hinted, “You pick it up from the crust.”

Mon looked at the crust, wonder growing in his blue eyes. 

“This is so convenient!” He exclaimed as he finally figured out how to eat his meal.

“I know right!” Winn exclaimed. “I think crust gets a bad rep.”

“Yeah, that's because it's the worst part of the pizza,” Kara said.

Harley rolled her eyes and Winn could’ve sworn he heard her muttering, “Are normal people so boring that I’m actually witnessing a debate about fucking pizza crust?”

“I'm with Kara on this one,” Maggie said, “I mean, crust is so boring that people had to stuff it to make it more interesting.”

“Forget pizza,” Alex said as she groaned, “The day stuffed crust was invented was a dark day for humanity all together.”

“Well it has to be stuffed sometimes!” Winn defended, “Or else there's just a void in it.”

Harley grinned.

“What about you, Margot?” James asked her, clearly trying to get to know his friend’s lover better, “Where do you stand on stuffed crust?”

“Me?” Harley asked, debating whether or not to say what was on her mind. “Well, personally I kinda like it.”

“Thank-you.” Winn said.

“But… I kinda feel like whoever invented it just wanted to see something of his stuffed in a hole for once in his life.”

Kara choked on her drink, and James blushed. Alex’s jaw dropped, while Maggie began to look at Harley suspiciously. Mon laughed, his handsome face turning pomegranate red. Harley bit her lip and smirked with the satisfaction of knowing that she had amused someone so much.

…

 

After dinner everyone helped bring their plates to the kitchen sink while Kara checked the schedule on the dishwasher. Harley looked at it curiously.

“What’s that?” Harley asked her.

“Oh, this?” Kara asked back, pointing to the schedule. “This is a calendar that tells us who's doing dishes when.”

“You have a schedule for that?”

“Well yeah; how else would we keep track?”  Kara asked. She found the day’s date on the schedule and checked to see who was washing the dishes. The way it worked was that every week was a different person’s week, and that person had the right to choose anyone they wanted to help them. 

“Oh, Winn!” Kara called out teasingly. “It’s your turn!”

“Aw, man!” Winn whined.

“Who do you want to help you?”

Winn looked around, the  _Jaws_  theme song playing in his head.

“I choose…”

He eyed Mon-El in the corner, all by himself with a pensive look in his puppy eyes. It was a good look on him.

“Mon-El.”

Mon awakened from his thoughts at the sound of Winn’s voice. 

“Me?” He asked, his voice joyful until he processed what he was being told to do. “Aw, me!” 

“I could choose someone else…” Winn began nervously, wishing he'd just asked Kara or James to help him. 

“No!” Mon yelled. The room was dead silent for a good ten seconds until Mon spoke up again.

“I mean, no it's ok I'll help you. It's not like I'm desperate to spend time with you or anything.”

“Good,” Winn said, slightly hurt, “Me neither. I just need someone who's strong enough…to scrub the dishes.” He face palmed at his stupid-ass excuse for wanting to be alone with Mon.  _Why am I doing this?_ Winn asked himself as Harley and Kara left the room,  _I should be trying to get away from Mon-El, not trying to spend time with him._ All his thoughts were silenced as Mon stood next to him, his signature cocky attitude reentering Winn’s life.

“I gotta say,” Mon started, “Margot is actually pretty awe-and-some.”

Winn sighed.

“Dude, how many times to I have to tell you it's just ‘awesome’. No ‘and’.”

“Oh, I know.”

“You do? Then why do you keep saying it wrong?”

“Hmmm, let me see…” Mon said as he pretended to think deeply, “maybe I just like to tease you.”

Winn let out a small giggle as he washed the dishes. Mon reached for the soap but Winn grabbed it first.

“Gotta be faster than that, ‘of Daxam’.”

“Oh, is that a challenge?”

“What? No; that would imply we both have equal chances of winning.”

Mon laughed, and then realized Winn wasn’t joking.

“You’re serious? You honestly think you're faster than me?”

“Well when it comes to sprints maybe not, but in terms of dishwashing hell yeah.”

“I could beat you at anything, even without my powers,” Mon told him arrogantly.

“Wanna bet?” Winn asked playfully.

“If you wanna lose,” Mon responded playfully. Was it just Winn or was there a hint of flirtation in his voice?

“Name your price,” Winn said, “and it can't have anything to do with Margot, okay? I'm not a fuckboi or a human trafficker.”

“Agreed; let’s keep it classy.” Mon said, looking as if he were making a mental note to ask Kara what a “fuckboi” was. 

“How about if I win,” Winn started,  “you have to stop combing your hair for a week and if you win…”

“Just stop; I’m not not combing my hair. Okay? That’s never going to happen. I don’t just wake up like this.”

“Well, if it’ll be so easy to beat me, then what’s the harm?”

Mon thought for a moment, and then agreed.

“What do you want if you win?” Winn asked him.

Mon thought carefully.

“Let’s just say I’m keeping my cards close to my chest,” Mon told him.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Winn protested, “You could ask for anything!”

“Well, if it’ll be so easy to beat me, then what’s the harm?” Mon teased.

Winn laughed.

“Fair point.”

Winn checked to make sure they each had the same amount of dishes before grabbing his sponge.

“Ready, set, go!”

Mon grabbed the soap and squirted it onto his sponge; Winn, however, had already done so, and  was already done one dish. He looked at Mon and smirked teasingly as he put his sparkling dish on the drying rack. Mon took his sponge and waved it over a plate, only slightly wetting it, and put it on the rack. Winn, whose eyes were carefully watching Mon’s every move, immediately took notice.

“Hey! No cheating!” he said.

“How are you so good at this?” Mon asked him, struggling to scrub the remnants of sauce and cheese off his first plate while Winn already had only 2 left.

“That’s foster care for you.”

Mon paused.

“What?” He asked him.

“Yeah,” Winn said, his mind still deep in playful competition and his eyes still fixated on washing his dishes, “At every orphanage I went to I had to wash my own plates and cups. Over time I got really good at it.”

“I’m so sorry,” Mon told him sincerely, his blue eyes shiny and sorrowful.

“Why? It was no big deal,” Winn said.

“Your parents dying?” Mon asked him.

“What - oh, the part about me being in foster care, not the part about me washing dishes,” Winn clarified to himself, “I never told you?”

Mon shook his head.

“How’d they die?”

“They didn’t,” Winn said as he faced Mon, his voice getting a little chokey, “My dad went to prison and my mom ran off.” 

He cleared his throat as he struggled to keep his tears behind his eyelids.  _God, I must look so weak to him_ , Winn thought.

“My parents died,” Mon-El told him, “On Daxam. With the rest of my kind.”

“Yeah,” Winn said, “I figured.”

“I’m not trying to make it into a competition or anything…”

“No, yeah, I understand.”

“I was just wondering…” Mon said, but then stopped.

“What?” Winn asked gently.

“Does…” Mon began, “Does it ever go away? Missing your parents, I mean.”

Winn thought for a moment.

“Depends on whether or not you ever wanted to see them again.”

Mon looked at Winn, a strange change coming over him.

“Winn, I am so sorry for leaving you.”

“When?”

“After our dance. At Lena’s party. I would never have done it if I had known about…” Mon said spastically.

“It’s okay. It really is.” Winn reassured. “I mean, would I have appreciated you explaining why? Sure. But it really doesn’t matter. What would you have said anyways?" Winn put on his best impression of Mon-El as he continued speaking." ‘Hey, sorry don’t kiss me because I’m straight, way out of your league, and absolutely do not feel the same way…”

“I couldn’t say that,” Mon-El said quickly, confusing Winn.

“What-what...why not?” He stuttered.

Mon sighed and rubbed his face.

“Oh, you’re going to be so awkward around me,” He told him, and then paused before explaining. “That night, when you leaned in to kiss me...I didn’t leave because I didn’t feel the same way. I left because I was scared that I did.”

Now was the part where Winn usually started spurting out the 5 W’s like a drunken fire hose, but he said nothing. Mon stood there, looking expectantly.

“I- I didn’t even know you were into guys,” Winn finally managed.

“Neither did I,” Mon said with a small laugh, “ It’s funny; you made me realize I could want something other than just fun. You opened up spaces inside of me, spaces I never even knew existed. You lit up rooms I didn’t realize were dark. And now, because of you, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.” The way he said that last part made it sound like a half-truth, as if there was still something missing in his life.

“You awakened me,” Mon told him; Winn knew what he meant, but apparently Mon felt the need to clarify. “Sexually, I mean.”

“No, no that was very clear.” Winn said awkwardly;  he never thought anyone would say something like that about him, much less an adorable alien like Mon-El.

“So, I guess what I’m trying to say is ‘sorry’. And ‘thank-you’,” Mon concluded with a small, sincere smile and a nod of his head. Winn pinched himself, trying to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Or drugged. Or both. 

“Hey, guys! Wanna play  _Trouble_?” Kara asked as she and Harley walked up to them, and then looked at the dirty plates still in their hands. “Wait- you guys aren’t finished yet?”

Winn looked at Mon sympathetically, and set down his plate in the sink, waving the white-flag of surrender. Mon looked back at him and did the same.

“K I’m sure that meant somethin’ real sweet to you guys but you still gotta wash ‘em,” Harley said.

“Right,” Winn said, and he and Mon proceeded to wash their plates.  They looked straight ahead, trying not to look at each other. Once they had finished washing their plates, they each placed them on the rack at the exact same time. As they headed towards the rest of their fiends, Winn called, "Hey Mon El!"

“Uh-huh,” Mon responded as he turned to face Winn.

“If you had won,” he began, “what would you have asked for?”

Mon thought to himself, seemingly a bit embarrassed by his answer.

“To tell you the truth,” Mon started, “I would’ve asked for more moments like this. I’m probably way off here, but all week I kept feeling like you were ignoring me. It was driving me crazy.”

“Really?” Winn asked him.

“Yeah, but don’t worry; I’m not in love with you or anything anymore.”

“Good to know, because I am definitely not in love with you anymore,” Winn lied, “Just passing feelings.” 

“Just passing feelings,” Mon said back. 

“Probably just because of all our training sessions together-”

“- All of the training sessions…”

“...Or because of Halloween or all the other nights we hung out-”

“- All of the hanging out…”

“...Or because of all the times I saw you shirtless-”

“- You’re welcome for those, by the way.”

Winn smiled, and Mon laughed.

“Still friends?” Mon asked, smiling hopefully.

“Still friends,” Winn said, his special moment with Mon being interrupted by a realization.“Wait- what game did Kara say we’re playing?” 

“Um...something about trouble?”

Winn made a dash to the centre of the living room, where Kara was setting up the board game. Alex was rubbing her hands with delight, while James was biting his nails in pure terror.

“Kara Zor-El, drop the board game!” Winn called out.

“Shit!” Kara exclaimed.

“What’s going on?” Harley asked.

“We made it a rule to never again play  _Trouble_ ; Kara gets way too crazy,” James said.

“Oooh!” Harley exclaimed.

“No! Not ‘ooohh’!” James exclaimed; by that point in the evening it was clear that Harley made him very uncomfortable.

“I'm shutting you down,” Winn said as he began to put the board game back in it’s box.

“Oh, come on!” Alex said. “Crazy Kara is even more fun than Drunk Kara.”

“I didn't even think that was possible,” Mon said excitedly.

“It'll be Mon-El’s first time playing,” Kara reminded Winn.

Winn took a moment or two to think.

“Oh, alright,” Winn grumbled, to which Kara and Harley cheered.

“I love  _Trouble_ ,” Harley said, “My friends and I used to play it all the time; we got so wasted!”

“Why would you have gotten drunk?” Maggie asked her.

“Well we played  _Twisted Trouble_ ,” She explained.

“What the hell is  _Twisted Trouble?_ ” James asked, horrified.

“It's the version where whenever someone gets eaten they gotta do a shot.” 

“Yeah, that’s not a thing…” James started.

“Who cares? I wanna do that!” Maggie exclaimed.

“Me too!” Alex said.

“People get eaten in this game?” Mon asked, concern in his voice.

“No, not exactly. Winn, could you explain the rules to him?” Kara asked.

“I'm more of a learn-as-I-go kinda person,” Mon said.

“Alright, then; let's get started!” Kara said excitedly as she brought shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey to the coffee table. “Time to pick teams!” 

“Why do we need teams?” Mon asked.

“There are four colours, and usually six of us, so we pair up,” Winn explained. “The only problem is that tonight we’re seven. Does anyone wanna play solo or be in a group of three?”

“It's ok; I plan to sit this one out,” James said, “unlike some people here I can't show up to work hungover.”

“Ok,” Kara said, “so who wants to go with who?”

“Winn!” Mon-El exclaimed as he grabbed his hand.

“Mon-El!” Winn exclaimed as he turned to Mon.

“I'm with Kara!” Harley exclaimed.

“No!” Alex cried.

“What's the matter,” Maggie asked her girlfriend, “Crazy Kara isn't as fun when she's not on your team?”

“It's ok,” Alex said to herself, “We can get through this without her.”

“We’re so screwed,” Maggie said.

“Definitely,” Alex said.

…

“No, please don't!” Winn complained to Kara as she landed on the same spot as him.

“Sorry,” Kara said as she removed Winn’s pawn from the board, “I take no prisoners.”

“Come on!” Winn whinned.

“We were so close to winning - I think,” Mon said.

“You have to get all four pawns in the safe zone in order to win,” Winn explained, “We would've had one if Kara didn't just eat us.”

“Really?” Mon asked, disappointed and frustrated, “But that's not fair! You already have 3 in yours; you didn't need to eat us!”

“Do you see why I don't like playing this?!” James yelled, downing a shot. Margot had made it a rule that whoever sits out had to take a shot whenever  _anyone_  got eaten, and there was no point in protesting against her. 

“I don't like this game,” Mon pouted, like a little boy whose ice cream had melted.

“Oh, come on!” Margot said, “It’s all in good fun! Now, be a doll and drink up.”

Mon reluctantly filled his shot glass and drank.

“It's your turn, Winn,” Kara said, as Winn squirmed in his spot, trying to see the board.

“Okay,” Winn said to Mon, getting ready to explain the situation they were in, 

“So all of our pawns except one are back at our base. If we roll five we can take out Kara’s pawn. If we roll a one or a six, we’ll have to chose between moving the one we have out or taking a new one out. What do you think?”

Mon listened to Winn and immediately felt himself calm. Winn seemed to have this power over him, as if simply listening to him could instantly put him at ease. It should have scared him, but weirdly it didn’t. What scared him was how he didn’t know when or if he would ever have a night like this ever again, a night where he and Winn could just talk. A night where, for even a moment, he could pretend like Winn was his.

“Are you okay?” Winn asked him, causing him to jar.

“Yeah, fine,” Mon responded.

“Don’t worry; we can still win,” Winn reassured.  _Does he really think I’m upset about the game?_ Mon thought. He forced a smile for Winn’s sake, but his eyes stayed sad.

…

Mon-El’s forced smile and melancholy behaviour were all Harley needed to confirm her suspicions.

“ _Their feelings for each other could not be more clear; I believe this is all the evidence we need,_ ” the voice of Dr. Quinzel told Harley.

“ _Hooray!_ ” A voice screamed.

“ _Great,_ ” Harley thought excitedly, “ _Now all I gotta do is tell Winn and BAM! They’ll be togethah forevah!_ ”

_“So we’re not still tryina keep ‘em apart?”_

“ _We only wanted them apart to keep Winn from getting hurt,_ ” The voice of Dr. Quinzel said, “ _But now that we know that Mon-El likes him back, we should divert our efforts to helping them realize their feelings for each other._ ”

“ _Can we tell Winn now? Can we, pretty, pretty, pretty please?_ ” 

“ _Now, now; let’s not make a scene,_ ” Dr. Quinzel said, “ _We can do it once we get home; there’s no need to rush._ ”

“ _Makes sense to me,_ ” Harley thought as Maggie bumped into her, spilling a small amount of her drink on her forearm.

“Oh my God,” Maggie began apologetically, “I am so sorry!”

“It’s fine. No biggie,” Harley said, as Maggie analyzed her; the spilled drink had washed off some of her concealer, revealing a red and black diamond pattern on her unnaturally pale skin. Harley put her arm behind her back quickly, hoping Maggie wouldn’t notice. As soon as Maggie walked off to get some towels Harley went into the bathroom and shut the door.

“ _Shit!_ ” A voice exclaimed.

“ _Maybe she didn’t recognize the tattoo?_

“ _Maybe she didn’t recognize the tattoo of our logo?!_ ” The voice of Dr. Quinzel asked passive-aggressively.

...

“Hey,” Maggie began as she turned to face the rest of the group, “This was really fun, but I think I’ve gotta go.”

“What? You’re gonna leave me here to fight for myself?” Alex asked; she and Maggie had two pawns in their safe zone, but that only meant Margot and Kara were going to come after them with even less mercy.

“Actually, I think you should come too, Alex,” Maggie said.

“Oh, okay, I guess,” Alex said as she stood up and grabbed her coat.

“I’m out too,” James said as he got ready to leave, a look of pure regret and hatred for life in his eyes.

“Bye!” Kara called out as they all left. Mon-El didn’t bother to say goodbye; he was too busy listening to Winn whisper about their game.

“Remember, we need to roll a 5 to take out Kara’s leading pawn,” Winn told him. 

“Okay,” Mon said to himself nervously as his hand wavered above the Pop-O-Matic. 

“Five, five, five…” Winn prayed as Mon gently pushed down. Unfortunately, Mon was stressed out about impressing Winn, so his “gentle” push split the board game in half.

“Ooops,” Mon said sheepishly, and turned to Kara, “Sorry.”  

“It’s okay,” Kara said surprisingly calmly, “Happens to me all the time.” 

She got up and wrote “Replace  _Trouble_ ” on her to-do list. 

“Well this was fun!” Kara said cheerfully.

“Yup! We should definitely do it again sometime,” Margot said as she left the bathroom. She grabbed her coat as Mon turned his head to Winn, sad and frightened and trying to savour every last second of his friend’s company. 

“Do you really have to go?” Mon asked him.

“Oh yeah, definitely,” Margot said, “I still got some unpacking to do.”

“Can’t you do it in the morning?” He asked, a bit passive aggressively. 

“It’s okay, dude,” Winn said to him.

“Well, when will I see you next?” He asked him; for some reason Winn’s voice wasn’t calming him down.

“Monday,” Winn said.

“Monday?” Mon asked panickedly.

“I could get a head start if you two need more time to say goodbye,” Margot suggested.

“No, it’s okay,” Winn said as he got up and grabbed his coat.

“Bye guys!” Kara called out as her friend left her apartment.

“Bye, Kara!” Winn called back.

“Bye, Winn!” Mon called out, but by the time he got the words out his friend was already gone. He sat down on the couch. 

“Not again,” he said to himself, his head dropping as Kara closed the door. 

“Mon-El…” Kara began sympathetically.

“Just don't,” he told her, “Okay? Don't pretend to know what I'm going through.”

“As you wish,” Kara said before walking away from him. He felt bad for pushing her away, but he was in no mood for apologies. He was too upset and too emotional that even if he tried to say he was sorry it would just come out aggressive. He made his way to his room, where he used every ounce of his stress and anxiety to slam the door. The building shook as he punched his fist into his palm in frustration, sighing angrily at how out of whack his powers were. He began to strip down to his boxers, squirming out of his tourniquet-tight shirt before the sight of his reflection caught his eye. Just a few days ago, he was proud of his well-defined arms and muscular chest. Now, his body was just a reminder of how much power he had, and how little he could control it. No wonder Winn wanted to be with Margot. She was so normal, so stable. She didn’t shake buildings when she tried to shut a door, or crush bricks in her bare hands. And more importantly, she didn’t abandon Winn when he needed her most. Tears started blurring Mon’s vision as he fell down on his bed.   _I have no right to feel this way,_ he thought,  _I had my chance to be with him, and I blew it. All I can do now is be happy for him._  Mon wiped his tears and turned on the radio. Kara once gave it to him in case he ever had trouble sleeping, and although he hadn’t even closed his eyes yet, he knew he was in for a long night. The first song that came on was way too peppy for his mood, and sounded like it belonged in an ice cream commercial. He tapped a button to switch to the next station, which happened to be for smooth jazz. He knew that he should probably listen to something relaxing so he could fall asleep, but he wasn’t in the mood. Falling asleep meant that he’d have to wake up the next morning, one where he couldn’t say, “I just spent an amazing night with my close friend who I’m also madly in love with.” He preferred to just lie in bed and wallow in his sadness, flipping through channels on the radio until he found one that he could stomach. Just as he was about to give up, he found one that caught his attention. It was beautiful and sad, and perfectly reflected his mood. 

_Since I've been walking solo_

_Dreaming you were back home_

_I find getting down low_

_Hide until tomorrow_

_Come back into the good life_

_Lose these hazy love lies_

_I've been chasing my mind_

_Lonely in the cold nights_

Mon hadn’t realized how cold he was until that last lyric was sung. He felt perfectly fine before, but suddenly his teeth were chattering, and he felt goosebumps appearing on his skin. He was freezing as he crawled under his bed sheets, longing for someone beside him. That was one of the benefits of a one-night stand: you get a night of warmth and connection with no strings attached. He was sure that he could probably just hit up a bar and go home with anyone he wanted, but that night, he wanted something specific. Someone specific. Someone who he could rub up against for warmth, and someone who could tell him that he wasn’t a freak or a monster. Someone who had so much energy that he could probably power an entire city, and someone who wouldn’t just tolerate him, but who would actually love him for who he was.

_'Cause I'm kicking up stones without you_

_Can't pick up the phone without you_

_I'm a little bit lost without you_

_Without you_

 

Truth be told, Mon was more that a bit lost without Winn. Nothing made sense when Winn wasn’t in the room, and everything seemed threatening and confusing. 

 

_And I'm digging down holes without you_

_Can't be on my own without you_

_I'm a little bit lost without you_

_Without you_

Mon grabbed the radio and hurled it across the room, the lovely melody of the song ending abruptly as the machine collided with the wall. It exploded into a combination of sparks and scraps as it fell to the floor, leaving a dent in the wall. Mon tugged at his hair in frustration. He never had perfect control over his powers, but now they seemed to be getting stronger and stronger. And to make matters worse, Winn wasn’t by his side to help him through it.  _I’m a monster,_  he thought to himself. _I don’t care; I just wanna be a monster with him._

 

...

“What was so important that we had to run home for you to tell me?” Winn asked Harley as they entered his apartment.

“I just couldn’t wait!” She said, the excitement in her voice making her sound like she was on a sugar high, even more so than usual.

“But you didn’t want to tell me on the way home?”

“I thought you’d like the privacy!” She joined Winn on the couch and faced him, saying,“Listen, it’s about you and Mon-El.”

“Look, I know I screwed up by talking to him so much, but there’s something important he told me that I think might change things.”

“Really?” She asked curiously, “You go first then.”

“He told me…” Winn started, having difficulty getting the words out, “he told me he used to have feelings for me. And that he was scared of what that meant which is why he left me after our dance.”

“Interesting,” She commented.

“But what that means is that now we’re even! Well, sorta; I still like him, but he said it was just passing feelings for him.”

“Because if he still has feelings for you he would’ve totally told ya, right?”

“Well...no, probably not.”

“And what’d ya tell him?”

“I told him the same thing: passing feelings.”

“Even though that’s a lie.”

“What exactly are you trying to say?”

“What I’m tryina say is that Mon-El....”

The door abruptly swung open with a blinding flash of light and a thick wall of smoke. Everything became a giant blur for Winn, and the only things he could manage to make out were and a series of red dots that seemed to converge on where Harley was standing.  

“Harleen Quinzel: you’re under arrest.” A familiar voice called out; it was Maggie’s.

“Shit!” She screamed.

“Come quietly!” Maggie told her.

“Winn, listen to me,” Harley began, panic in her voice, “Mon-El…”

She was interrupted as a taser was fired at her, causing her to fall off the couch and spaz on the floor.

“Are you alright?” Maggie asked, patting Winn’s shoulder.

“What did you do?” He asked her, panic in his voice as he stared at his unconscious friend.

“Margot Robbie doesn’t exist; that was Harley Quinn, the new supervillain that arrived in National City. She must've been using you as a way to learn about Supergirl.”

“Right,” He began; he knew he had to play it smart, or else he might not have a chance of rescuing her. Should he even rescue her? She was a villain, afterall. 

“I’m so sorry, Winn,” Maggie said, “You seemed to really care about her.”

“Yeah,” Winn said, not lying; he was starting to consider Harley a friend. An insane, totally unstable, somewhat emotionally abusive friend. A friend who had helped him through his heartbreak. A friend that was now being carried out of his apartment.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Maggie asked.

“No, it’s okay. I’d rather have some time alone, if you don’t mind,” Winn said; he would need some time to consider what his next move was.

“No, not at all,” Maggie told him as she walked out and shut the door.

Winn sat by himself, taking in everything that had just happened. He thought about going to sleep and dealing with all his problems in the morning, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to even shut his eyes. Not with all the thoughts running through his head like drunken gazelles. He put on his pyjamas, sat on his bed and grabbed his notebook. He wrote the date, and then whatever came to his mind. 

_Harley in jail: what to do?_

 

  * _Rescue?_



 

_-Pros:_

_-Save friend_

_-Cons:_

_-Could get caught/fired_

_-Not worth it? She is evil, after all_

_-Alienate friends if caught_

- _Helping supervillain/everything I hate about the world_

_-What would Mon-El think?_

He thought for a moment, debating whether or not that last con should be scratched out. Mon wasn’t his boyfriend, so what did he care what he thought? Then again, Mon is his friend, so by definition his opinion should matter. But then wouldn’t that fall under the category of “Alienate friends if caught”? Why should it? Mon-El was a whole category unto himself. He continued writing about Harley, but soon got off-topic.

_Mon-El:_

_-Big, blue eyes_

_-Hotter than a sun_

_-Frat boy-esque nature_

_-Puppy-ness makes me weak in the knees_

_-Sweet_

_-Funny(like really funny)_

_-Constantly in awe of everything_

_-Noticed and was upset that I was ignoring him (i.e he cares about me?)_

_-Makes me feel good_

_-Makes me happy_

_-Hate saying goodbye to him_

_-_ ~~_Loved me._~~ _Still loves me? Was that what Harley was trying to say?_

_-Want to be with him_

_-Want him by my side_

Winn’s eyes began to droop, as he felt the urge to sleep wrap around him like a blanket. He set his notebook on his nightable as he pulled the sheets over himself. Thinking of Mon-El had put a trance on him, making him feel increasingly comfortable and relaxed. He shut his lamp off, and soaked in the darkness that surrounded him. He nestled into his bed until he was comfortable, and imagined what it would feel like with Mon-El in it. Too small? Too big? What side of the bed would he want? His eyes shut as his mind started to clear, shocked at how thoughts of Mon-El were parting his worries like Moses parting the Red Sea. Well, if Moses had somehow both parted the water and dumped more of it onto himself. Oh well; as far as Biblical analogies went, this one wasn’t that bad considering it was about someone who didn’t even believe in the Bible thinking about someone who didn’t even know what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without You (Oh Wonder): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLAhRiUeJ8E&spfreload=10  
> I didn't name the chapter after it cuz none of the characters actually sang it, but here's the link if anyone's interested. Let me know what you think in the comments below, and if you like this fic you can stay tuned for more chapters coming soon.


	7. A Lovely Night

Winn’s eyes slowly began to open as the sunlight from the windows poured onto his face. He stretched in bed and glanced over at the clock on his nightstand. It was 8:50.  _Shit_ . He practically leaped out of bed before running to the bathroom, where he took history’s shortest yet most effective shower. He got out and dried himself as fast as he could before putting his clothes on. He brushed his teeth and ran out the door, almost tripping down the stairs on the way to the lobby. Dashing out onto the streets, he found himself wishing he had flight or superspeed to ensure he wouldn’t be late to work. It really wasn’t fair that the only two aliens in the group lived together; if Mon-El lived with him, he could just be carried to work. Winn imagined wrapping his arms around Mon-El’s waist, almost like the way they had during their dance, and resting his head on Mon’s back as they would take off into the air. Once Winn finally arrived at work, he thought more and more about what living with Mon would be like. They would spend every night watching movies together. Well, Mon-El would watch the movies; Winn would stare at the wonder in Mon’s eyes. Mon would cook every other night or so, and Winn would lie and pretend it was good just to get a smile out of him. If there was ever a party in town, Mon would beg Winn to go with him. And he would; there was nothing those puppy dog eyes couldn’t convince him to do. Maybe he and Mon-El would even tell each other secrets or something. Like they had the night before, when Mon confessed that he used to like Winn.  _Huh,_ Winn thought, _so that actually happened._  As he sat down at his desk, Winn thought about how he had tried to kiss Mon-El on the night of Lena’s party; he had hated himself for doing that. For almost ruining their friendship.That was, until, he found out that Mon had felt the same way. That changed everything.  _Don’t get your hopes up,_ Winn thought to himself,  _he said he doesn’t feel the same way anymore._

_“Because if he still has feelings for you he would of totally told ya, right?”_  Harley had told him before she got arrested. Winn knew what she was hinting at, even though it was ridiculous.  Even she had had enough sense to tell him there was no way in hell Mon loved him.  _Then again,_  Winn thought hopefully, _that was before she actually saw us interact. Maybe she saw something in the way he behaved around me that changed her mind._ Winn’s thoughts were interrupted when the  stress of rushing to work and the enchantment of Mon-El finally wore off, and he remembered something pretty important about Harley: her ass was in the DEO’s containment cell.  _That’s funny; Mon-El used to be in that same cell….stop it, Winn! Stay focused!_ Winn eyed J’onn in his office.  _Finally_ , he thought,  _someone who can help_. He got up and walked through the door cautiously. 

“Hey, Director Henshaw,” He started, trying to be casual, “So are we planning to break Harley out of jail or anything?”

“Who’s we?” J’onn asked him, looking pissed.

“You and I? You know, you kinda helped us out before, so I figured…”

“Last time I checked I only owed Ms. Quinzel one favour, which I paid by backing up your story. I already lied to Kara; I’m not going to break a supervillain out of prison too.”

“Right,” He said as he started to leave the room. Before even setting a foot outside, he turned around to face J’onn before asking, “So are you ever like gonna tell me why you owed Harley a favour in the first place, or…”

“Out, Agent Schott.”

“Uh-huh,” Winn said, his boss’ stern demeanor sending shivers up his spine. J’onn made it very clear he wasn’t going to break Harley out. But, he didn’t say anything about Winn breaking her out.  _Hmmm_ , he thought, before remembering that he left something at work during his last session with Mon-El. He headed for the training room, too stressed out about Harley to process where he was going or who might have been inside. He opened the door, revealing quite a pretty sight: Mon-El was doing pull-ups, the veins in his unfairly beautiful arms bulging as he lifted himself up and down. The fabric of his tight grey tank top was straining as it tried to keep his perfectly sculpted pecs in place. As hot as he was though, that wasn't the only thing that made Winn weak in his knees. There was something in the way he looked at everything that was just so filled with wonder and so brimming with excitement that it made Winn’s entire world brand-new as well. Even the way Mon looked at his own arms as they pulled his body above the bar was like a kid walking into a candy store. He was fascinated and excited by his powers, and Winn loved that about him, even if he knew that those emotions weren’t all of what Mon was thinking. Winn could tell by the look in his friend’s eyes that Mon was afraid of his own strength, and he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around him and tell him that there was nothing to be afraid of. That he wasn't a monster. That there wasn't one single thing about him that Winn didn't find absolutely perfect. There wasn't just that, of course; Mon-El had a power over Winn, like he could make Winn do things that he would never do on his own. Like take an alien with little to no interaction with his new world out for drinks. Or dance with that same alien at a party, and try to press a kiss to his lips. Or walk directly onto wet floor because he was too busy staring at the same alien to notice a huge, bright yellow caution sign in the middle of the training room. He slipped and landed on his back, wincing in pain as he collided with the floor.

“Winn!” Mon exclaimed as he swung off from the bar and dashed to help his friend. He grabbed Winn’s hand and hoisted him up with such strength that Winn swore he was in midair for a few seconds. 

“What are you doing here? You said I’d only see you on Monday,” Mon-El said, seemingly relieved that what he was saying wasn’t true. It would’ve been; Winn usually only worked weekdays, but he needed to come into work to find out as much as he could about Harley’s situation. At least that’s what he told himself.

“I just...wanted to get back to normal,” Winn lied, “Anyways, why are you here? I didn’t think you came in on weekends.”

“I come in every day, since I don’t actually work anywhere. There’s nothing for me to do at Kara’s all by myself, so I come here and work out.”

“Why don’t you go explore?”

“I’d be exploring alone.”

“Wouldn’t that be better than working out alone?”

“Actually no,” Mon said, “If I’m alone here I can clear my head. If I’m in the city alone I’d just feel... lonely.”

Winn noticed the sweat dripping from Mon’s body and handed him a towel, which he gladly accepted.

“Hey, Winn, I’m sorry about Margot,” Mon said to him, sympathy in his voice as he approached Winn. The sweat on him somehow made him smell even better than usual, like it enhanced his already boner-inducing scent.

“She seemed really great,” he said as he put his hand on Winn’s shoulder.

“Uh-hum,” Winn said, biting his lip to keep from smiling at how close Mon was.

“But, on the bright side,” Mon said hopefully, “At least now you won’t be too busy to hang out!”

“True,” Winn said; without Harley his plans to cut Mon out of his life were crumbling. Also, for some reason after Mon confessed that he used to like Winn, the sense of needing to distance himself from him had disappeared.

“I was thinking,” Mon started shyly, “Kara’s been getting on my nerve lately, and after what Margot did to you, maybe we should take some time off from women. You know? Have a guys night.”

“Yeah sure,” Winn said happily, “You, me, and James.”

Mon’s face dropped.

“Actually I thought it could just be us,” He admitted, trying to sound casual, “We haven’t hung out just the two of us in a while.” 

Winn thought for a moment.

“I would actually really like that.”

Mon grinned.

“So, tonight work for you?” He asked.

“Tonight...” Winn said; he thought he would spend the night planning how to break Harley out, but then he noticed Mon’s beautiful blue eyes looking at him expectantly. “I’m sure I’m free.” 

“Great,” Mon said while laughing happily, “See you there!”

“Definitely,” Winn told him, very, very pleased to see Mon so happy to hang out.  _Remember: this isn’t a date,_ he thought, yet smiled while he thought it, as if the dreamer in him was beginning to break through. 

 

...

Harley lay on the cold floor of the DEO’s containment cell, still unconscious from the jolt of electricity she was hit with. All elements of her disguise were gone, leaving the whole world to see the broken and deranged woman she really was. Her eyes fluttered as she began to woke up, still thinking she’d be in Winn’s apartment. She got up to her feet, stretched, and yawned. 

“Hey, Winn,” She said sleepily, “There’s somethin’ you should know about….” She was interrupted as she realized where she was. And who was standing on the other side of her cell. 

“Well, well, well,” Harley said, “If it isn’t Supergirl. Come ta make a pancake outta me?”

“If you don’t cooperate,” Kara started, “I just might.” 

“Gotta say,” Harley started as she analyzed her surroundings, “This place sure is nicer than my last cell. No espresso machine, so that’s a downah, but at least I’ve got a great view of the most self-righteous woman on the planet!”

Kara laughed.

“Wow,” She said, “You really are making this hard.”

“Said no lover of yours ever.”

Kara ran to the cell, but then took a breath and calmed down, putting a frown on Harley’s face.

“Well, I'm dating a woman right now, so...jokes on you! And for the record, we turn each other on ….like faucets.”

“Too much info,” Harley said while shaking her head.

“Now, back to what really matters: why did you pretend to be Winn’s girlfriend? To get close to me? To learn my identity?” Kara interrogated.

“Oh my God, Supes, not everything’s about you!” 

“So if it wasn’t about me than what was it about?”

“Oh, I dunno, maybe I just care about Winn.”

“No,” Kara said, “You are not playing mind games with me.”

“I’m tellin’ ya, it’s the truth!” Harley exclaimed, “I swear, one or two bad decisions and suddenly everyone’s out ta getya!”

“One or two bad decisions?”

“K maybe more than one or two if we’re bein’ completely honest here,” Harley said, “Speaking of Winn though, is he around? I need to talk to ‘im.”

“Well that's just too bad, because you're never going to see him again.”

“Well I think that shouldn’t be up to ya. Ask him if he wants to see me. Go on, ask ‘im. I’ll wait. In fact, I’ll only talk to him. No one else. Not even you, Supes.”

She sat down on the floor and ran her fingers through her hair, as if Kara weren’t even there. Kara gave a hysterical and frustrated laugh before leaving the room.

...

“Well that was frustrating,” Kara told Alex once she’d finished interrogating Harley.

“Don’t let her get to you,” Alex told her.

“How can’t I when she’s just so...uggghhh!” She said as she banged her fist into her palm. “Why do people think it’s so good to be bad? Bad guys are the worst! They’re selfish, and obnoxious, and they keep messing with everyone’s love lives!”

Kara kicked a desk with all her force and might, causing it to completely collapse on itself, drawers falling out and thousands of papers spilling on the floor. Every agent in the DEO had stopped to look at her.

“It was old,” Kara said.

“It was not old,” Alex said while shaking her head.

“It was probably already broken,” Kara said.

“It was not already broken,” Alex said.

“It was really cheap,” Kara said.

“It was eight-thousand dollars,” Alex said dryly.

Kara’s eyes widened.

“Eight-thousand? For a desk? I’m sorry about breaking it, but Rao, we really need someone to manage this place’s budget. We’re spending thousands on desks, meanwhile our closets are so old I’m pretty sure I found a dead body in one the other day.”

“Oh my God, Kara, did you really?” Alex asked, terror in her voice.

“Yeah,” Kara said plainly as she shrugged, “I’m sure it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not,” Alex said before calling, “Can someone please find the body?”

Kara began to walk away before Alex ran after her.

“Is this about Winn and Mon-El?” Alex asked.

“Yes,” Kara said, “I mean, did Quinn even think that there might have been someone waiting for Winn before she manipulated him? Did she even care about all he’s been through before she toyed with his feelings? I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess no.”

Kara paced around as she thought about Lena’s gala. It was horrible how a night that ended so well for her had to end so badly for her friends. On that night it seemed like everything would have worked out for Winn and Mon-El. There was the dreamy atmosphere, and the passionate dance, and the soaring music...sung by a singer. With pink and blue pigtails. And pale skin. Who happened to have left the party right after Winn.

“Where’s Winn?” Kara asked.

“Training with Mon-El,” Alex said as she recognized the expression in Kara’s eyes, “Wait- you don’t think he knew who Quinn was before Maggie told him, do you?”

Kara didn’t hear her; she was too busy stomping her way to the training room, huffing and puffing as she opened the door. 

“Winn!” She called angrily.

Winn turned his head from Mon-El, the latter making a frown as he mouthed, “Not now.” Kara’s heart sank; she hated to separate them, but she had to give her friend a stern talking to. Winn headed out, still smiling from being in Mon’s company, no doubt. Kara slammed the door, making Winn jump in shock. 

“Good morning to you too,” He said.

“You knew about Quinn, didn’t you?”

“I’m not sure what you…”

“Don’t shit me, Winn.”

“I honestly don’t know what you mean. You seem angry; did you not eat breakfast?”

Kara huffed and puffed so angrily she could practically feel smoke coming out of her nose.

“No. As a matter of fact I didn’t,” Kara said as she crossed her arms, “And you’re my best friend so you should know that if I’m hungry and already pissed at you, then you should not be testing me.”

Winn sighed.

“She was the singer at Lena's gala, wasn’t she?”

Winn nodded.

“ Look...I ran into her after I walked out. She said she was sorry about Mon walking out on me and that she knew what it was like to love someone and be left lonely. She invited me to go grab a drink with her, so I said yes. We started talking about our experiences, and we got so drunk that eventually we kinda told each other really personal things. We made a pact that we would team up to stop each other from going back to our unrequited lovers.”

“Just like that? After one night, you suddenly became best friends?”

“Kara, you know I’m not exactly at my best judgement when hot people convince me to get drunk.”

“And that whole business with her being your girlfriend was….”

“I had no part in that! That was all her! I asked her to walk to work with me so she could keep me from doing anything stupid, like professing my love for Mon or trying to make a move on him. I had no idea she’d do that.”

Kara thought of all Mon-El had been through, and how much it took him to finally admit he loved Winn. She thought about how he had been dragged in the mud all of last week, thinking about how much he wanted Winn. She also thought about all the times she told Mon not to make a move on Winn, since he was in a committed relationship with someone.

“Besides, I didn’t realize Mon liked me,” Winn said, “I would never have kept pretending to be with Harley if I’d known how he felt about me.”

“You  _did_  know,” Kara said to him, “I told you about how he acted around you.”

“Was I supposed to believe you after he walked out on me?”

“He had a good reason…”

“I know, okay? He told me. Everything. Including how he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore.”

Kara glared at Winn, as if he were the biggest idiot in the world.

“Winn,” She started angrily, “What...what is so hard for you to understand?”

“What?” He asked.

“Forget it,” Kara said before storming off, leaving Winn shaking his head in confusion.

…

Winn entered the training room, still feeling uneasy after his confrontation with Kara. Maybe she was right; after all, he was Kara’s friend long before he was Harley’s. In all their years of friendship, Kara had always been there for Winn, even if what she had to say didn’t really help. He was staring down at his tablet, getting lost in his thoughts before Mon-El asked, “So what were you and Kara talking about?” Winn jolted as he returned to reality, his heart racing as he tried to think of an explanation. Should he say they were discussing something classified? No, whenever Winn used that word Mon-El always got upset. He didn’t like being told what he could and couldn’t know.

“Was it about me?” Mon asked.

“Yes!” Winn exclaimed, happy to have found a way out of coming up with an excuse until his brain registered what Mon had said.

“Oh,” Mon said, his head dropping as he walked over to his brick, “Well what’d she say?”

“Nothing much,” Winn started, trying not to sound panicked as he scrambled to figure out what he would say next, “Just that I shouldn’t overwork you because she planned on....taking you to the city tonight.”

“But you told her she couldn’t, right?” Mon asked, “Because of our plans?”

“Yeah, of course,” Winn started, and then sighed, “You know what? This is ridiculous. Mon-El...there’s something you need to know.”

Mon stared at him, concern growing in his usually carefree eyes. 

“Is something wrong?” Mon asked.

“No, but um...you should probably sit down for this.”

Mon sat on the floor, crossing his legs as he chewed his lip. Winn joined him, butterflies eating him up from the inside. He knew Mon would probably be upset with him if he told him the truth, but what was the alternative? Lie? Then he’d be living a lie every time he saw him. Winn sighed, summoning up all his courage as he began to tell his story. He confessed everything, making sure not to skimp out on any details. Throughout his story, he tried to analyze Mon-El’s facial expressions. Mon’s face was completely unreadable, like a computer being rebooted. He showed no sign of interest, but also no sign of boredom. He showed no signs of sadness or anger, but also no sign of happiness. Winn knew that the problem wasn’t with Mon; it was with him. He was trying to analyze Mon’s face so much that all of his hopes and worries were cancelling each other out. If Kara or Harley had been in there, they definitely would’ve been able to tell what Mon was thinking. But they weren’t there, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Winn was completely on his own, his life now belonging to no one except him. At one point the words just stopped coming out of his mouth, and he quickly realized the reason why: he had nothing left to say. He had confessed everything, from his night at the bar with Harley to their moving-in process to their pact to keep each other from going back to their respective crushes. Winn looked at the alien sitting there, wishing he knew what he was feeling.

…

All Mon-El could do was sit there as he listened to Winn’s story, not knowing what to feel. At first, he was angry. How couldn’t he be? Just when he finally accepted that he could love Winn, he was completely deserted. And it was all planned! Winn knew exactly what he was doing when he ignored Mon, and he may not have realized it, but it hurt like hell. All week Mon had to listen to Kara tell him that it was all in his head, that Winn still wanted to be his friend. That deep down, Winn still felt the same way, even if he was sticking his tongue into a woman’s mouth. Mon wasn’t sure if any of that was true anymore - except the part about Winn making out with  ~~Margot~~  Harley. Even if it was a ruse, the violent, almost graphic image of Harley kissing Winn was impossible to forget.

“But the important thing to know is that I didn’t want to be apart from you,” Winn finally started, “I felt like I had to. To protect myself...not that you were hurting me...well, you kinda were...but not physically, don’t worry! It’s just that I didn’t know you liked me, and I couldn’t handle always being around you, always seeing you flirt the night away with any girl in sight while I just sat there. I… I had to get away. I’m sorry.”

Mon glared at him while breathing heavily.

“You seem mad?” Winn finally said, “Oh God, you seem really mad. This is it: this is how I die.”

Winn was panicking in his signature way until Mon finally spoke.

“Stop, just stop,” Mon started, “Look, I am mad. But not just at you.”

It was Winn’s turn to look confused now. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m upset with myself. I mean, look at everything you did, all because I hurt you. I was so busy thinking about my own feelings that I forgot to consider yours. I should’ve trusted that what I felt was real, instead of leaving you that night. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I wasn’t such a coward.”

“Mon-El,” Winn started, “You weren’t a coward; you were confused. And it’s perfectly normal to feel confused when something like that in your life changes. Even I was confused when I realized I wasn’t straight.”

“Straight? What’s that?” Mon asked, before facepalming, “No, sorry; you were saying something. Go on.”

Winn sighed, but not in an exhausted or annoyed way.

“Look, there’s no need to blame yourself. None of what I did was your fault.”

“Don’t lie to make me feel better,” Mon started, “If I didn’t try to deny my feelings for you, then none of this would’ve happened. I know you’re thinking it too, please don’t lie.”

“Too late for that,” Winn muttered under his breath.

“Yeah,” Mon said, thinking back to Winn’s scheme with Quinn,“Well, looks like we both took turns hurting each other.”

“I’m sorry,” Winn said sincerely.

“I’m sorry too,” Mon said back.

“I didn’t wanna be away from you,” Winn said, “but I just felt like it was the right thing. Besides, I thought you didn’t feel the same way. I figured you’d be happy if I never spoke to you again.”

“Winn,” Mon started as he put his hand on Winn’s shoulder, “I just want you to know that I would never,  _ever_ want that.  I’m sorry if I made you feel like I did.  I...”

Mon stopped speaking when he realized where he had put his hand, which could have crushed every bone in Winn’s body if he got too upset. He quickly pulled it back and brought it to his lap.

“I don’t deserve to be your friend,” Mon said as he looked down at himself, “I’m a monster.”

“No,” Winn said, shaking his head as he patted Mon’s shoulder reassuringly, “Mon-El of Daxam, you are a cocky, irresponsible, kinda selfish, mess of a Daxamite. But you’re not a monster. You lift me up when I feel down. You convince me to do things, these crazy, stupid, unbelievably fun things that I would never even think to do on my own. When I’m with you, I feel more alive than I ever feel with anyone else."

Mon-El thought for a moment, remembering all he had been through while Winn was ignoring him. He had spent the entire time hating himself so much that his once-soaring confidence had taken a major blow. In the course of a week he had gone from being his usual, cocky self to being a much more mellow and self-deprecating person. Everything he used to love about himself he now hated. But there Winn was, telling him he was wrong. Winn’s speech wasn’t enough, but Mon was starting to feel a bit of his old self coming back.

“Thank-you,” Mon-El said.

“No problem,” Winn said.

A ‘thank-you’ didn’t seem like enough to Mon. There must have been something he could’ve done to show how much what Winn said meant to him. A hug? No, Mon-El didn’t want to get his sweat all over Winn. A kiss? No, no way. As far as Mon knew Winn’s feelings had faded with time and distance, just like he and Harley had planned. Maybe something physical wasn’t right. Maybe what Winn needed was a nice gesture.

“Were you planning on us hanging out at your place?” Mon asked.

“Yeah, I guess,” Winn responded.

“Well, instead of me just coming over and eating all your food, do you wanna go out? My treat,” Mon said.

“Really? Are you sure?” Winn asked.

“Yeah,” Mon said as he shrugged, “I mean, it’ll make up for all the times you’ve paid for me.”

“True,” Winn said, “Okay. Yeah, sure.”

Winn’s tablet buzzed, and he picked it up to see why. 

“Oh,” Winn said, “So, J’onn needs my help with something. Do you mind cleaning up? I know you hate it, but…”

“No problem,” Mon said, “Go ahead.”

“Oh, okay,” Winn said as he got up and started to walk out the room, “We’ll meet up at my place at around...seven?”

“Sounds good,” Mon told him.

“Bye,” Winn said as he waved.

“Bye,” Mon said as he waved back.

Once Winn had shut the door, Mon got up and started to clean up the training room. He picked up some weights he had left on the floor, and grabbed a broom to sweep up some bricks that had been crushed into powder. He usually hated doing these things, but for some reason the thought of spending time with Winn had made everything seem better. The cold, lifeless grays of the walls and floors had suddenly become beautiful shades of silver. The beaten, worn out punching bag seemed less like a sack of grains and more like a balloon that was blown just for him. And as he left the DEO, he realized something: he wasn’t dating Winn. And he was fine with that. Did he still feel like he wanted to be something more to Winn? Yes. Did he still get a thrill whenever he thought of Winn’s ass in a tight pair of jeans? Definitely. But as long as he never let Winn know any of those things, they could still be friends. He eventually found himself at Kara’s apartment, an army of bright colours attacking him as he opened the door. Every one of them used to mean nothing to him, but for some reason they were all illuminated that day. He was beginning to feel happy again, and it was all thanks to Winn’s talk with him. Still, he didn’t feel the same as he did before Lena’s gala, but in a good way. It was probably because he felt love. Pure, confusing, terrifying love. Unrequited love, but still love. He felt like that had made him a bit wiser, and just a bit more grown-up. While he was sure that Kara would appreciate those changes, he wasn’t sure what Winn would think. He was never sure what Winn was thinking, and that was part of why he loved him. He was on a constant mystery ride, never knowing what intelligent or spastic things would fly out of Winn’s mouth. And though he would never get to call Winn his own, at least he would get to call Winn his friend. And that wasn’t nothing. 

“Just friends,” He said to himself, “Nothing more, nothing less.”

…

After a long day of work, Winn headed into his apartment, desperately wanting to collapse on his couch. That was, until he remembered his plans with Mon-El. He ran to his bedroom and scoured his closet for something to wear. His suit from Lena’s gala? Probably not; that night and anything associated with it just brought back painful memories. He kept searching, but he was certain that he would find nothing. It didn’t help that he didn’t know what the dress code for, “Going out for dinner with your alien friend who you’re madly in love with” was. He didn’t want to dress too fancily in case Mon-El wore something casual, and he didn’t want to dress too casually in case Mon-El wore something fancy. He glanced at his watch; Mon could be showing up at any moment. He knew that Mon-El loved to dress to impress, just like him, so he settled for a black suit with a teal shirt. He figured better safe than sorry. Just then he heard the doorbell ring, sending shivers up his spine and setting butterflies loose in his stomach. 

“Not a date,” He said to himself before walking over to the door.

He fiddled with the knob, debating whether or not to open it. 

“Oh, fuck this,” He said to himself as he fully twisted the knob and opened the door. Standing on the other side was none other than Mon-El, his eyes lighting up behind the lenses of his fake glasses. 

“Hey!” Mon exclaimed as he held his arms out wide.

“Hey,” Winn said back as he analyzed the alien’s clothing, “You’re wearing a suit.”

“Yeah,” Mon said as he glanced down at his crisp shirt and cute bow tie, “It’s not too fancy, is it?”

“No, not at all,” Winn said defensively, “I- I’m wearing one too.”

“Oh,” Mon said as he looked at Winn’s outfit.

“It looks good on you,” He said as he smiled at Winn.

“Thank-you,” Winn said with a small, bashful smile.

“That’s not inappropriate to say to a friend, is it?” Mon asked.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Winn responded.

“Cool,” Mon said before rubbing his hands, “So, where are we going?” 

“I kinda thought you had somewhere in mind,” Winn said.

“Well, how about we just walk around town for a bit and we’ll see where the night takes us.”

“Sounds good,” Winn said as he stepped out of his apartment. He made sure to close and lock the door, and even tried to open it without keys just to make sure it was locked. Once he was satisfied, he turned and faced Mon-El, who was looking down at him with a confused and concerned look.

“Is something wrong?” Winn asked.

“Did you get taller?” Mon asked.

“What? Oh, no, I didn’t,” Winn said as he lifted his foot up and pointed to his shoe, “My shoes have heels.”

“Ah,” Mon said, “Good.”

Winn and Mon were beginning to walk out of the building when Winn asked, “Why is it good that I’m not almost as tall as you?”

“I just like being a lot taller than you,” Mon said.

Winn could practically hear Harley saying, “Mon-El wants to be taller than you so he can exercise control over you and show you he’s dominant.”

“It’s the one thing I have over you,” Mon explained.

“What do you mean?” Winn asked.

“Well, I mean you’re smarter than me, and kinder, and more thoughtful…”

“You’re all those things too,” Winn protested.

“Yeah, but not nearly as much as you,” Mon said.

Winn and Mon had arrived at the elevator, which opened immediately once Winn pressed the button.

“I think you’re too hard on yourself,” Winn told Mon as they walked in.

“And you’re not?” Mon asked.

“I didn’t say that,” Winn said, “But I’m like that because I have reason to be. I mean, I’m not exactly the most handsome person, or the smartest, or…”

“What are you even saying?” Mon asked, sounding a bit angry, “First of all, not the smartest person? Winn, you’ve gotta be kidding me. You’re probably the smartest person who’s ever walked this planet, maybe even this galaxy. And not handsome? Didn’t I just tell you how amazing you look?”

“Jeez, no need to get so upset about it,” Winn said, “Why does what I think of myself matter so much to you?”

“Because,” Mon started, “You’re always so kind to everyone except yourself. Even to people who don’t deserve it. And, honestly, it pisses me off that you can’t see what I...what everyone else sees.”

Winn thought for a moment.

“Who were you talking about when you said I was kind to people who don’t deserve it?”

“Well you’re looking at one,” Mon said.

“You see how hypocritical you sound, don’t you?” 

“I’m not hypocritical; I deserve to put myself down.”

“Mon-El,” Winn started, “ A week ago you were the most confident person I knew. What happened?”

“Maybe I just realized I had no business being so confident,” Mon said.

The elevator doors swung open, and Winn and Mon-El walked out into the lobby, and then out the door (which Mon-El very graciously held for Winn).

“This isn’t because of me, is it?” Winn asked Mon.

“No, it’s not,” Mon said, “Why does what I think of myself matter so much to you?”

Winn hated Mon for using his own line against him.

“Because you’re my friend, and one that I care a lot about. You mean so much to me, and it kills me to know you don’t value yourself as much as I value you. Mon-El, everything you hate about yourself, I actually really admire about you.”

“Really?” Mon asked condescendingly. “You admire how selfish I am?”

‘Honestly, I like how you put yourself above others. It’s the opposite of what I always do, and it’s part of what makes you interesting to me.”

“You like my super-strength, which I can barely control?”

“I do! I’ve always loved superheroes, and aliens, and strength has always kind of been a turn on for me, to be honest.”

“You like…”

“Yes!” Winn shouted, “Whatever you’re going to say, the answer is yes! I like everything about you, whether it’s your dickishness or your puppy eyes or your arrogance or your handsome face and gorgeous body. I like it all! Wanna know why? Because…”

Winn stopped himself, because he didn’t want Mon to know what he was about to say. He and Mon continued to walk in silence, until Mon spoke up by saying, “If it means anything, everything you hate about yourself I admire about you.”

“Like what?” Winn asked.

“Well,” Mon said as he thought, “I know you don’t like how you stutter on your words sometimes…”

“....Nope, I don’t...”

“...but I find it kinda nice.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I just think it gives you character.”

“Huh,” Winn thought.

“And your face that you think is so hideous? Truth be told, I think you’re quite handsome.”

Winn’s brain registered that for a moment.

“What the shit?” He asked.

“Is  _that_  inappropriate to say?” Mon asked.

“I’m just surprised that someone like you would find me handsome.”

“Why? I’m allowed to think things like that about my friends from time to time, aren’t I?”

Friends. How appropriate.

“Yeah,” Winn said, “I said you’re handsome, so I guess it’s okay for you to return the favour.”

“You also said I have a quote-unquote ‘gorgeous body’,” Mon said with a smug smile that made it clear to Winn that he was getting his confidence back.

“Oh shit,” Winn said as he facepalmed, “Did I really say that?” 

“Yup, and you can’t take it back,” Mon told him cockily. 

“Well, I guess I’m at least slightly attracted to any alien with superpowers,” Winn said before adding in, “I’ve seen better,” so he didn’t make Mon uncomfortable.

“Really?” Mon asked with a bit of defensiveness in his voice. “Like who?”

“Superman,” Winn told him.

“Ah yes, Superman,” Mon said as his head dropped.

 _Wait, he’s upset that I said Clark is better looking than him?_ Winn thought.

“Actually I take it back,” Winn said, and Mon immediately perked up.

“Do tell,” Mon said.

“Well I met him once, and he was great and all, but once he left I got down to thinking about it and I realized that he’s kinda wooden. Like, he’s handsome and heroic, but it hit me lately that I want something more. I think I want someone a bit more charismatic, maybe even edgier.”

“Huh,” Mon said to himself, “And, just out of curiousity, would you consider me charismatic and edgy?”

“Oh yeah, definitely,” Winn said.

“Good to know,” Mon said smugly.

…

Mon-El looked around him, and realized that while he and Winn were talking, they had ended up in somewhere he’d never been before. It was woodsy, and they were beginning to walk up a hill.

“Hey, Winn,” Mon said, “I’ve been following you this whole time, and I’ve kind of been trusting you not to lead me to my death, so what the hell are we doing  _here_?”

“Shit,” Winn said as his head dropped, “I was distracted, and I was supposed to be taking us to the city, but I ended up going to where I always go when I walk on autopilot.”

“Where are we?” Mon asked as he looked around.

“It’s just this place with a really nice lookout,” Winn said, “It’s kinda special to me. I come here whenever I need to think.”

Mon thought for a moment. He still wanted to get to know Winn more, and where better to do that then his very own Fortress of Solitude?

“Can we go and see it?” Mon asked.

“I thought you’d want to eat before doing anything,” Winn said.

“Well, like you said, I don’t need to eat so much, so I should be good,” Mon said.

“Okay, well I guess we could go see it if you really want to,” Winn said.

“I mean, if it’s not an invasion of your privacy…”

“No, not at all. We’re already halfway there anyways, so we might as well.”

“Great,” Mon said with a small smile.

The two continued walking before Winn asked, “So what about you?”

“What do you mean?” Mon asked.

“Well we kept talking about me and my crushes, but what about you? What kinda things are you attracted to?”

Mon paused for a moment, thinking hard about his answer. 

“I honestly don’t know,” Mon said, “My type used to just be hot girls, but then after our whole situation I think I might want something more.”

“Like what?” Winn asked.

“Well, I don’t just wanna date anyone who’s hot. I want someone who can make me laugh, and someone who can accept me for who I am while still trying to get me to do the right thing. But not too much of that last one; I don’t wanna completely change my personality.”

“All reasonable requests,” Winn said.

Winn had been kind enough to let Mon know some things he liked about him, so Mon figured  the least he could do was return the favour.

‘You know, I’m also really into smart people lately,” Mon said.

“Really?” Winn asked, looking intrigued.

“Yeah,” Mon said, “There’s just something about intelligence that really turns me on. I don’t know what it was, but when I had feelings for you, it would drive me crazy whenever you would go all sciencey on me and start rambling about computers and hacking and stuff.”

“That is so weird,” Winn said while shaking his head.

“Oh,” Mon said.

“Not in a bad way!” Winn defended, “It’s just that...well, everyone else I know says I get too enthusiastic over stuff like that.”

“Well I for one like your enthusiasm,” Mon said.

“No one else seems to,” Winn added glumly.

“Well screw everyone else,” Mon said, “We don’t need the world to like us. You were right; I was being too hard on myself. But I was right too when I said the same about you. So, how about this: we just stop focusing on what everyone else thinks, and just start focusing on what we think.”

Winn was silent for a few moments, until he eventually added, “Yeah, sure. I’d be down for that.”

“Nice to know,” Mon said as a beautiful sight began to appear.

“Oh, we’re here,” Winn said. 

Mon felt his shoe touch something hard and metallic. He looked beneath him to see that the dirt of the forest had disappeared, leaving a metal bridge beneath their feet. Mon walked with Winn until they had reached the end of the path, where a gorgeous view awaited them. From the lookout they could see the entire city skyline, bright lights illuminating the falling snow. From the streets, the sky just looked like a polluted mess, but from the lookout it seemed like a beautiful, bottomless black with thousands of stars sparkling like diamonds. 

“Whoa,” was all Mon could manage to say.

“Yeah,” Winn said, “I’ve always liked coming here. There’s just something about the bright lights at night, and the way the stars shine so brightly against the sky that makes me feel calmer. Well, as calm as you get when you’re me.”

“It’s so beautiful,” Mon said before turning to Winn and adding, “Thank-you.”

“What? For this?” Winn asked. “It’s nothing.”

“No- well, not just for this,” Mon said, “For being there for me. For always being so warm, and inviting. Don’t tell Kara this, but when I first came here, you were really the only person on this planet who made me feel welcome. You’ve always been so...you.”

Winn looked like he was blushing.

“Thanks,” Winn said, “You- you mean a lot to me too, like I said earlier. And I’m really glad we’re still friends. You know, after all that happened.”

Friends.  _Of course,_  Mon thought. He didn’t know why he thought Winn might have wanted to be something more. Was it how he said Mon had a gorgeous body? Was it how offended he got when Mon told him he didn’t deserve his kindness? Maybe, but there Winn was, reminding him that his feelings weren’t there anymore. Unless, of course, Winn was just saying that because Mon had told him  _he_  didn’t have feelings for him anymore. Maybe he was lying about his feelings like Mon had lied about his own.  _No, that’s just stupid,_ Mon thought,  _I have to stop getting my hopes up like this. It’s not healthy._

“Did you really mean all those things you said about me?” Winn asked Mon.

 _Shit,_ Mon thought,  _He’s onto me. I have to find a way to convince him I just wanna be  friends._

“Yeah, I think you’re a great friend,” Mon said sincerely, “But _just_  a friend. You know that, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Winn said, looking a bit glum. 

 _It’s just my imagination,_  Mon thought.

“I’m actually glad you don’t have feelings for me anymore!” Winn told him. “ I mean, we would never have made it as a couple anyways.”

“Totally,” Mon said, trying to mask his hurt.

“We just don’t make sense,” Winn told him.

“You’re so right,” Mon told him, “I mean, you and I? That’s crazy.”

“So crazy,” Winn said as he turned to face the view in front of him. 

“I mean…” Mon started, before a faint melody began to play in the background.

“What?” Winn asked.

Mon took a breath, and then began to sing.

_“The sun is nearly gone_

_The lights are turning on_

_A silver shine that stretches to the sea”_ Mon sang as he leaned on the rails and looked out at the skyline.

“ _We’ve stumbled on a view_

_That’s tailor-made for two_

_What a shame those two are you and me”_ Mon said before he walked away from Winn’s side. Winn turned to Mon before following him from behind.

_“Some other guy and guy_

_Would love this swirling sky_

_But there’s only you and I_

_And we’ve got no shot”_ Mon sang before stopping and turning around to face Winn.

_“This could never be_

_You’re not the type for me”_ Mon sang.

“Of course” Winn said.

_“And there’s not a spark in sight_

_What a waste of a lovely night”_ Mon sang as he began to walk away from Winn.

…

 _Motherfucker,_  Winn thought. He didn’t know why he had begun to think Mon liked him back. Was it how he said Winn’s rambling turned him on? Was it how Mon had called him handsome? Maybe, but none of that mattered because there Mon was, singing about how he didn’t feel the same way. Winn had said they were friends to find out if Mon had been lying about having lost his feelings for him. Well, looks like he got his answer. By that point, Mon had broken Winn’s heart a million times over, and Winn was fed up. This time, he was going to be the one to end their almost-romantic moment. He ran up to Mon-El and jumped in front of him, shocking the alien.

“Winn,” Mon began, “What are you-”

_“You say there’s nothing here?_

_Well let’s make something clear_

_I think I’ll be the one to make that call”_

“Wait, what?” Mon asked confusedly, most likely shocked at how Winn was the one calling things off instead of him.

_“And though you look so cute_

_In your tight little suit”_ Winn sang teasingly.

“Aww, thanks,” Mon said with a smug smile.

 _“You’re right, I’d never fall for you at all,”_ Winn sang.

“Um, you kind of already did,” Mon said cockily, “Remember?”

“You did too,” Winn reminded him.

Mon cocked his head.

“Fair point,” Mon said.

 _“And maybe this appeals,”_  Winn sang as he walked backwards, making a hand gesture over Mon’s tall, muscular body as the alien whistled.

_“To someone not in heels_

_Or to anyone who feels_

_There’s some chance for romance”_

Winn took a seat on a bench that was sitting there, while Mon went over to the rails and looked out at the view again.

 _“But I’m frankly feeling nothing,”_  Winn sang.

 _“Is that so?”_  Mon asked as he turned around to face Winn.

 _“Or it could be less than nothing”_ Winn sang as he stood up.

 _“Good to know, so you agree?”_ Mon asked as he walked up to Winn.

 _“That’s right”_ Winn sang.

 _“What a waste of a lovely night,”_  Winn and Mon-El sang together, their voices harmonizing for the first time.

The music was still soaring, even though the two had stopped singing. Mon sat down on the bench and turned to face away from the view. Winn walked around the bench, tapping his shoes to the rhythm of the music. Before he knew it, his feet were picking up speed, until the clicking of his heels and the beat of the music synced up. He looked down at his feet in astonishment; he had never taken a tap dancing class in his life, yet here he was, his uncontrollable legs now obeying the music’s command instead of his own. 

“How are you doing that?” Mon asked him; he must’ve been just as surprised as Winn.

“I don’t know,” Winn said, his voice somewhere between scared and excited. 

He continued to dance, and Mon looked at him in shock and amazement. After a bit, Mon’s head dropped and his posture sunk. Winn knew he did that when he was upset about something.

“Wanna join me?” Winn asked.

“What?” Mon asked, before realizing what Winn was offering, “Oh no. No, no. I can’t- I can’t dance like that.”

“Come on, I’ll teach you,” Winn said.

Mon looked up at him, the sad look in his eyes fading as he got up and stood by Winn. Winn hopped in front of him, and said, “Line your feet up with mine.” Mon attempted to align his legs with Winn’s, until they were both satisfied with their positioning.

“Just do what I do,” Winn told him.

When Winn jumped, Mon did the same. When Winn clicked his heel against the floor, Mon analyzed his movements and then did the same. Eventually, Mon-El’s feet also seemed to be possessed by the music, and he moved at exactly the same time as Winn. Winn turned around to face Mon, and saw the wonder-filled, childlike look in the alien’s eyes that still made him weak in the knees.

“I think I’ve got it!” Mon said happily.

“Yeah, you do!” Winn said.

The instrumental sped up as Mon-El and Winn continued to dance, their feet furiously tapping against the floor. Mon was looking down at himself, a wide grin on his handsome face. He looked up at Winn, staring into the man’s eyes as he laughed joyfully. Winn’s heart warmed, mainly because Mon seemed so happy, but also because tap dancing was hard work. Mon leaped onto the bench, a creaking running through the air as his strong legs made contact with the hard wood. He kept on moving his body to the music, and Winn was shocked at how he was skilled enough to dance on such a narrow object. 

“Join me,” Mon told him.

“No, I can’t…” Winn started, but Mon grabbed his hand and hoisted him up. Winn stumbled, but his friend held him in place so he could gain his balance. It took a few seconds to get used to, but eventually Winn could dance on the bench just as he easily as he could on the ground. The two were absolutely carefree, nothing but the sound of shoes against wood and euphoric laughter. That was, until Winn misplaced his foot, causing him to stumble and fall off the bench. Mon jumped off and dashed to his friend, landing on the ground and holding his arms out just in time to catch Winn’s fall. 

“It’s okay,” Mon told Winn, “I got you.”

Winn looked up at Mon and laughed, but Mon wasn’t doing the same. He looked intense and concerned, borderline frightened.

“You okay?” Mon asked Winn.

“Yeah, of course,” Winn told him, making sure to stop smiling so his friend knew he was serious. 

“Good,” Mon told him.

Winn stared into the alien’s eyes, peeling back the layers of blue as he peeked into his soul. He tried to squirm out of the Daxamite’s firm hold on him, but he wasn’t strong enough to overpower him.

“Mon-El,” Winn said, trying to smile, “You can let go, you know.”

“Yeah, but...I don’t want to,” Mon said firmly, “I...can we...stay like this? Just for a moment.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks.”

Winn looked up at the handsome face and stormy eyes that gazed down on him, and for a moment everything was silent. All he could hear was Mon-El’s heavy breathing, and all he could feel were Mon-El’s hands firmly rested on his back, keeping him from falling to the floor. 

“Winn…” Mon-El began, but didn’t finish.

“Yeah?” Winn asked.

Mon remained silent, a frustrated look on his face.

“I…” He started, “I have so much I want to say to you, but I just…”

Winn wrapped his arms around Mon’s neck, before hoisting himself up to meet the alien’s lips. He crashed into them, before working against them aggressively, slowly becoming more and more addicted to how they felt with every sip. He took off Mon’s glasses and threw them to the ground, as the tiny hairs of Mon’s stubble dug into his cheeks, like thousands of miniature needles injecting him with some euphoria-inducing drug.

...

Mon’s eyes widened as Winn’s mouth worked against his own, not sure what to do with the human. Every kiss, every embrace he’d ever share with someone all seemed like a practice run for the final exam that was making out with Winn. The final exam he would fail if he kept on standing around and doing nothing. He concentrated on the feeling of Winn’s chapped lips, and how he’d resisted the need to feel them against his own for far too long. He thought of his friendship with Winn, how he spent so much time longing for something more without even realizing it. Every movie they watched together, every drink they shared at a bar, none of it was enough. But this could be. His desire completely overtook him, and he panted heavily as he finally processed that Winn, the only person he ever truly wanted, was kissing him. He returned the gesture by smacking his lips onto Winn’s, working against them as he stood upright. Winn separated his legs and wrapped them around Mon-El’s body like a koala, using the alien’s toned torso as support so Mon’s hands didn’t have to hold him anymore. Mon took his hands off Winn’s back and brought them to his head, running his fingers through Winn’s soft hair. He felt Winn’s hands feeling the muscles on his back, his fingers pressing down hard before working their way down to the alien’s ass. Winn squeezed and tugged with an aggression and fierceness that Mon didn't think he had in him. Winn must’ve caught the surprise in his eyes, because he stopped kissing and asked, “Oh shit, was that too much?”

“No, not even close,” Mon responded before kissing Winn again, this time with even more passion and fire than the last. He moved his lips down to Winn’s neck, sucking on his soft skin before coming into contact with his crisp clothing. It suddenly dawned on him that he had never seen Winn without his shirt on, and he became eager to change that. He rabidly undid some of the buttons, and even though all he could make out were a few of Winn’s chest hairs, even that was driving him wild. He tried to fully remove the man’s shirt, but Winn grabbed his head and pulled it back to his own, moaning with pleasure as he felt Mon’s lips against his own again. 

…

The feeling Winn got from kissing Mon-El was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He was so energized by Mon’s touch and so turned on by every little thing Mon did to him that he felt like his mouth would cramp from moaning, “Oh God yes,” so much. He rubbed against Mon ferociously, a tingling surging through his body as the swell in his pants had a lightsaber duel with Mon’s. Mon must've been enjoying it too, since he kept on moaning Winn's name in between make out sessions. Mon spun around and pinned Winn to the back of the bench, thrusting against him and making him feel on top of the world. At one point, Mon removed his lips from Winn’s, pausing to look at the human’s face.

“How do you feel?” Mon asked, panting for air.

Winn looked into the puppy dog eyes of the man in front of him, and could only think of one word to describe his emotions.

“Satisfied.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Lovely Night (La La Land): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7MglDzGIWY&spfreload=10  
> More chapters on the way! This is not the end! Please leave a comment or a kudos if you're enjoying the story so far, and thanks for reading.


	8. Banana Pancakes

Winn may have been satisfied, but Mon-El certainly wasn’t. He pulled Winn closer again, feeling him up as he sucked on his lips. 

“Oh God, Winn,” Mon moaned as he thrusted against Winn.

“Oh God, Mon,” Winn moaned before kissing Mon’s neck.

“Oh God, Harold!” A weak, old-sounding voice exclaimed in revulsion.

Winn broke apart from Mon-El as their heads turned to see where the voice was coming from. Not far from them was an elderly couple, who most likely came to the lookout for an evening of peace and quiet. 

“Hi!” Mon exclaimed with a wave.

Winn unwrapped his legs and returned to the ground, before grabbing Mon-El by the hand and pulling him away. Mon grabbed his glasses from the ground and folded them into his pocket as the two ran from the spot of that awkward encounter, all the while giggling and taking pauses to make out every now and then. Eventually, they had arrived at the front step of Winn’s apartment, where Mon pinned his companion to the wall and pressed their bodies together, his hands feeling the curves and edge’s of Winn’s figure. He tried again to undo more of Winn’s buttons, but Winn kept pulling his hand away. Mon soon figured out why: even though he and Winn may have been boiling hot, it was still winter; Winn would have frozen to death if Mon took his clothes off. 

“You wanna-” Mon cocked his head towards the door to Winn’s building, “Take this upstairs?”

“Um....” Winn started.

“It’ll be my first time with a guy,” Mon reminded Winn with a smirk. He knew that if he ever wanted to do something with Winn, all he had to do was find something about it that would be his first experience. Winn could never resist making memories with him. Assuming he’d won, Mon grinned as he started to reach for the doorknob, but Winn grabbed his hand and guided it back to him.

“Winn,” Mon started confusedly, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just…” Winn started, looking like he wasn’t sure how to say what he wanted to without hurting Mon’s feelings.

“Just what?” Mon asked.

“I don’t want-” Winn pointed towards Mon-El, and then to himself, “ _This_ to go too fast.”

Mon sighed with understanding.

“Don’t worry,” He reassured, smirking cockily as he added, “I can keep it up for like an  _unhealthy_  amount of time.”

Winn’s eyes widened, and then filled with curiosity.

“That is…um...” Winn started, but then paused as he tried to think of what to say next, “...good to know, but that’s not what I meant.”

Mon looked at him questioningly, letting Winn know that he needed an explanation.

“It’s just that we’ve like barely gotten together, and I don’t know about you but I’ve been wanting this to happen for so long, and I don’t wanna rush into things by...you know, doing the horizontal mambo too soon.”

“Winn,” Mon started before laughing with disbelief, “I’m not sure if I’m just misreading things but it sounds like you don’t wanna have sex with me tonight.”

“That’s...literally exactly what I’m saying,” Winn said with a small laugh.

Mon was so confused; he had never been turned down in his life, and while he liked the new feeling of his dick rubbing against Winn’s, he wasn’t sure he liked the new feeling of rejection.

“Wow,” Mon said disheartedly, “Well, at least you’re honest with me.”

“Look, it’s not that I don’t ever wanna have sex with you,” Winn started, “ I do. Okay? Like I really, really do. You’re a perfect...specimen…”

“...I wouldn’t say I’m  _perfect_...” Mon said with a cocky, knowing smile.

“... and you’re funny, and charming, and to be honest, I’ve imagined myself sitting on your face for a while now. But here on Earth, sex is kind of a big deal. It’s a milestone in a relationship.”

“Milestone?” Mon asked.

“Yeah,” Winn said, “You know? Like an important moment. In dating, first it’s a kiss, then it’s a few dates, _then_ sex. And some people won’t even have sex then.”

“Really?” Mon asked, sounding like he was listening to an audiobook of a Stephen King novel.

“Uh-huh,” Winn explained, “Some people prefer to move in together first, and others only wanna have sex once they’re married…”

“Winn, tell me you’re not one of those people,” Mon started, terror in his voice, “Please, please…”

“I’m not one of those people!” Winn exclaimed.

“Oh thank God,” Mon said while sighing in relief, “You - you really scared me there.”

“So you understand?” Winn asked.

“I…” Mon started, “...can’t say that I do. I mean, sex shouldn’t be such a big deal. It should be something two new lovers do when they’ve waited for months to finally get together.”

Mon paused to look at Winn’s face.

“This really means alot to you, doesn’t it?” Mon asked Winn.

Winn nodded, and Mon sighed.

“Fine,” Mon told him, “I will respect your Earthly customs.”

“Thanks,” Winn told him.

“No problem,” Mon said disheartedly as he started to walk away, “Goodnight, Winn.”

Winn grabbed his hand, stopping him from leaving.

“Look, just because I don’t wanna have sex with you right now doesn’t mean that I don’t want us to spend the night together.”

“Well, what else can we do?” Mon asked him.

“Well, we haven’t eaten yet (you still owe me), and after that I guess we can just put on a movie and cuddle.”

“Cuddle?” Mon asked, “I don’t think I’m familiar with that custom.”

“Oh it’s okay,” Winn said as he wrapped his arms around Mon’s neck, “I can teach you.”

“I think I’d like that,” Mon said as his eyes widened, his eyebrows cocking as he leaned in closer to Winn.

“Yeah?” Winn asked with a smile.

“Mmm,” Mon said before pecking a kiss to Winn’s lips.

…

Winn’s eyes slowly opened to the sight of a thousand streaks of light pouring into his apartment, and the feeling of soft-skinned, strong arms wrapped around his waist. He and Mon-El had fallen asleep on the couch, covered by so many blankets that you could have sworn they were stocking a nuclear apocalypse bunker. Mon didn’t have pyjamas with him, and Winn’s would definitely not have fit him, so he decided to sleep in his boxers (with no protest from Winn. Like at all). Winn’s head was nestled comfortably in Mon’s strong, spectacular chest, his fingers dancing through the alien’s chest hair. He didn’t usually care for body hair, but for some reason Mon-El’s drove him crazy. He analyzed his companion; his hair was messy (but in a sexy way), his muscles were still ridiculously swollen, and his face was so peacefully asleep, no drool or snores escaping from anywhere. Even after a night of cuddling while drowning in blankets, he somehow still looked amazing.

“Not fucking fair,” Winn said to himself while shaking his head; he wasn’t sure what he looked like, but he could tell by the hair in his mouth that he and Mon-El were on completely opposite ends of the “I Woke Up Like This” scale. He squirmed out of Mon’s tight grasp and tried to get up off the couch and make himself presentable to his new boyfriend. He grabbed the coffee table in front of him for support, but Mon took his hand and pulled it back.

“No...no…” Mon said sleepily, his eyes still closed as he turned over to face Winn, “Stay.”

“Okay,” Winn said as he retreated into his previous position, where Mon wrapped his arms around him.

“Oh yeah,” Mon said as he sighed with comfort, “That’s better.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Winn said.

“You’re so comfy,” Mon told him.

“That’s nice,” Winn told him.

“You’re like a pillow.”

“That’s sweet.”

“A pillow that I really, really wanna be inside of.”

“That’s...slightly disturbing.”

Mon laughed as his eyes slowly opened, allowing him to see Winn for the first time that morning. Winn buried his head into the couch, but Mon cupped it in his hand and brought it up to him.

“Winn,” Mon started as he propped himself up on his elbow, “I don't know if I've ever told you this, but you're beautiful.”

Winn waved off Mon’s compliment.

“Pfft,” Winn snorted, “You're just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I'm really not,” Mon told him, “You are, without a doubt, the most stunning person I have ever met. And I know you don’t think so, which is why I’m gonna spend every day for the rest of my life reminding you. So that one day, maybe you’ll see it too.”

Winn squinted, trying to see if the man in front of him was real.

“Thanks, dude,” Winn told him sincerely.

“No problem,” Mon said, “But hey- if we’re really gonna do this, you should probably start calling me something other than ‘dude’.”

“Okay,” Winn started, “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Mon started, “You’re the human; what are some Earth terms of endearment?”

Winn thought hard, reminiscing about their special moments together in the hopes of finding the perfect nickname for Mon-El.

“How about...babe?” Winn asked.

“Babe?” Mon asked. “I thought that was for beautiful women.”

“Well, it can work for beautiful men, too,” Winn said flirtatiously.

“Oh really?” Mon asked. “Than it’s settled: babe.”

Mon leaned in and kissed Winn, before the latter semi-collapsed onto him, his head returning to the alien’s chest.

“What did you call-” Mon waved his hand over his and Winn’s bodies, “ _this_  again?”

“Cuddling,” Winn said.

“Right,” Mon said while nodding his head, “You know, I think this might be my favourite Earth tradition yet.”

“Huh,” Winn said with a small and proud laugh, “Good to know.”

Winn nestled into a comfortable position before he felt a rumbling in his stomach. He wasn’t sure what time it was, and quite frankly he didn’t care, but he was feeling a bit hungry.

“Do you want breakfast?” Winn asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Mon told him.

“I can whip up a batch of pancakes if you’d like,” Winn offered.

Mon glared at him, looking offended.

“First of all, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I make the best pancakes in the city...”

“Really?” Winn asked in a tone of disbelief, “ _In the city_?”

“You heard me,” Mon said, “And no one is making them here but me.”

“Okay,” Winn said as he started to get up, “At least let me help with the…”

“No, it’s okay,” Mon said as he got up and speedily dashed to the kitchen counters, “I got this. Just sit back and watch how it’s done.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” Winn said with a mock salute before sitting back down on the couch. He was beginning to nestle in comfortably before Mon asked, “Hey, where do you keep the blueberries?”

“Oh, I don’t like blueberry pancakes,” Winn said, “There are some bananas in the fridge.”

Mon looked at him like he had just sworn allegiance to CADMUS.

“Don’t like blueberry pancakes?” Mon asked in a hurt voice.

“Yeah,” Winn said, mildly amused by Mon’s reaction, “They’re too messy; the blueberries completely blow up when you try to eat them.”

“That’s the best part!” Mon exclaimed as he tried to process what Winn was saying. “And how the hell do you like  _banana_  pancakes?”

“They’re simple, yet sophisticated; what do you have against bananas?”

“They’re so mushy,” Mon said in revulsion, “I’m making blueberry pancakes.”

“Well  _I’m_  making banana pancakes,” Winn said smugly as he stood up.

“We’re making them both?” Mon asked.

“Yeah,” Winn said, “We’ll each make our own batches, the other person will taste them, and we’ll see who makes the better pancake.”

“Well then: may the best pancake win.”

...

Winn walked over to the fridge and got the ingredients he and Mon-El needed for their pancakes. He grabbed two bowls and handed one to Mon, who was about to wash some blueberries when the sight of a banana caught his eye. He picked it up and analyzed it, immediately noticing its uncanny resemblance to a (not so) little something he had tucked away in his boxers. He realized something: since sex with Winn would be his first time with a guy, he had no clue how it worked. He turned his head to Winn, who was pouring the pancake mix into his bowl. He looked up and down Winn’s figure, and then back to his banana.  _Where do I put this?_  Mon asked himself, briefly stealing a glance towards his ass before shaking his head in disbelief.  _No,_  he thought to himself,  _can’t be. There has to be another way._  He looked over to Winn, who was deep in concentration until Mon poked his arm with the banana.

“Ow,” Winn said.

“Did that please you?” Mon asked curiously.

“No, not really,” Winn said as he examined Mon-El, “I thought you didn’t like bananas.”

“Well, I can’t say I’m familiar with them,” Mon said as he smirked, “But I think I’ll just have to get used to them. You know, for the sake of our relationship.”

Winn looked at him confusedly, and then returned to making his pancakes. Mon examined Winn again, and poked his crotch with the banana.

“What the-”

“Did  _that_ please you?” Mon asked him.

“No, why would it-” Winn stopped when a look of realization spread across his face.

“You really can’t figure out how this works?” Winn asked him.

“No,” Mon told him.

“Well, first there’s this way…” Winn took the banana and put it in his mouth.

“Right,” Mon said, “So it’s just like with women, then?”

“Well yeah, except I don’t have anywhere to put your...mini-Mon here,” Winn said as he waved to his crotch, “So you’ll have to go...you know, the  _other_  way,”

“What other way?” Mon asked.

“You know…” Winn started, but didn’t finish.

“I really don’t,” Mon told Winn.

“Oh for God’s sake…” Winn brought the banana around his waist and spanked himself with it.

“Ohhh,” Mon said before wincing, “Oh. That’s gotta hurt.”

Winn shrugged.

“Maybe the first few times,” Winn admitted, “but there’s more pleasure than pain. Well, if you’re doing it right, anyways.”

“How would I do it wrong?” Mon asked.

“Mon-El,” Winn started, “My friend, my lover, and my superpowered alien companion, as a general rule of thumb in life, remember this: if you see blood, you’re doing it wrong.”

Winn continued making his pancakes before Mon started making his. Halfway through stirring together the ingredients he asked Winn, “So, you’re not worried that I’m gonna...you know, do it wrong?”

“Me? Oh, no,” Winn said, “I mean, your strength control’s been amazing up until that fiasco at Lena’s gala, so maybe you just have problems controlling your powers when you’re stressed. You haven’t hurt anyone during sex before, have you?”

“No,” Mon said as he shook his head, “Not that I can think of.”

“Then you should be good to go,” Winn told him, “Well - when we’re ready for it, anyways.”

“Yeah, about that,” Mon said as he continued prepping his pancakes, “So, just out of curiosity, when do you think we’ll ‘be ready’?”

“At least after the second date,” Winn told him.

“Oh,” Mon said disheartedly, forcing a smile in an attempt to not let his disappointment show.

“But we’ll know when it’s time,” Winn reassured him.

“Right,” Mon said as he went back to making his pancakes.

A little less than an hour later, both Winn and Mon-El had finished cooking their respective batches of pancakes. Winn placed his in a stack, adding a square of butter to the top and a drizzle of maple syrup for flare and finesse. Mon did the same, and soon enough they had both taken their seats at the kitchen table. 

“Hey, before we start, can I borrow a shirt?” Mon asked Winn. “I don’t really wanna eat breakfast in my boxers, but I also really don’t feel like putting my suit from last night on again.”

“Sure,” Winn said as he got up, “But I don’t think it’ll fit you.”

Mon shrugged.

“I don’t mind.”

Winn walked to his room and came back with a t-shirt. He tossed it to Mon-El, who caught it with his reflexes that had been honed through many training sessions.

“Thank-you,” Mon said politely, raising his arms and showing off his toned biceps as he brought it over himself. Winn was slightly shorter than Mon-El, and a lot less muscular, but his body shape was still pretty wide, so the shirt fit Mon like a crop-top, tightly fitting his upper body and exposing some of his abs.

“Perfect,” Mon said sarcastically.

“Well we can’t all be 6 feet of pure muscle and charm,” Winn said sassily.

“True,” Mon said with a smirk.

“Do you want some pants with that?” Winn asked.

“Might as well,” Mon said before Winn tossed him a pair of sweats. They were meant to be baggy on Winn, so they fit a bit better than the shirt. Mon sat down slowly, ready to pop back in place if Winn’s clothes started to tear. They didn’t, so he fully sat down on his chair and was joined by Winn soon after.

“Dig in,” Winn said as he gestured to the stack of banana pancakes that awaited Mon-El. Without thinking, Mon grabbed the stack in front of him and took a greedy bite. He glanced up at Winn, who looked very judgemental.

“Sorry,” Mon said, his head bowed in shame as he started to put his stack down.

“No, don’t!” Winn exclaimed as he grabbed his stack. Mon smiled, and Winn raised his pancake stack like a shot glass before clinking it with Mon’s. He took a bite of it, maple syrup and blueberry residue dripping down his hands. He laughed, and Mon did too.

“So, what do you think?” Mon asked him.

Winn chewed his food, a pensive look on his face.

“I think…” He started, “I think that I usually  _hate_  blueberries in pancakes, but this is pretty fucking delicious.”

“Awww, thanks” Mon said.

“How do you like yours?” Winn asked.

Mon wasn’t sure; he was so distracted by needing to eat that he forgot what Winn’s food tasted like. He took another bite, and moaned as he munched on his fluffy breakfast.

“So?” Winn asked expectantly.

“It’s horrible,” Mon said jokingly, “Like I don’t know how you call this food.”

Winn laughed, before Mon said, “Kidding; it’s amazing. Really.”

“Thanks,” Winn said with a shy smile.

“So, do you wanna go into the DEO today? You know, to tell Kara the good news?” Mon asked before taking another bite.

“Sure,” Winn said, “She’s gonna be so thrilled.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Mon said.

“Harley, too,” Winn added.

Mon felt like he was going to be sick. While Winn was fake-dating Harley, anytime anyone said anything that sounded even remotely close to “Margot” he’d stomp his foot in rage. Now that he knew the truth about her, his trigger word changed from “Margot” to “Harley.” 

“Yeah,” Mon said, trying not to let his anger show in his voice, “Harley.”

“Is something wrong?” Winn asked; he must’ve noticed Mon’s change in mood.

“No,” Mon said, “It’s just that she kept us apart for a week; you’re still her friend?”

“She was only trying to protect me,” Winn said, “And once she found out about how you felt she tried to tell me, but then she got arrested.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mon mumbled, “She just...brings back bad memories for me.”

“I know,” Winn said as he patted Mon’s hand reassuringly, “If it means that much to you, I’ll stop talking to her.”

“No, it’s okay,” Mon told him, “I don’t own you; you’re free to make your own choices and have your own friends.”

“That’s good to know,” Winn said before taking another bite of his pancakes.

Once they were done, they both helped clean up the dirty pans and dishes that had been left in the wake of their culinary adventure. Mon even offered to take out the trash, which had filled up with the new addition of the pizza takeout box from the night before.

…

While Mon-El was gone, Winn was smiling uncontrollably as he hummed joyfully. So it was real; he and Mon-El were actually a couple. Like a real, making-out in public, cuddling all night kind of couple. He still couldn’t believe it. He dreamt about kissing Mon for months, but he thought it would stay that way: just dreams and fantasies. He was never so glad to be wrong in his life. He licked his lips, and could still taste Mon’s kiss. It seemed like everything around him had suddenly become better. He usually hated drying dishes, but he didn’t mind that day, because he knew that once he did he could get back to showing Mon-El what he was made of. He looked around him, and could see that every colour around him was beautifully vibrant. The deep blacks of his tv screen were incredibly nuanced, and the blindingly blue streaks of fruit juice that stained his dirty plates looked gorgeous. _Everything_  looked gorgeous...except the sky outside his window. It was grey...just grey. He tried to find shades of other colours mixed in with it, some blues or hints of yellow at least, but he suddenly didn’t have the energy. To make matters worse, raindrops started to appear on the window as dark clouds submerged the formerly sunny sky. Normally, he would have said something like, “Well the weather’s crappy, but at least the rain means that spring’s coming soon,” but his light mood was starting to fade away, slowly being replaced by tiredness and loneliness. He had no reason to feel lonely, though; Mon-El was only taking out the trash. He’d be back before Winn would even know it. Winn tried to cheer himself up by thinking about his boyfriend, about the way Mon’s arms felt against his body or how Mon told him he was beautiful; but it was no use. Any feelings other than sadness and loneliness had suddenly been diluted, and he suddenly felt his chest caving in on itself. He sank to the floor, trying to remember to take deep breaths as he felt his stomach churn and his heart racing.  _Not now, please not now,_  Winn told himself as a familiar feeling of panic and fear washed over him. He felt his fingers and hands trembling and shaking, and his skin felt like it was about to shrivel up and fall off him. His every breath was a struggle, and he could feel tears scorching the backs of his eyeballs. His panicking was interrupted by the sound of the door opening as Mon-El walked in, soaking wet from the rain and completely unaware of Winn’s suffering.

“Hey babe, do you have a change of clothes?” He asked, not even noticing that Winn was sitting on the floor and on the verge of tears, “Because I’m soaking wet, and not in the way I’d like to be…”

“...Stop...please just stop talking,” Winn said, his voice as weak and shaky as his body.

“Jeez,” Mon started before he noticed Winn, “Hey, are you ok?” 

Winn couldn’t answer him; he was too busy trying to catch his breath.

“Fine,” He tried to mutter as his tears began to choke him.

“Winn, English isn’t my first language but I know that whatever’s going on with you is not, ‘fine’,” Mon started as he got closer to Winn. “What’s wrong?”

“Mon-El please leave,” Winn managed, his entire body feeling like it was being eaten from the inside.

“Babe, I don’t understand…” Mon started.

“Please, just go,” Winn said as he turned his head to face Mon.

“Are you sure…”

“Please!” Winn cried out, hoping that Mon would shut up and leave him alone; he didn’t have the strength to speak one more word.

“Okay,” Mon said, picking up his suit from the night before off the floor on his way out, “Bye.” 

“Mmmphff,” Winn managed as the pains in his chest became unbearable.

The door shut, giving Winn permission to fully collapse onto the floor and burst into tears, no longer trying to deny the shitty way he was feeling. He hated how he pushed Mon-El away; his boyfriend was only trying to help. But still, he knew that Mon wasn’t mature enough to be of any help when he was like this. Mon was funny and charming and plenty romantic, but he wasn’t sincere or very grown up. Winn didn’t usually mind either of those, and in fact Mon’s immaturity had always been attractive to him, but at that moment he felt like he needed to be alone to deal with what was happening to him. He knew that he just had to wait it out, like usual, but that was easier said than done. His stomach felt like maggots were eating it, and his heart was pounding against his aching chest. He managed to curl himself into a little ball and rock himself, every attempt at breathing getting harder and harder than the last. He desperately wanted to be with Mon, like they were before his stupid anxiety had to kick in and fuck things up. Thoughts of his boyfriend were starting to calm him down, but they weren’t enough to fully stop what was happening. All he could do was sit on the floor, basking in the feelings of dread and panic that had suddenly replaced the love and happiness he felt while in Mon-El’s arms.

…

Mon-El was sitting at Winn’s desk, bouncing a ball of elastics on the computer screen. He was still so confused from the morning. He thought that he and Winn had an amazing night, and an amazing morning until Winn started acting the way he did. Something was wrong with Winn, but he had no clue what. It wasn’t like him to just start crying all of the sudden. What could have happened in the short time it took Mon to return that could have done that to him?

“Hey,” a woman said to him as she walked up. Mon looked over his shoulder to see it was Alex.

“Hey,” He said plainly.

“You okay?” Alex asked. “You seem down. Is this about Winn?”

Mon sighed as he wheeled his chair around to face her.

“Yeah, it is. Look, don’t tell Kara this yet, but Winn and I got together.”

Alex’s jaw dropped as she smiled.

“Mon, that’s great news!” She exclaimed. “So, why don’t you want me to tell Kara?”

“Because this morning Winn and I were having so much fun together, and I leave for like two seconds and when I come back he’s crying and on the floor and asking me to leave.”

“Oh God,” Alex said.

“Yeah,” Mon said, “I don’t know what’s up with him. I tried to ask but he shut me down. Do you have  _any_  suggestions?”

“I…” Alex started, but took a long pause of defeat, “I don’t. I’m sorry, but I’m not a mind-reader. If there’s anything you need though, you can come talk to me. Tell Winn the same when you see him next. I’m sure this’ll all blow over soon.”

“Thanks,” Mon said.

“Anytime,” Alex said sincerely as she walked away.

Mon thought about what Alex said. He was glad she was there to help, but he wished that she could’ve offered some kind of insight into what was going on with Winn. But as she said, she’s not a mind-reader. Mon thought about that for a moment.  _Mind-reader_. He thought about asking J’onn for help, but he knew that Winn wouldn’t have appreciated his boss peeking into his mind and interfering with their relationship. He turned his head and glanced towards the area of the DEO that housed prisoners, a dangerous idea beginning to brew. No, he didn’t have a mind-reader. But he had the next best thing: a psychiatrist. He opened up one of the drawers of Winn’s desk, and pulled out his boyfriend’s beloved tablet. He was about to unlock it when it asked for Winn’s password. He tried to guess random things, but none of them worked. Just as he was about to give up, he started noticing that the word “password” was really, really familiar to him. He had no clue why, until a familiar tune started playing.

_“5-0-9-4-5,”_  a familiar, comforting voice sang in his head,  _“My password is: S-C-H-5-0-9-4-5…”_

He wasn’t sure exactly when he’d heard it before, but he knew right away that the person singing it was Winn. Like the nerd he was, he had invented a jingle to help him remember his password. Mon rapidly started entering the letters and numbers into Winn’s tablet, making sure not to skip any by accident. Once the song was done, he clicked “Enter” and sure enough, Winn’s tablet was his, and so was every file in the DEO Winn had access to. He smiled to himself, before finding the right codes for the cell he wanted to unlock. He grabbed a pen and wrote it on his hand, before shoving the tablet back into it’s rightful drawer. He walked over to the containment area, glancing over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching him. No one was, so he started to enter the code for one of the cells. Once he finished, the door immediately rattled as it unlocked and slid open. He walked inside cautiously, before the door slid shut behind him.

“Winn!” A peppy voice with a Brooklyn accent said enthusiastically. “Thank-God yer here, there’s somin’ ya need ta know about…”

Mon-El turned around, and the excited look on Harley Quinn’s face immediately dropped.

“Oh, it’s just you,” She said rudely.

“Yeah, sorry to disappoint,” Mon said.

“Whaddya want?” Harley asked.

“It’s about Winn...” Mon started, but Harley blocked her ears as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Hey!” Mon yelled.

“I can’t tell ya anything about Winn; I’m sworn ta secrecy, and I’m not about ta break my promises so you can…”

“ _Please!_ ” Mon yelled desperately, loud enough for Harley to hear him behind her blocked ears. “He’s in trouble, and I don’t know how to help him. You and I, we don’t know each other that well, but we both care about Winn, so please help me. For him.”

Harley gave him a contemplative look as she unplugged her ears.

“Ya got my attention,” Harley said as she leaned in to hear him better.

Mon sat down and explained everything to her, from Winn’s confession to their dance at the lookout to their morning together. All the while Harley was just sitting there, nodding her head in understanding.

“So, what do you think?” Mon asked. “Do you know what’s bothering him?”

“Was there anything in the area that could have triggered him to act this way?” Harley asked; her voice was serious and concerned, not at all like it usually was. It must’ve been the tone she used when dealing with patients.

“No, I don’t think so,” Mon said.

“I’m gonna need more than that. We’re talkin’ the tiniest thing that he might find depressing.”

Mon thought hard.

“I guess…” He started, “The weather, maybe? It started off really nice and sunny, but by the time I got back from taking out the trash it was rainy and miserable.”

“Well sometimes all it takes is a little push to trigger a panic attack, especially for Winn.”

“That thing you just said, ‘panic attack’,” Mon started, “is that what happened to Winn?”

“Probably, yeah” Harley said.

“But there was nothing for him to be stressed out about,” Mon said, “We were just lazing around all morning.”

“There’s not always a clear reason why someone has a nervous breakdown,” Harley explained, “Sometimes they just do.”

“I had no idea he was so... fragile,” Mon said.

“Hey!” Harley yelled, “Ya don't get ta call him fragile! He's not! In fact, he's stronger than you'll ever be, considering he has twice the amount of shit ta deal and still manages ta get outta bed every day!”

“I'm sorry,” Mon said, hating himself for making Winn seem weak, “I didn't mean it like that.  _Sensitive_ , not fragile. I had no idea he was so sensitive.”

Harley glared at him with her deranged eyes, making him glad she was in a cell.

“How do I help him?” Mon asked. “There has to be a way.”

“Ya just gotta be there for ‘im,” Harley said, “Be a shoulder ta cry on.”

“I tried comforting him,” Mon started, “But he pushed me away.”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Harley started, a tone in her voice that let Mon know she was about to whoop his ass with her psychiatric knowledge, “Did ya try to comfort him or bombard him with questions like, 'Are you okay?' or, 'What’s wrong?'"

“Oh,” Mon said shamefully, “I think that last one’s more like what happened.”

“Uh-huh,” Harley said, “Rule numbah one of dealing with a panic attack: you never make the person more nervous. I know you’re just tryina understand what’s wrong so you can make him feel better, but sometimes it’s just bettah to be quiet. Wait until after he’s done panicking to let him explain. But don’t neglect him, either. You can comfort ‘im by just being there, maybe holding his hand or somin’ like that. Speak in short sentences and if he’s in someplace that’s too busy, get him someplace quiet. And one last thing: keep calm. If he’s panicking the last thing he needs is for you to start panicking that he’s panicking. Then he’ll just panic that you’re panicking, and no one wants that.”

“Okay,” Mon said, slightly confused by her last sentence,“I should be good. But how do I help him now? He probably thinks I don’t understand what he’s going through.”

“Ya don’t,” Harley said, “And that’s okay. Just listen to him, and when he’s in trouble try ta help him. But right now...I dunno. You seem romantic; work up a creative way to apologize, but nothin’ too showy. Just somin’ simple, personal, and sweet.”

“Like what?” Mon asked.

“I can’t help ya with that; it needs ta come from you,” Harley said, “You’ll think of somin’.”

“Okay, thanks,” Mon said as he got up and started to leave.

“No problem, just make sure he’s okay,” Harley called out.

“I’ll try,” Mon said.

“And one more thing: learn ta draw the line.”

“What do you mean?” Mon asked as he turned around.

“When Winn’s feelin’ like this,” Harley started, “Learn to balance bein’ mature with bein’ yerself. Yeah, he needs ya ta be serious right now But he also loves you because you lift him up when he feels down. Don’t forget about that.”

“Okay,” Mon started, “Well how do I do that?”

Harley stared at him, her eyes getting wide with disbelief, and then filling with rage.

“Did you just fucking ask me how the fuck you should be your fucking self?! Figure it the fuck out, motherfucker!” Harley yelled.

“Okay, okay,” Mon said as he ran out of the room.

....

Winn was sitting on the couch in his living room, ready for bed but still shaken from his panic attack. His heart rate had slowed and his chest aches were almost completely gone, but his stomach was uneasy and he still felt a bit light-headed. He hated himself for freaking out in front of Mon-El. Now, the man who was supposed to cheer him up and make him feel alive, was going to treat him like he was weak and pathetic. And that was a best case scenario. Who knew what Mon-El would think of Winn now that he’d seen that part of him. Would he be scared? Understanding? Would he still care about him? His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He didn’t feel like answering; his hands were still shaky, and quite frankly he didn’t feel like talking to anyone.

“Winn, it’s Mon-El,” Mon-El said from behind the door, “Look, I get that you might not want to speak to me, and that’s okay. Just tell me if you want me to go and I’ll go- or better yet, you don’t have to say anything. I’ll take a hint.”

His voice sounded different, no trace of his cocky, frat boy attitude to be found.

“Okay,” Mon said disheartedly, “Message received.”

“Shit,” Winn said as he got up and ran to the door. He immediately opened it, and saw his boyfriend beginning to walk away. On his back was a long, black bag that was almost as tall as him.

“Hey,” He said as he turned around.

“Hey,” Winn said, caution in his voice as he leaned on the doorframe.

“Can I come in or do you still need some time to yourself?” Mon asked, the sincerity in his voice shocking Winn. “Whatever’s best for you.”

“Um...no, you can come in,” Winn said as he ushered him in.

“Thanks,” Mon said as he entered the apartment.

“You can take a seat,” Winn told him as he gestured to the couch and sat down.

“Sure,” Mon said, setting his bag down on the floor before joining Winn.

“Look,” Winn started, “I’m sorry for freaking out on you earlier. We were having such a good time and then I had to go and screw things up with my problems.”

“Don’t apologize,” Mon said as he took Winn’s hand, “You shouldn’t say sorry for something that wasn’t your fault. I should be saying sorry. It was stupid of me to have kept asking all those questions, but the truth is that I’m really, really unfamiliar with these kinds of problems. They weren’t all that common on Daxam, and when I saw you like that it just broke my heart. I care about you, Winn, and I couldn’t bare to see you suffering. I tried to help, but I see now that I was only making things worse. I’m sorry.”

Winn’s eyes widened.

“I’m here to listen to you,” Mon said, “To be a shoulder to cry on. Go ahead, I’m ready.”

Winn sighed.

“Look, I get these panic attacks sometimes. They don’t happen very often, but when they do they can get pretty scary. And the one I got today had absolutely nothing to do with you, okay? They happen at random sometimes. I know you’re worried about me, but please don’t treat me any differently.”

“What do you mean?” Mon asked.

“Like don’t talk to me like I could break down at any moment, and don’t be afraid to make jokes because you think I’ll start crying…I just wish that you never found out about my anxiety. I’ll be different to you now.”

“You’re still the guy I fell for,” Mon said, “Nothing’s changed. It’s good that I know about your panic attacks, this way I can help you when they happen and you won’t have to suffer alone. And I promise I won’t treat you like you’re weak, because you’re not weak. Knowing that you have these problems, but still manage to be so kind and warm to everyone actually makes you the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

Winn was taken aback.

“So...you still wanna date me?” Winn asked.

“Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?” Mon asked.

“You don’t wanna back out now that you know it won’t be easy?”

“I just want us to be together,” Mon said, “ I don’t care how easy or how hard it’ll be. And whether you need me to hug you and let you cry all over me or just laze around with you and cook pancakes, I’ll do it. Whatever you need.”

Winn’s jaw dropped.

“Is something wrong?” Mon asked.

“No, not at all,” Winn said, “I’m just...surprised at you.”

“Oh,” Mon said shamefully.

“Not in a bad way!” Winn exclaimed defensively. “I just...didn’t think you’d be mature enough to handle something like this.”

“Well, there’s a time for fun and there’s a time for seriousness,” Mon said, “Earlier this morning was time for fun; right now, it’s time for seriousness.”

“Right, I couldn’t agree more” Winn said, “Thank-you.”

“No problem,” Mon said, “I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Winn said as he squeezed Mon’s hand, “I do now.”

“Good,” Mon said as he got up.

“Hey, where are you going?” Winn asked.

“I just wasn’t sure if you were in the mood to hang out now,” Mon said.

“Well, I used to like being alone after a day like today,” Winn explained, “But I see now that’s maybe not the best choice.”

“Do you want me to stay?” Mon asked.

“Yes,” Winn said immediately, before adding, “I-I mean...if you want to,” so he wouldn’t sound too needy.

“There’s nothing that would make me happier,” Mon responded, sitting down just in time to catch a kiss from Winn. Mon was about to break apart at one point, but Winn grabbed him by his shoulders and resumed their make-out session. Once Winn was finally finished, he caught Mon-El’s bag from the corner of his eye.

“Hey,” Winn said, “What’s that?”

“Oh, this?” Mon asked as he picked it up off the floor. “It’s just something I brought to surprise you.”

“Oh, Mon-El,” Winn said, guilt in his voice, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I didn’t,” Mon told him as he unzipped the bag, “I’ve had this for a while, I just never needed to use it until now.”

Mon pulled a sleek, wooden instrument from his bag and placed the strap around his shoulder.

“Since when did you play guitar?” Winn asked.

“Kara got it for me once, said it would give me something to do in my free time until I got a job,” Mon explained, “I’m not very good, but I thought I’d play you something.”

“What kinda something?” Winn asked.

“Well I used your people’s precious internet (so helpful, by the way), and found a list of relaxing songs. So I figured I’d teach myself one so I could play it for you whenever you get stressed out. I know it won’t fix things completely, but I just wanted to do something to show you how much I care. There were lots of songs to chose from, but I think I found one that might be special to us.”

“Really?” Winn asked, getting intrigued.

“Uh-huh,” Mon said, “Although I did have to change the words around a bit in some places, and I think that it might actually be about sex....just focus on the literal meaning, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Winn said, settling into the soft cushions of the couch.

Mon-El practised a few notes to warm up, and then cleared his throat.

“You ready?” Mon asked.

“Blow me away, Johnny Cash,” Winn said.

“I don’t know those words,” Mon said quietly before starting to play. The tune was peaceful, but definitely not boring. Winn wasn’t sure if it was the concentrated, sincere look on his boyfriend’s face or the melody of the song, but he was starting to feel relaxed. His nerves were calming down, and his shaky hands were starting to bend to his will again.

_“Can’t you see that it’s just raining_

_There ain’t no need to go outside,”_ Mon-El sang.

_“But baby, you hardly even notice_

_When I try to show you this_

_Song is supposed to keep you_

_Doing what you’re supposed to_

_Waking up too early_

_Maybe we could sleep in_

_I’ll make you banana pancakes_

_Pretend like it's the weekend now_

 

_And we could pretend it all the time_

_Can’t you see that it’s just raining?_

_Ain’t no need to go outside,”_ Mon-El sang, and Winn could his muscles easing up and melting until he couldn’t tell where his skin ended and where the sofa began. His hands had stopped shaking entirely, and his chest aches had been chased away by Mon’s warm voice. 

_“The telephone is singing_

_Ringing_

_It’s too early_

_Don’t pick it up_

_We don’t need to we got everything_

_We need right here_

_And everything we need is enough”_

Winn could feel his eyes getting fluttery as the sweet, intoxicating melody of the song and the warmth of his boyfriend’s support began to make him sleepy. He was fighting to stay awake, but every one of Mon’s soft smiles were begging him to just collapse into his arms. 

_“_ _Just so easy_

_When the whole world fits inside of your arms_

_Do I really need to pay attention to the alarm?_

_Wake up slow, mhmmm, wake up slow”_ Mon sang, tilting his head and giving Winn a better view at the affection in his puppy eyes.

_“Baby, you hardly even notice_

_When I try to show you this_

_Song is meant to keep you_

_Doing what you're supposed to_

_Waking up too early_

_Maybe we can sleep in_

_I'll make you banana pancakes_

_Pretend like it's the weekend now_

 

_And we could pretend it all the time_

_Can't you see that it's just raining?_

_Ain't no need to go outside_

_Ain't no need, ain't no need_

_Rain all day and I really really, really don't mind_

_Can't you see, can't you see?_

_You got to wake up slow”_ Mon-El sang, striking his last chord before setting his guitar down on the floor. He held his arms out wide as he asked, “So, what do you think?” Winn leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Mon-El’s waist, pulling him into a tight hug as he buried his head in the Daxamite’s chest. 

“Thank-you,” Winn said, his eyes getting teary.

“No- no problem,” Mon said, confusion in his voice.

Winn nestled further into Mon’s chest, and he felt so dreary and peaceful that he could’ve sworn he was in that field of poppies from  _The Wizard of Oz_.

“Stay?” He asked sleepily.

“Yeah, definitely,” Mon said as he stroked Winn’s face, “Just let me go change into something more comfortable, okay?”

“You can borrow some of my pyjays again,” Winn said.

“Thanks,” Mon said.

…

Mon-El got off the couch, strategically maneuvering himself so he wouldn’t have to wake Winn up from his half-asleep daze. Winn’s comfort warmed his heart, especially after the scary day they’d had. He made his way to Winn’s bedroom, where he looked through the closet in search of something that would fit him. Eventually, he settled for a pair of baggy sweats and a Chewbacca hoodie. He shook his head as he put them on; Winn usually had great fashion sense, but there’s no reason why anyone should have that infernal hoodie in their possession other than to start a bonfire. He went into the bathroom to gargle on some mouthwash before making his way to the couch, where Winn was completely passed out. His mouth was open, drooling just a little bit like he had on Halloween. Mon smiled before shutting the lights and joining him, lying down and tucking them both in with a good six or seven different blankets. He wrapped his arms around Winn, and rested his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder. He loved partying, and wasn’t used to going to bed so early, but his day had been an emotional rollercoaster, so he could feel sleepiness coming over him. He shook his head and tried to wake himself up, not wanting to close his eyes. He had everything he ever wanted to see right in front of him. Eventually, the warmth of Winn’s body and the tiredness of the day was too much for him, and he started to give in to his sleepy desires. 

“Goodnight, Winn,” Mon said quietly before kissing Winn on the cheek.

He was about to black out before he heard Winn whisper sleepily, “Goodnight, Chewbacca Mon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkyrIRyrRdY&spfreload=10  
> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments below, and stay tuned for more if you're liking this story.


	9. Maybe You Won't Die Alone

Winn watched Mon-El rub his hands together in anticipation as he poured him a glass of sweet, pure orange juice. Mon picked up his glass and gulped the drink greedily, before slamming it down on the table.

“Oh God, I’ve missed you,” He said, a borderline-orgasmic tone in his voice.

“What’s so special about orange juice?” Winn asked as he poured him another glass.

“Kara never lets me have any at the apartment,” Mon explained before drinking his freshly-filled glass, “She says there’s not enough to go around.”

“Well you’re in luck, because I'm pretty sure there’s enough here for the both of...” Winn started, but stopped as he saw Mon-El grab the carton and chug it all, gulping loudly as he consumed the drink. Once he was finished, he put it back down and looked up at Winn, the innocence in his eyes making it hard for Winn to get mad at him.

“What?” Mon asked curiously.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, you know,” Winn said as he brought over two bowls of cereal and joined Mon at the table.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Mon asked before spooning food into his mouth.

“Well, you and I have training first thing, but before that we should probably go tell Kara the good news.”

“Sounds good,” Mon told him.

“And hey, I’ve been meaning to bring this up since we started dating,” Winn started cautiously, “But when we’re at the DEO we should probably tone it down. You know, keep it PG?”

“Why?” Mon asked. “I thought you said things were cooler if they were rated R. And we weren’t exactly professional before we started dating, so I don’t see why things would have to change.”

“Yeah I know,” Winn started, “But I just don’t want J’onn walking in on us like making out or anything, or Kara catching us getting freaky…”

“Are you kidding me? All those sound amazing,” Mon said.

“Really?” Winn asked,

“Well on Daxam when a new couple got together it was tradition for them to publicly demonstrate their affection. You know, so everyone knew they were serious.”

“Well here that’s called Public Indecency and it’s pretty frowned upon,” Winn said, “Especially at work.”

“Frowned upon, you say?” Mon asked before shooting Winn with his pouty face.

“No, don’t give me the pouty face,” Winn pleaded, “You know I can’t say no to you when you give me the pouty face!”

“Yeah, that’s kinda the point,” Mon said smugly, “And I’m not gonna let anyone other than you tell me where or when we’re allowed to kiss.”

“We _are_ allowed to kiss,” Winn clarified, “A simple peck on the lips is fine. But one of our full on make-out sessions complete with grabbing and moaning and all the gymnastics might be a bit much.”

“I thought you liked the grabbing and moaning,” Mon said disheartedly.

“I do, but just not at work, okay? At here or in private it’s perfect. You feel me?”

“Yeah, everytime we kiss.”

“No- I mean do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Oh,” Mon said before shrugging, “ Yeah, I guess.”

“Thanks,” Winn told him, “And look, I know you’ve been making a lot of compromises lately, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. So, I’ve been thinking, how about tonight we meet up someplace nice and go on a date? And I’m not talkin’ just cuddling up on the couch, like I’m talkin’ a real, proper, romantic date that you deserve to go on. Would you be open to that?”

Mon laughed with happiness.

“Yeah,” he said, “I’d love to.”

“Great,” Winn said, “So we’ll meet up at 7?”

“Yeah sure,” Mon said, “And where did you have in mind?”

Winn thought hard, before deciding on something he thought would make his boyfriend happy.

“How about your choice?” Winn asked. “I know I’ve been calling the shots alot so far, so I’m giving you free reign.”

“Free reign?” Mon asked with a mischievous grin.

“Oh no,” Winn started.

“No take backs!” Mon exclaimed. “You gave me complete control, and I’m running with it. I’ll pick you up at 7, and we’ll walk over together.’

“Sounds good,” Winn said, “But can I just have some sort of hint as to where you plan on taking me?”

“I actually kind of don’t have an exact location _in mind_ ,” Mon said, dragging out his words in that cute, adorable way he did from time to time, “But I’m sure I’ll figure something out.”

“Great,” Winn said, not at all thinking his boyfriend had no idea what he was doing (hint: that’s definitely what he was thinking).

…

Winn and Mon-El walked into the elevator of the DEO together, holding hands as requested by Mon. He desperately wanted to show the world that Winn was his, but Winn wouldn’t let him do anything too racy, so they reached a compromise.

“Hey Winn,” Mon started, “So I know you don’t wanna do anything too intense while we’re at work, but technically speaking we’re not at work yet.”

“I like where this is going…” Winn started with a smirk.

“And you see, I’ve just got so much energy pent up right now. So, to avoid public indecency, as you say…”

“We should make out right now to get it all out of our systems,” Winn finished.

“Exactly,” Mon said before grabbing Winn’s shoulders and pushing him against the wall. Winn jumped and wrapped his legs around Mon’s waist again, allowing Mon to use his hands to feel Winn up. Winn undid the top buttons of Mon’s shirt, allowing him to bury his head in the Daxamite’s chest. Winn kissed the alien’s pecs, biting his soft chest hairs and stroking the areas of the massive muscles that he couldn’t fit in his mouth. Mon could tell that his chest was Winn’s favourite part of his body, so he made a mental note to work on it in training, to keep it in in tip top, perfect shape. Mon laughed with pleasure as Winn sucked on his chest and squeezed his biceps, getting more and more turned on with every touch. He wanted to do something to please Winn too, so he pushed his pelvis forward and started rubbing against him, causing Winn’s eyes to almost rolled into the back of his head as he moaned.

“This feels amazing,” Mon told him as he panted.

“I know,” Winn said breathlessly.

“So let’s go all the way,” Mon told him, “Right now. We can do it. I don’t care if we’re going too fast, because…”

“Mon-El, stop talking,” Winn said plainly as he took his head out of Mon’s chest.

“Why?” Mon asked.

“Please, just stop,” Winn said as he cocked his head to the elevator doors. Mon turned his head to them, only to notice something important: they weren’t closed. The entire DEO had stopped to stare at them, Alex included. Her jaw dropped, and she covered it with her hand.

“Hey,” Kara started as she walked in from the other end of the room, not yet noticing everyone’s demeanor, “What’s everyone so…”

Winn tried to jump off Mon’s body, but it was too late: the sight of them had already caught Kara’s attention. She turned to them, and her peppy expression changed into one of horror and shock. She screamed, closing her eyes and burying her head in her hands.

“NO NO NO NO! I DON’T WANNA SEE THIS! OH RAO, IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN!” She ran away from the scene of the crime like a buffalo in a stampede.

“Wait, Kara!” Mon called as he removed himself from Winn and chased after her. He followed her to a broom closet and knocked on the door.

“Kara, I don’t understand,” Mon began, “Aren’t you happy for us?”

“Happy?! You expect me to be happy after seeing that?!”

“Well, yeah. You said you wanted us together, didn’t you?”

“Not like that, and not at work! Didn’t Winn teach you about public indecency?”

“Yes, several useless times,” Mon said with a roll of his eyes.

“Mon-El!” Winn called as he ran up to him.

“Look, babe, I’m really sorry about that,” Mon said apologetically.

“Don’t be, it’s not like you wanted this to happen…” Winn paused for a few seconds. “Wait, did you?”

“Well like I said, it’s a tradition where I come from for new couples to show their affection, but you stated very clearly that you didn’t want that. I would never trick you into doing something that would make you uncomfortable. And if I'm being completely honest, I only wanted people to see us like that because...well, I don’t want _them_ to know we’re serious; I want you to know. Look, I know you think I’m just a frat boy (is that the right word?), so I thought if I showed to you I was willing to do this sorta thing in public, then you’d believe how committed I am to you. Ever since I landed on Earth I’ve kinda been floating around from woman to woman, so I just wanna show you that I’m serious about us and that I don’t want that anymore.”

“Aww, that’s actually kinda sweet,” Winn said, “but you don’t need PDA to show me you’re serious; you’re already doing that by by taking care of our date tonight.”

“Right,” Mon said, “Our date tonight. I’ll show you then.”

“Damn right,” Winn said with a small smile.

“I’m sorry, Winn,” Mon told him, “I really am.”

Winn shrugged.

“I guess maybe I was overreacting. I’m sure one day we’ll look back and laugh about it. I mean, it’s not like J’onn saw us or anything…”

“Why does everyone look paralyzed by fear?” A deep voice asked.

Mon immediately recognized the owner and started doing up the buttons on his shirt as quickly as possible, while Winn just stood there, not moving a muscle.

“Agent Schott?” J’onn asked.

“Yes sir!” Winn said as he turned around and faced him, strategically positioning himself so he could cover Mon while he was getting ready to look normal again.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in training with Mon-El?” J’onn asked, suspicion arousing in his voice.

“Um- ye-yeah!” Winn said as he turned to face Mon, “Babe- uhh I mean, dude- would you like to head to training?”

“Why are you acting so…” J’onn said, before his eyes widened and glowed red. He paused for a moment, the muscles of his face twitching with disgust.

“Boss? What’s wrong?” Winn asked before turning to Mon, a look of realization on his red face, “Telepath. He’s- he’s a telepath. That’s great.”

“Agents…” J’onn said slowly as his eyes stopped glowing, “Please refrain from doing that while at work. _Ever again_.”

“Absolutely!” Winn said. “One time thing! Promise it won’t happen again.”

“Good to know,” J’onn said, “And clean yourselves up. You look like you were tossed in a laundry machine.”

“Yes, sir. We’ll- we’ll get right on that.”

J’onn walked away from them, before Kara opened the door to the broom closet and exited.

“Sorry about that, Kara,” Winn said apologetically.

“It’s okay,” She said, her voice weak and tinged with disgust, as if she’d just thrown up. She shook herself, and then a smile appeared on her face as she apparently finally processed what their kiss meant.

“Winn, Mon, congratulations!” She exclaimed, laughing happily as she hugged her friends tightly. “So, how’d it finally happen?”

“Well, we were…” Winn started.

“...We were…” Mon started.

“...Oh, I’m sorry; do you wanna tell it?” Winn asked.

“Babe, that’s so sweet, but it’s okay; you can tell it.”

Kara was watching them banter with tears in her eyes.

“They grow up so fast,” She said, “I’m really happy for you guys.”

“Thanks, Kara,” Winn said.

A look of realization came onto Kara’s face.

“Wait, you guys have a date tonight, right?” Kara remembered as she grabbed Winn by the arm and dragged him away. “I’ll help you get ready.”

“Actually,” Mon said as he pulled Winn back, “We have to train right now.”

“Oh right,” Kara remembered, “Sorry.”

Mon held onto Winn’s arm protectively, letting him know that he’d never let Kara take him away. Winn shook himself out of his hold, but there was a look on his face that made it clear that wasn’t what he really wanted to do.

“Can I come find you after work then?” Kara asked Winn.

“Yeah sure,” Winn told her.

“Great,” Kara said, waving goodbye as she parted ways with her friends. It wasn’t long before Mon took Winn’s hand and walked with him to the training room, shutting the door for privacy.

“So,” He started with a smile, “You wanna pick things up where we left off?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Winn said, a bit too plainly for Mon’s taste, but that didn’t deter him from leaning in to claim Winn’s lips. Much to his surprise, that didn’t happen because Winn walked around him.

“Okay, so I think last time you did pullups,” Winn started as he looked down at his tablet, “So do you wanna continue with that or try something else?”

“Something else,” Mon said disheartedly; Winn’s tablet had helped him get into Harley’s cell, so he was on better terms with it now, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still want to throw it into the sun for taking Winn’s attention away all the time.

“Alright,” Winn said as he placed his tablet down on a nearby table, “I’ll get things set up.”

As Winn walked away, Mon turned to look at Winn’s tablet as an idea popped into his head. He swatted it off the table, causing it to crash to the floor with a thud.

“Oh my God, babe I’m so sorry,” Mon started apologetically, “You know how out of whack my powers can get.”

“Oh don’t worry,” Winn said as he picked it up off the floor, “It’s fine. J’onn figured an accident like this would happen, so he had it built to resist even you.”

“Great,” Mon said, trying not to let his forced smile reveal his clenched teeth.

Once Winn was finished setting up the equipment, he grabbed his tablet again and said, “Whenever you’re ready.”

Mon looked around, trying to figure out what he should do to impress Winn, and hopefully take back his attention. He figured he’d try bench pressing; that always turned Winn on. He layed down on the table and picked up the bar, bringing it to his chest and then back up again effortlessly. He snuck a glance at Winn, who wasn’t even paying attention. _This isn’t working_ , he thought to himself as he put back the bar and got up off the bench, before making his way to the cinder blocks. He’d worked with them in almost every training session since he and Winn met, so crushing them was becoming kind of tedious. But then again, every time he did it Winn praised him; maybe the same thing would happen now. He placed one on the block and smashed it into pieces, before looked over at Winn, who still wasn’t paying attention. He thought about trying something new, but decided against it; nothing seemed to be working. Was Winn bored of him already? They’d just started dating. He sighed and sat down on the floor, slouching as he started to fiddle with his thumbs.

…

_Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look,_ Winn thought over and over again. He knew if he looked at Mon-El working out he’d desperately want to kiss him, something that was out of the question. Training was supposed to be serious; it was how he checked to see if Mon’s powers were draining, getting stronger, or staying the same. He wasn’t thinking about any of that; all he could concentrate on was how hot his boyfriend was, and how much he wanted to grab him and make out with him again and again. _Stay strong,_ he thought to himself, _you can do this. Oh, and whatever you do, don’t look at how he smiles at you, or how his biceps bulge out of his sleeves, or how his eyes sparkle. And also don’t think about how he’s curious and innocent but also confident and sexy, or how those shouldn’t mix but somehow do and it’s adorable and...I’m helpless, aren’t I?_ Winn had to take his eyes off his tablet; he’d stared at it so intensely for so long that he felt like his eyeballs would burn and melt out of their sockets. When he looked up, he saw Mon-El siting on the floor, his back hunched and his eyes sad.

“Mon-El,” Winn started, “What’s wrong?”

“I’d really appreciate if you wouldn’t treat me like I’m invisible,” Mon said, seeming somewhere between depressed and frustrated.

“Oh babe,” Winn said as he sat down next to him, “I am paying attention to you, it’s just that if I actually look at you instead of just focusing on your results then I get really turned on, and I can’t have that and work because then I’ll start kissing you and you’ll start kissing me and then I won’t pay attention to what’s happening with your powers and then if something’s wrong with them and then something happens to you that I should’ve seen but I didn’t I’ll hate myself forever and…”

Mon leaned forward and kissed him passionately, and Winn’s worries instantly melted away.

“You should never worry about wanting to kiss me,” Mon told him sincerely, “It’s what boyfriends are for.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Winn said.

“Now,” Mon said as he got up, clapping his hands together before saying, “Let’s be serious.”

“Yeah,” Winn said.

Mon put on his best fake scowl, which looked so ridiculous that Winn started bursting out in laughter.

“This isn’t serious?” Mon asked with a smile as he pointed to his face.

“Nope,” Winn answered as he pulled himself together.

“Oh well,” Mon said with a half smile and a tilt of his head, “Being serious is overrated.”

“Not always,” Winn said, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love how you lighten the mood sometimes, but just know that there will be certain subjects that I won’t want you to lighten the mood about.”

“Yeah, of course,” Mon said, but Winn wasn’t convinced he understood. He was sure this would lead to some problems down the road, but as Mon pulled him to his feet and took him into his arms, for one of the only times in his life he figured he’d live in the moment, without worrying about the future. And it felt amazing.

…

 

“So I’m going back to my place to meet up with Kara,” Winn told Mon-El at the end of the work day, “But I’ll see you at seven?”

“Definitely” Mon said.

“And you’ve like, got our date covered…” Winn started.

“Babe,” Mon said sincerely as he took Winn’s hands and brought them to his lips, “I’ve got this.”

“Okay,” Winn said as he separated himself from Mon, “See you tonight.”

“ _You bet,_ ” Mon said, dragging out his words and adding a small smile, “See you tonight.”

The two parted ways, and Mon was left by himself at Winn’s desk, smiling happily. _So,_ he thought to himself, _where do I take Winn?_ To be honest, he had no clue. But he still had a while to go, which was definitely a good thing. He glanced over at Winn’s computer screen to find out what time it was, before uncovering something disturbing: it was five pm, meaning he had only two hours to get everything ready. His heart started beating like crazy, and his mind was suddenly flooded with questions. Where would be a good spot to take Winn? What were they supposed to do during their date? What was the dress code? What was considered romantic? He needed serious help, but Kara was off with Winn. That made sense, especially since she was _his_ best friend, but still; she had been helping Mon out for so long, and now she had just completely left him to his own devices. It wasn’t fair; how was he supposed to give Winn the date he deserved without even knowing exactly what a date on Earth was? He would need someone romantic, someone who knew Winn well enough to know what he liked. James? No, he never got along too well with him. There was something about Mon that just seemed to get on James’ nerves, and he couldn’t figure out why for the life of him. Anyways, figuring out James’ grudge against him could wait; figuring out what the hell to do with Winn on their date, on the other hand, was hella urgent. He was getting so nervous he was fiddling with his thumbs, which caused him to notice the almost-but-not-quite-yet washed off ink on the back of his hand. He brought it closer to him, and instantly recognized it as the codes to Harley’s cell he had copied from Winn’s tablet. Maybe she could help him. She seemed romantic, she definitely knew Winn well enough, and he had already asked her for advice once before. He got up and walked over to the containment area, trying not to draw too much attention to himself as he entered the codes for her cell. He entered the room, and the sight of pastel pink and blue against platinum blonde immediately caught his eyes.

“Twice in two days?” Harley asked teasingly. “Ta what do I owe this pleasah?”

“I need help,” Mon said desperately as he sat down in front of her cell, “Winn and I are going on a date, and I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do.”

“That’s easy,” Harley said plainly, “Just get him ta take care of it all.”

“I already told him I’d plan it,” Mon explained.

“Why the hell would you do that?” Harley asked.

“Cause I need to show him I’m serious about wanting to be together.”

“Didn’t ya just do that?” Harley asked. “Ya showed him how yer serious side by comforting him after his panic attack, so why do you still feel the need to do it again?”

“I’ve been asking for some things lately, and I think it’s been making him question why I’m in this relationship.”

“What sorta things?” Harley asked as she leaned in curiously.

Mon sighed; he wasn’t sure if he was comfortable enough around Harley to discuss his sex life, but what choice did he have?”

“I’ve been asking to have sex. Like a lot.”

“And you guys haven’t done it yet?”

“No, he’s saying he wants to wait until after the second date. So we don’t go too fast.”

“Well that’s a loada bullshit,” Harley said, “He’s just sayin’ that cuz he’s afraid of fallin’ for you. The way he sees it, giving you sex represents placing his emotional well being in your control. He’s worried that if he gives you too much power too soon, it could backfire.”

“I never thought of it like that,” Mon admitted.

“Yeah, cuz it’s stupid,” Harley said, “Sex shouldn’t be such a big deal; it should be fun, and light, not symbolic of the act of submission or whatever _Fifty Shades_ shit he’s thinkin’ of.”

“Oh my God, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell him!” Mon exclaimed, before adding, “Not that what he feels is stupid, I mean the part about sex being fun.”

“Glad ta help,” Harley said, “But if I may, why do you wanna have sex so much?”

“Well like you said: it’s fun,” Mon told her.

“Nah, that’s not quite it,” Harley said, “Could it have anything ta do with why yer sein’ me?”

“I’m not seeing you about anything sex related,” Mon clarified, “I know all about that. What I need help with is planning a date, which I know nothing about! I mean, where should we….how should we....why should we...”

“K calm down before you hurt yourself,” Harley said, “Breathe in, breathe out.”

Mon inhaled and exhaled, feeling his chest rise and fall as he began to relax.

“Good,” Harley said, “Now, what can I do for ya?”

“To start, I need to know where to take Winn. Where do people go on one of these dates?”

“Well, some people go to a movie. I’m sure Winn would like that.”

“Yeah, but we spend every night watching movies; I want something different for our date, something a bit more special.”

“Good call,” Harley agreed, “You guys could go to a restaurant and have dinner?”

“No,” Mon said, “Too public. It’ll make him uncomfortable.”

“Okay,” Harley said, “Well, what about a picnic?”

“In the half-melted snow?”

“What about a concert?”

“Not a fan of his taste in music.”

“A play?”

“That’s basically a movie on stage.”

“A painting class or something?”

“Boring.”

“Museum?”

“Even more boring.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell do you want, then?!”

“I don’t know, okay? I really don’t know! I thought I knew how to please Winn, but I don’t! I really, really just want to make him happy, but if I’m not on top of him, I don’t know how to do that. That’s why I wanna have sex. Because I don’t know how else to be a good boyfriend to him.”

Harley looked taken aback, her eyes wide with surprise and a hint of intrigue. For a therapist like her, psychoanalyzing Mon-El must’ve been like searching for treasure in the Cave of Wonders.

“Well why don’t ya just tell him that?” Harley asked.

“Tell him I’m freaking out over wanting to please him?”

“Yeah,” Harley said, “Right now, he thinks you wanna have sex with him just for your own benefit. If ya tell him how you really feel, he’ll see how much you care about him.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Mon admitted, before sighing and rolling his eyes, “But I really just wanted tonight to be fun! I mean, our relationship has had so many ups and downs in just two days, do I really wanna start bringing my emotions into the one night when we can relax?”

“I hear ya,” Harley said, “But think of it like this: if you get it over with, you can spend the resta the night your way.”

Mon took a moment to think.

“Oh fine,” Mon finally pouted, “I’ll tell him how I feel.”

“Good,” Harley said, “Now, back onta where you should take Winn; was there _anything_ you liked about what I mentioned?”

“Well, I guess I like the idea of having dinner with him,” He said, “And movies with him _are_ always fun, and come to think of it some music wouldn’t be that bad…”

Mon paused for a moment, a pensive look on his face.

“What?” Harley asked.

“I got it! I’ll just take the parts of the dating activities that I like, take out the parts I don’t, and mix them all together!”

“And how do you plan to do that?” Harley asked.

“I’ll find a way into his apartment early, decorate it so it looks nice, cook something for him, and then we’ll have dinner there. I'll play some music, and after I’ll let him choose a movie so we can cuddle like we do every other night.”

“Huh,” Harley said to herself, “That’s not bad.”

“Thanks so much,” Mon said before getting up to leave the room. He hadn’t even stepped out the door before thousands of questions suddenly materialized in his mind. Sure, he would decorate the apartment romantically, but what was considered romantic? And sure, he and Winn would spend the night talking, but what should they talk about? What should he cook? He immediately turned around and sat back down in front of Harley.

“How do I…”

“Just stop,” She told him, “Yer overthinkin’ it. Don’t get stressed out about your date; like you said, it’s supposed ta be fun.”

“But how do I…”

“Shhh,” Harley instructed, “Close your eyes.”

Mon closed his eyes, and saw pure darkness.

“Picture Winn’s apartment, and how you imagine it lookin’ tonight.”

“But…”

“Shut up!”

Mon thought hard about the place he had spent the last two nights and mornings at, and eventually Winn’s apartment materialized around him. He was sitting at a table, two candles in the middle and a glass of red wine for him and ...Winn. Winn was sitting at the opposite end of the table, smiling and looking so handsome in a plaid shirt.

“ _Gaze at the person across from you now,”_ Harley’s voice sang.

_Feel the sweet spark of connection_

_If you don't screw up this moment somehow_

_Maybe you won't die alone,”_

“Ouch,” Mon muttered under his breath, before remembering why he was so stressed out in the first place. His mind became clouded with questions. What kind of food should he picture? How would he cook it? All he knew how to make were pancakes!

“What should I…”

“ _Don't be too needy or bring up your ex_

_Don't say the words: ‘Herpes Simplex’ ”_

“What the…”

“ _Don't ever mention how much you have sex_

_Trust me, I promise, he knows”_

Mon felt himself relax; he still didn’t know exactly what to do other than to stare into Winn’s eyes and cook something, but at least he knew what not to do, which was a start. He looked across from him, the sight of his love catching his eyes. He realized something: all the specifics didn’t matter. What mattered was Winn, and he’d be damned if he didn’t pull out all the stops in giving Winn the best date he’d ever been on.

_“And now his defenses are starting to fall_

_Smile and return his affection_

_If you don't manage to ruin it all_

_Maybe you won't die alone”_ Harley finished.

Mon opened his eyes, a bright white light dissolving his dream world and making him wince as his pupils adjusted.

“You good?” Harley asked.

“Yeah, thanks,” Mon said as he got up.

“Anytime,” Harley called out as he left the room.

…

James was sitting at the big desk in his office, trying to concentrate on his work. It was hard, since he had like a million small tv screens behind him. He had no clue how Cat had managed to stay focused, but he would have to learn since her job was his now. He only had the position for a few months, but he was getting pretty good at it, all things considered. He had just started to concentrate when he suddenly heard a familiar, gut-wrenching voice call his name. He looked up, and sure enough he saw Mon-El, the cocky, irresponsible, reckless shitbag of a frat boy who had landed on Earth a few months ago. James’s stomach churned, and his fists clenched. Ever since his arrival, Mon had invaded every group hangout, and had hogged Winn all to himself. James barely got to see Winn at all during the holidays, and even less lately. It wasn’t fair; he had counted on Winn to help him out as the Guardian, but lately he’d been protecting the city all by himself. And it was all thanks to Mon, who had the nerve to come see James at the only place where he didn’t have to stomach the obnoxiousness that was the Daxamite. James had no clue why everyone seemed to love Mon. Was it the way his eyes shined behind the lenses of his fake glasses, or the heart-melting smiles he always flashed in everyone’s direction? Maybe, but still: Winn deserved a better friend, someone who was responsible like James, and who could be a shoulder to cry on. Someone who Winn wouldn’t have to babysit every time they hung out.

“What do you want, Mon-El?” James asked.

“So I was wondering if…” Mon started, taking a seat on the chair in front of James’ desk.

“You can stand,” James said coldly.

“Okay?” Mon said as he stood up, clearly weirded out that James wasn’t falling head over heels for him like everyone else. “I was wondering if you could help me out with something. Winn and I are going on a date tonight…”

“Wait hold up,” James started, not even trying to stop his anger and disgust from showing in his voice , “You and Winn are... _dating_?”

“Yeah, you didn’t hear? Oh that’s right, you weren’t at the DEO this morning...oh my God, hilarious story, by the way. So Winn and I are in the elevator, and his legs are around my waist and his mouth is on my chest… I mean, we were going at it _hard_ ….”

“Ah! I don’t wanna know!” James said, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.

“Wow, so public displays of affection make you uncomfortable too, huh? Crazy. Winn feels the same way,” Mon said, before laughing, “You guys have so much in common, maybe you should be dating him.”

“Yeah,” James started disheartedly, “Maybe I should be.”

“Anyways,” Mon restarted, “So we’re going on a date tonight…”

Cue stomach churn.

“...but I’m like really, really nervous because it’s our first one, and I know I shouldn’t but I’m really hoping he wants to fuck me by the end of the night…”

Cue gag reflex.

“...but before that, I need to worry about setting up his apartment. He and Kara are probably there right now, and I need you to get them out for a while. Just keep them busy until 7. You can tell Kara why, but _don’t tell Winn_. Can you pretend there’s some kind of emergency and you need Winn to help out?”

Cue spit take.

“Sure,” James said sarcastically, “I’ll just lie to my two best friends so you can break into Winn’s home.”

“Great, thanks,” Mon said as he started to walk out the door.

“Hey! I was joking!” James clarified angrily. “There’s no way I’m doing that.”

Mon turned around and grumbled to himself.

“Why not?” He pouted. “Can’t you help a friend out?”

“We’re not friends,” James reminded.

“We’re not?” Mon asked curiously.

“Of course not,” James said.

“Oh,” Mon said, sounding a bit disappointed, “But still: enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?”

“That makes no sense in this situation,” James said.

“Come on!” Mon pouted, “It’ll make him so happy. Just imagine it: Winn smiling like he always does when he’s pleased, his eyes shining like diamonds...”

James winced at Mon’s tone. It was so sincere, so pure. He could tell Mon was serious about wanting Winn to be happy, which made him feel like shit. He used to be able to say, “Well Mon-El may be fun, but he only cares about himself,” but looking at the alien at that moment, he knew that wasn’t true. Fine, so maybe Mon wasn’t so selfish, but that didn’t excuse his laziness. Kara once told James horror stories about living with Mon; she practically had to wipe his ass for him. How was he supposed to be a good boyfriend to Winn?

“Fine,” James said, figuring the least he could do was give Mon a fighting chance with Winn, “I’ll help you.”

“Thanks so much,” Mon said as he started to leave, but found himself retreating back to James’ desk.

“What now?” James asked.

“I wanna know, what’s a romantic food? You see, I’m making him dinner tonight, and the only thing I know how to make are pancakes, but that’s not really a dinner-thing…”

“Wait, you’re making him dinner?” James asked.

“Yeah, of course,” Mon replied, as if the answer were obvious.

James’ teeth gritted against each other. Okay, so maybe Mon wasn’t _that_ lazy. It didn’t matter; he may have been cooking for Winn, but there was no way in hell he was gonna clean up. He’d probably let Winn do that, who’d be so enchanted by Mon’s smile and big muscles to protest.

“Cook steak,” James muttered.

“Steak? I’ll have to find out what that is, and...oh yeah, and after dinner I’m gonna ask him to sit on the couch while I clean up, and then I’ll let him chose a movie so we can cuddle…”

“Wait…”

“...you keep asking me to wait; I’m not going anywhere...”

“You’re cleaning up too?”

“Definitely. I wouldn’t make Winn do that on our date night.”

Fine, so maybe Winn was changing him. But there was still no way he would let Winn chose the movie.

“So like I was saying, I’ll let him pick the movie and then we’ll sit on the couch and bury ourselves in blankets…”

_Motherfucker!_

“...And then hopefully we’ll have sex.”

Bingo. Since dating Winn, Mon had gotten more responsible, but he was no less obsessed with having fun. Finally, a flaw that would stick.

“Anyways, so you’ll help me out?”

“Yeah, I’ll think of something.”

“Thanks,” Mon said as he started to leave, hopefully for the last time, “Bye!”

James waved him off, and soon enough peace and quiet were restored to his life.

“Thank God,” He said with a sigh, before looking out the window. The sky was rainy and dark, but it was well lit by the stars and city lights. He usually loved the view; it reminded him of the city he protected at night. At that moment, it just seemed depressing. He wheeled his chair away from it, and went back to focusing on his work, trying not to think about how later that evening, he’d be helping out Mon-El of all people. A year ago, he was a photojournalist competing with Winn for Kara’s affections. Now, he was acting CEO of Catco, and was sitting around feeling sorry for himself because Winn was dating a space puppy. Life was weird.

...

Kara entered Winn’s apartment, jumping up and down with glee as Winn shut the door behind them. Winn started to pace, and it wasn’t long until Kara’s joyful attitude got on his nerves.

“Why are you so excited?” Winn asked. “It’s not like _you’re_ going on a date.”

“I know,” Kara said, “But _you’re_ going on a date, and it’s your first one with Mon-El, and you two will be so cute and happy together...ooh! I just love love, you know?”

“Sure,” Winn said as he continued to pace.

“What’s wrong?” Kara asked as she stopped jumping. “Aren’t you excited for tonight?”

“Yeah I am, but I’m also really nervous. I mean, what if I do something wrong and everything is ruined for us? Maybe we should just stick to watching movies on the couch…”

“Winn, it’s good you two are doing something romantic. Don’t get me wrong, cuddling is amazing, but there’s nothing quite like a date, especially a first one. Savour it, so you can always remember it.”

“Jeez, you should be a spokesperson for Tinder,” Winn said.

“Glad your sense of humour hasn’t gone anywhere,” Kara said, “So, first things first: what are you gonna wear?”

“I don’t know. I was thinking about a suit, but I wore one on the night of our first kiss; I don’t want it to lose it’s power.”

“True,” Kara agreed, “How about a plaid dress shirt, some nice pants, and a bowtie?”

“Sounds good,” Winn said as he and Kara made their way to his closet.

They spent the next few hours debating which shirt fit best with which pair of pants, and when that was over Kara insisted on giving Winn a fresh hair cut. If Winn was stressed out because of choosing what to wear, having to sit still while Kara heat-visioned his excess hair off would’ve been terrifying.

“You really don’t have to do this…” Winn started.

“Oh, shut up and sit still!” Kara exclaimed.

Once she was done, she brought over a hand mirror to show Winn his new look. He was shocked; his hair actually looked...good?

“This is so weird,” He said to himself.

“You don’t like it? I can change the…”

“No!” Winn exclaimed, before adding, “I- I like it this way.”

Kara shrieked and hugged Winn, being careful not to mess up his hairdo in the process. She broke apart, before asking, “So, are you excited?”

“Yeah,” Winn said as he sat down on his couch, “I’m just still a bit worried about some things.”

“Like what?” Kara asked before joining him.

“Well, Mon-El wants us to have sex, but I don’t really know if I’m ready.”

“So don’t,” Kara said, “I’m sure he’ll understand. Although if I may ask, why don’t you feel like you’re ready?”

“Well Kara, we’ve haven’t even been dating for two days; I don’t wanna rush into things. Also, he’s an alien; who knows what kinda kinky shit he’s into.”

“Please,” Kara said, “Don’t act like you’re so innocent. Is that really why, though?”

Winn sighed.

“It’s just that he keeps mentioning it so much,” Winn started, “I’m starting to wonder if that’s the only reason he wants to be with me.”

“Winn,” Kara started, “You didn’t see him on the night of Lena’s gala; he cares about you, and not just for sex. Besides, on Daxam sex wasn’t such a big deal, from what I’ve heard. To him, having sex is like watching a movie, or going on a stroll through the park; it’s just something fun he wants to do with you. That doesn’t mean it’s not special to him, though.”

“I guess,” Winn said, “but still: to me, it’s more than that. It’s me putting myself in his control for the night, and showing him that I trust him.”

“But you do, don’t you?”

Winn looked at her sincerely.

“I don’t know. I mean, time and time again he’s shown me I can, but I just…”

Winn paused for a few moments.

“Just what?” Kara asked.

Winn sighed.

“I just have trouble trusting anyone after what happened with my parents. I just think...like, if my own mom had no problem leaving me like she did, then why would Mon? Or you?”

“I’m not like her,” Kara said, “and neither is Mon-El. Your parents are just two people; you have me, and Mon, and James, and Alex and Maggie and even Harley. We would never leave you. We’ll always be right here when you need us. Don’t have sex with Mon if you’re not ready, but don’t be afraid to get close to him because of what your parents did.”

“I just have really bad trust issues,” Winn said.

“I know,” Kara said, “I know it’s not the same, but it was hard for me to trust Lena at first, too. No matter how many times she’s proven she’s not like her family, I kept thinking, ‘What if she’s lying? What if it’s all just a ruse to get me close to her?’”

“Well, how’d you learn to trust her?”

“Time,” Kara said.

“You had sex on your first date.”

“Yeah, a few months of platonic hangouts plus one night was enough for me. Look, take as much time as you need to trust Mon, but know you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. I know your parents hurt you, but you can’t let them rule your life forever. At some point, you gotta take a leap and hope it pays off.”

“And if that leap involves chains and whips and blindfolds am I supposed to just, what, roll with it?”

“If it’s what you want, sure,” Kara said, “But I’m not sure Mon-El is into that sorta stuff. I mean, if you have to worry about anything I’d say it would be his strength. But you said he’s okay now, right?”

“Yeah,” Winn said, “Totally.”

“Then you’re all set,” Kara said, “Well, when you’re ready.”

“And how am I supposed to know when I’m ready? In every other relationship I’ve been in I would always wait until at least after the second date before getting too serious.”

“Well I’m pretty sure in every other relationship you’ve been in, you weren’t dating a Daxamite,” Kara said, “Look, what you and Mon-El have is different than anything you or he have every been in. And it’s okay if things happen a little differently than they do every other time. That’s what makes love exciting; it’s different every time. You can’t force things into a cookie-cutter mold just cause it’s what you’ve done before.”

“Well thanks for the advice, Kara,” Winn said, “But I still think I’ll wait a bit.”

“Okay,” Kara said, “If it’s what you want.”

It wasn’t long before they heard a knock on the door.

“Winn, it’s James,” James said from the other side.

Winn walked to the door, curious to know what could’ve brought his friend there. He opened the door and asked, “Hey, don’t you have work?”

“Yeah,” James said, “But I need your help.”

“Can it wait?” Winn asked. “I’m going on a date with Mon-El tonight; I don’t really have time to be your man in the van.”

“Look,” James started, something in his voice suggesting he was very annoyed and very irritated, “Believe me when I tell you that I wouldn’t ask if I had any other choice. I think someone’s been hacking into our servers at Catco, cause all our exclusives have leaked to other news outlets.”

“Oh shit!” Kara exclaimed. “Even mine?”

“Yeah,” James said, “Look Winn, it’s bad. I could really, really use your help. You’re kind of an expert on this sorta thing.”

“That I am,” Winn said with a small, proud smile, “I guess I could help you. I have a bit to go until my date.”

“Thanks,” James said as Winn grabbed his coat.

“Don’t mention it,” Winn said, before turning to Kara and saying, “Thank-you so much for helping me.”

“No problem,” Kara said after taking deep breaths to calm herself down,“Just have fun tonight, okay? Let loose, and don’t be afraid to get close.”

“Right,” Winn said, “I’ll do that.”

“Good luck,” Kara said as grabbed her coat and walked out the door.

“Bye!” Winn called as he went his own way.

“Bye!” Kara called back.

…

Kara had stayed behind at Winn’s front door, just until she finished texting Snapper about the leak. Even though she spent most of her time at the DEO, she was still a reporter at Catco. The two jobs went hand in hand, actually, since all she had to do was fight crime and then write an article about it. Easy peasy, pudding and pie. Her role as Supergirl even gave her an edge against the other reporters, since she was the only one who knew every last detail of Supergirl’s battles. The only problem was that now someone else had access to those every last details, and something told her that if she didn’t retrieve her leaked articles, she would lose the one thing she had against the other, more experienced reporters.

“ _Do you know who leaked the exclusives? Was it a mole? Was it the Planet? Is there any way of getting them back?”_ She texted.

“ _?_ ” Snapper texted immediately.

“ _Come on, you know what I’m talking about. Don’t make me seem crazy.”_

_“Doing that all by yourself, Ponytail,”_ He texted back.

“UGH!” Kara screamed.

She was about to stomp her way to the elevator when she heard a noise coming from Winn’s balcony. She looked at the door and concentrated, using her X-ray vision to see who was in the apartment.

“Mon-El?” She asked herself confusedly as she twisted the knob and entered the apartment.

“Mon? What the hell are you doing here?” Kara asked.

“Kara,” Mon started, seeming confused, “You were supposed to be out.”

“Why?” Kara asked, before using her reporter skills to pick up on some details. First of all, Mon was dressed in his fake glasses and bowtie, a combo he knew Winn couldn’t resist. Second of all, he was carrying a ton of bags, and when she examined them further she could see that they were stuffed with bottles of expensive red wine, candles, and miscellaneous ingredients.

“Mon-El,” Kara started, “Are you and Winn having your date _here_?”

“Yeah,” He said, “I know he doesn’t like showing his affection in public, so I figured he’d be more at ease here. You know, in the comfort of his own home and all?”

“Aww, that’s actually really sweet,” Kara said, “But take your time; Winn’s busy for a while.”

“Really?” Mon asked. “Huh, so James came through after all.”

“Wait- so there was no attack on Catco?”

“Of course not, I just needed to get Winn out for long enough.”

Kara punched his arm, causing him to wince as he set down his bags.

“Hey! What was that for?” He pouted, his puppy eyes sorrowful and his lips quivering.

“I was freaking out!” She cried out.

“Well stay away from my biceps; I’m trying to have sex with Winn tonight, and I don’t wanna be all bruised...well, at least not before _he_ gets to me.”

Kara shivered.

“Anyways,” He said, “So thanks for dropping by, but there’s a lot of work to be done before Winn gets back.”

Mon carried his bags into Winn’s kitchen, before setting them down on the counter. He took out his ingredients and began to sort them into some highly disorganized piles.

“Do you need my help?” Kara asked.

“No thanks,” Mon said, “I’m trying to show Winn my love for him by doing it myself.”

“Wow, you’re really serious about this,” Kara observed,

“Of course,” Mon said, “Why does that surprise you?”

“No reason,” Kara said, “It’s just that you’ve only been dating Winn for a short time, but this is the most motivated I’ve ever seen you.”

“Well you know what they say, you gotta nail the first date before you can nail your boyfriend.”

Kara wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be impressed with his understanding of metaphors or grossed out that her roommate was talking about her best friend like a low-level porn author.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever said that. Like ever.”

“Huh,” He said to himself with a cock of his head, “Well anyways, like I said: lot of work to be done, so I’d appreciate it if you’d just let me do my own thing for once.”

“What are you talking about? I always let you do your own thing,” Kara defended.

“Right,” Mon said, “Like that time you literally made me dress up and act like you?”

“Yeah, to protect your identity!” Kara exclaimed, “And if dressing up like me is such a travesty, than what’s with the glasses?”

Mon took them off and looked down at them, before putting them back on his head.

“I think Winn has a kink for them,” He said.

Kara felt the bile rising to her throat, and she gagged as she thought about how much that would make sense. Winn had a thing for Mon-El, and Clark and...her. She immediately took off her glasses and threw them down on the floor, feeling like the Wicked Witch after doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

“Ew,” Kara said, “I think I’ll just leave.”

She was halfway out the door when Mon-El called teasingly, “Don’t forget your glasses!” She dashed inside, picked them up, and then yelled, “Screw you!” before slamming the door shut.

…

Mon-El chuckled to himself as Kara shut the door, not being able to help feeling satisfied at having made her so uncomfortable. To be fair though, it was kinda his turn. For months he had tagged along with Kara and friends at hangouts and get togethers, and although she did her best to make him feel included, she would always end up ditching him and spending the night with Alex and Maggie. It really was only Winn who ever made him feel welcome. Don’t get him wrong, Alex was kind, and Maggie was open and all, and James was...standoffish to be honest, but Winn actually made an effort to speak to him and make him feel apart of the gang. _Winn_ . If kindness, warmth, humour and sexiness ever took on a physical form, it would be Winn. He looked out the window, and thought more about his boyfriend, how much he loved him and how much he wanted to show that. He took out a recipe from his pocket and put it on the table, taking mental notes of what he had to do first.

“Okay,” He said to himself, “I can do this.”

Mon took one final glance out the window, imagining Winn’s smile and shiny eyes as motivation to get him going.

“Don’t worry, babe,” He said quietly, “I’m finally gonna take care of you. I’m finally gonna give you what you deserve, you sexy little nerd. Because I see how perfect you are, and tonight, I’m gonna make sure you do too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe You Won't Die Alone (Galavant): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pwv_ze5_Uw  
> Ends at 1:22. So my editor is really swamped right now, and I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to upload the next chapter. It shouldn't be that much longer than usual, though. Anyways, hope you liked this chapter, and hopefully you'll stick around for the rest.


	10. Fooled Around and Fell In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never, right?

As soon as the elevator doors swung open, Winn bolted outside and ran to his apartment, biting his nails nervously as he thought of how much trouble he was in. It was a bit past 7, and he was sure Mon-El would be at his door waiting for him like the lost puppy he was. He was pretty pissed at James. He knew his friend didn’t like Mon-El that much, but to make him late for his date was just immature. Now, thanks to James’ imaginary hacker problem, Mon would probably think he stood him up. He had his apology speech all planned out when he got to the door and saw that his boyfriend wasn’t there.

“Huh, that’s weird,” Winn said to himself as he pulled out his keys, hoping that Mon would show up soon. He unlocked the door and yanked it open, ready to turn on the lights before he saw that his apartment was already pretty well lit. When he looked closer, he could see why: a thousand flaming candles were laid out perfectly, giving his usually dull kitchen romantic vibes that could rival a Nicholas Sparks novel. He scanned his apartment, and eventually saw Mon-El sitting at the table, his eyes lighting up like Christmas trees as soon as Winn walked in the room. He was wearing a dark blue dress shirt and a tight pair of black jeans, not to mention the usual bowtie and glasses.

“Mon-El,” Winn started, “What- what are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Mon asked with a smile. “It’s our date night. Did I do it right? Cause everything here basically just came to me in a vision, so I’m not sure if this is how Earth dates are actually supposed to look. In my defence though, I’ve only ever seen them in movies or restaurant windows. This’ll be my first.”

Winn was still taking it all in; the smell of something delicious roamed the air, and there was faint, romantic music in the background.

“So what do you think? You like it? Don’t like it? Cause you haven’t been answering me, so I’ve kinda been thinking…” Mon took a moment to calm down. “Sorry I’m such a wreck, you look really handsome tonight.”

Winn must’ve had such a dumb look on his face, because Mon-El smiled nervously before asking, “Do you like it?”

“Yeah,” Winn said as he shook himself, “I- I love it!”

“Great,” Mon said with a relieved smile as he got up and walked over to Winn. Once they had made their way to each other, Winn wrapped his arms around Mon’s neck and pulled himself closer and closer until they were in a kiss. Their lips met passionately, working against each other as if it was both the first and last time they'd ever do so. Winn took off Mon-El’s glasses and placed them on the table, before Mon asked him “You sure? I thought you liked them.”

“I do,” Winn admitted “But I like you just the way you are.”

“That was really cheesy,” Mon told him.

“Was it?” Winn asked, smiling as he facepalmed.

“Yeah,” Mon said while laughing.

“Well how about this,” Winn started, trying to think of something sweet to say, “ _Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.”_

Mon-El jerked back a bit, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping slightly.

“Babe,” He started affectionately, “That was so beautiful. Did you come up with that yourself?”

Winn thought for a few seconds.

“Uh-huh,” He said, “Right- yes I did.”

“Wow,” Mon said while shaking his head in disbelief, “My boyfriend is a lover, a fighter, _and_ a poet. What did I do to deserve you?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Winn said, “Maybe you just played your cards right.”

Winn wrapped his arms around Mon’s neck again and pulled him into a kiss, feeling his boyfriend’s hands running over him as his worries seemed to melt like cough drops, heating him up from the inside before soothing him. Once they were finished, Mon’s eyes widened before he turned around and looked at a pair of plates on the counter.

“Oh shit,” He said, “Dinner’s gonna get cold. Please, Winn, sit.”

Winn pulled out his chair and took his seat at the table, while Mon walked over to the counter. He brought over a bowl and some plates and sat down, a smile and an expectant look on his face.

“Help yourself,” he told him.

Winn looked at the table, noticing two things: one, the bowl was filled with mashed potatoes (something he could eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day for eternity), and two, on top of the plate was a juicy piece of steak...and by juicy he meant covered in blood because it was severely undercooked. It was pinker than a stereotypical little girl’s wet dream, and its overall appearance looked like something a crazy method actor would force themselves to eat for the sake of an Oscar.

“Is something wrong?” Mon asked; he was clearly more perceptive than Winn gave him credit for.

“No- nothing at all!” Winn exclaimed defensively.

“You don't like it, do you?” Mon asked disheartedly.

“No! It’s not that!” Winn exclaimed, but Mon was already facepalming.

“I don't know what I did wrong,” Mon said self-depreciatingly, “I mean, I thought I followed the recipe perfectly.”

“Well let me see,” Winn said, “maybe there was something wrong with it.”

“I doubt it,” Mon said unenthusiastically as he took out the folded paper from his pocket and handed it over to Winn, who started to look it over.

“Okay...I think I know what went wrong,” Winn said, “this website is Canadian; over there they use Celsius to measure temperature, not Fahrenheit.”

“What's the difference?” Mon asked.

“Fahrenheit's a lot higher than Celsius,” Winn explained, “if the recipe is in Celsius and you use Fahrenheit, it'll be…”

“Raw,” Mon finished with an understanding nod of his head, “I knew it didn't look right. I'm such an idiot.”

“No, you're not,” Winn comforted as he took Mon’s hand, “and it’s the thought that counts anyways.”

“No, no,” Mon said, “ _I_ was supposed to be the one to take care of our date. _I’m_ the one who has to prove I'm serious about us. I should never have asked you for sex. Now you think I don't care about you.”

“What? No, that’s not what I was thinking,” Winn said, hating himself because earlier that day he actually _was_ thinking that, “I know you care about me. And Kara explained why you wanna have sex so much.”

“Wait, she did?” Mon asked nervously.

“Yeah,” Winn said, although the concern in Mon’s voice made him question if what he was thinking was right, “I mean, you just wanna have fun with me, right?”

Mon paused for a few moments.

“Yeah,” He said, but then sighed, “Actually that’s not the whole story. Look, I’m a stranger on this planet; I don’t know anything about how relationships here are supposed to work, or what you expect me to do now that we’re together. Sex is one of the only things that Earth and Daxam’s courting customs have in common, and it’s the only thing I know for sure I can do well. I mean, not to brag, but...you know. The point is, I just want you to be pleased, but I’m not sure if you’ll get that from me.”

Winn was taken aback; he really had no clue about anything Mon-El was thinking. He thought his boyfriend just wanted a fun night, but that clearly wasn’t the case.

“I’m sorry,” Winn said.

“ _You’re_ sorry?” Mon asked. “Why?”

“Well you’re stressing out so much about making me happy. The truth is, I _am_ happy. That’s why I don’t wanna have sex. Because at this stage in our relationship we’re both really, really happy, and I don’t wanna screw that up.”

“Why would sex screw it up?” Mon asked.

Winn paused for a few moments, staring into his reflection in the glass of wine in front of him.

“You know how I think about myself, and there are plenty of people who would agree that people like me don’t usually end up with people like you.”

“People like you?” Mon asked, “You mean handsome, smart as hell sex gods?”

“ _I_ don’t think of myself like that,” Winn said, “And I’m worried that once we do it, you won’t either. Look, when...if we have sex, you’ll see parts of me I don’t show anyone. Like, it’s not a coincidence you’ve never seen me with my shirt off, and once you do who knows what you’ll think of me.”

“Winn,” Mon started, “Nothing’s gonna change the way I think about you.”

“You can’t promise that,” Winn said.

Mon paused for a few moments.

“You’re right,” Mon said, “I can’t promise that. But look, neither of us know where we’ll be in a few years, or months, or even days. But there’s no use assuming the worst. So, how about we just focus on where we are now? On a date, sitting across from each other over plates of ridiculously raw steak and a weirdly unnecessary amount of candles. You ...um...down?”

Winn thought for a few moments.

“Yeah,” He said with a smile.

“Great,” Mon said, “So, what do people talk about on these dates?”

“Well, for starters, how was your day?” Winn asked.

“Um…” Mon started as he recalled the day he had, “Fun! Yeah, a lot of fun. It was pretty cool getting to learn how to do an Earth date. But a lot of it was for nothing apparently, since now we have nothing to eat.”

“That’s not true,” Winn said as he examined Mon’s botched attempt at dinner, “I’m sure we can salvage it.”

“I’ll probably just screw it up again,” Mon said self-deprecatingly.

“No, you won’t,” Winn encouraged, “Wanna know why?”

“Why?” Mon asked.

“Cause this time, you’ll have me.”

…

“What setting is the stove burner on?” Winn asked Mon.

“High,” He responded.

“Great,” Winn said, using a pair of tongs to pick up the piece of raw steak and plop it onto the skillet.

“So how long do we do this for?” Mon asked.

“Thirty seconds,” Winn said, “Then we flip it.”

Mon tapped his foot against the floor impatiently, hoping it would help speed up the cooking process. The whole point of him cooking before the date was so he could spend as much time with Winn as possible, and while technically that’s what he was doing, his boyfriend was distracted with making sure he didn’t mess up their dinner. He looked down at the sizzling piece of meat in the skillet as Winn flipped it, hating it so much. Not only had it refused to cook for him, but it was also hogging Winn’s attention. He wanted Winn all to himself, and didn’t want anything to come between them, much less some chunk of dead animal flesh.

“Hey,” Winn said, “You okay?”

“What?” Mon asked, “Oh yeah, fine.”

“You seem upset,” Winn commented.

“I’m just hungry, that’s all,” Mon lied.

“Well it’ll be ready soon,” Winn promised, “You don’t get hangry, do you?”

“Hangry?” Mon asked.

“You know? Angry and hungry?”

“Oh,” Mon said (the English language was always full of surprises), “No, I don’t think so.”

Winn slipped on his oven mitts as he placed the skillet under the broiler, making sure to close the oven door and set the timer for around two minutes.

“Almost there,” Winn said.

“What should we do in the meantime?” Mon asked.

“Just sit and wait, I guess,” Winn said as he sat down.

Mon-El joined him at the table, before saying, “Sorry for being so awkward. Like I said, it’s my first date on Earth.”

“You’re doing fine,”  Winn reassured, “But this is really your first Earth date? I find that hard to believe.”

“Why?” Mon asked.

“Well you always hooked up with so many people,” Winn reminded, “You’ve really never done anything with them besides sex?”

“No,” Mon admitted, “To be honest I didn’t really care about them, and I’m pretty sure they felt the same way about me. They weren’t all that interesting. Like they were hot and all, but other than that they weren’t much else. Not at all like you. You’re funny, and kind, and so, so smart. _And_ hot.”

Winn blushed and giggled, before adding, “You flatter me.”

“You deserve to be flattered,” Mon told him with an affectionate tilt of his head, when suddenly a fun, romantic melody came on the radio. He looked over at Winn and noticed he was moving around a bit in his seat while tapping his foot against the floor.

“Wanna dance?”

“What? No,” Winn said, “I have to keep an eye on the steak…”

“And you will, but in the meantime let’s enjoy ourselves,” Mon said.

“I’m enjoying myself just fine sitting down,” Winn reassured.

“Come on,” Mon pleaded, “I know you love this song.”

“Not happening dude,” Winn said firmly.

Mon thought for a moment.

“Fine,” He said with a small pout, as he got up, “I guess I’ll just have to dance on my own.”

“Pfft,” Winn snorted, “You hate dancing on your own.”

“Oh I’ll do it,” Mon threatened, “Just watch me.”

He got up and made his way to the living room, where there’d be more room to move around. Listening to the song, he moved his body to the melody, resulting in purposefully weird and goofy dance moves. He swung his hips around and made waves with his arms, making Winn shut his eyes and laugh in embarrassment. The timer went off, and Winn walked over to the oven and opened the door, flipping the steak before glancing over his shoulder to see what his boyfriend was doing. Now that he had Winn’s attention, Mon made a speedy dash to a closet and came back with a broom. He flipped it around and held it up to his lips, pretending it was a microphone as he sang along to the song.

_“I must’ve been through about a million girls_

_I’d love ‘em then I’d leave ‘em alone,”_ Mon sang along, his voice overpowering the singer’s and enticing Winn enough to keep looking.

_“I didn’t care how much they cried, no sir_

_Their tears left me cold as a stone.”_

Mon made his way back to the kitchen as he tossed the broom aside, facing Winn from across the table as he continued to sing.

_“But then I fooled around and fell in love,”_ Mon-El sang, gazing into Winn’s eyes to let him know that, even though he was joking around, he meant what he was singing.

_“I fooled around and fell in love, yes I did,”_

Mon continued to sing as he made his way around the table to Winn, where he pulled out his chair. He grabbed the human’s hands and yanked him to his feet, trying hard not to tear Winn’s arms from their sockets with his strength. Mon interlaced his fingers with Winn’s, lightly squeezing his hands as they danced across the floor.

“Hey Mon-El,” Winn started, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah sure, go ahead,” Mon responded.

“You’ve been on Earth for a few months now,” Winn said, “How come you’ve never tried to date anyone before me?”

Mon thought hard about his answer; once upon a time he had made plans with Eve from Catco to go out for lunch, but Winn didn’t know and asked him if he wanted to hang out. Mon forgot all about his plans until Kara asked how his date went when he got home. He knew he should’ve felt bad; he had completely abandoned that poor woman with no explanation whatsoever. But he and Winn had such an amazing, fun time that he really didn’t care.

“I’ve made plans,” He said, “But I never really followed through with any of them.”

“Too used to the single life?” Winn asked.

“Yeah, I guess,” He said, “Sometimes I just didn’t care enough to remember, and other times I just felt like a tiny voice in the back of my head was telling me to wait. I used to think it was telling me to wait for Kara.”

“Really? And what do you think now?” Winn asked curiously.

Mon tilted his head and looked into Winn’s eyes with a suspicious look on his face.

“I think…you’re smart enough to figure that out for yourself,” Mon said teasingly as he and Winn moved their bodies to the music.

_“ I fooled around and fell in love_

_I fooled around and fell in love, since I met you baby”_ The radio blared, while Winn and Mon-El continued to dance. Eventually, the timer went off again, and Winn had to leave his boyfriend to take out their dinner from the oven.

“Dinner’s ready,” Winn called.

Mon ran up to him from behind and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him back into the living room as the guitar solo soared through the air.

“Mon-El!” Winn cried. “It’ll get cold!”

“Just relax, Winn,” Mon pleaded, “Tonight’s our night, and you don’t have to worry about anything.”

“Asking me to relax is like asking the sun not to be hot,” Winn said, “In other words it’ll be millions of years before that happens.”

_“Free, on my own is the way I used to be_

_Ah, but since I met you baby, love’s got a hold on me now”_ Mon-El sang before twirling Winn around.

“Sing along Winn,” Mon instructed playfully.

“Na-uh,” Winn said, although it was clear by the way he mouthed the lyrics that Mon wouldn’t need to work too hard to change his mind.

“Please,” Mon pouted.

Winn grumbled to himself, and eventually joined in.

_“I fooled around and fell in love_

_I fooled around and fell in love, oh yes I did_

_I fooled around, fooled around, fooled around, fooled around,_

_Fooled around, fooled around, fell in love”_ Winn sang along as he rocked his body from side to side, embracing the silliness of the situation.

_“Fooled around, fooled around, fooled around, fooled around,_

_Fooled around, fooled around, fell in love”_ Mon sang, his and Winn’s voices going all over the place rather than harmonizing. Neither of them minded, though; they were too busy letting loose and relaxing. The two giggled as the song faded out, and then pressed a kiss to each other’s lips.

“We should probably go eat now,” Winn said.

“Yeah,” Mon said as he took Winn’s hand and led him back to the kitchen. They grabbed their plates and then took their seats across from each other, before cutting off their own pieces of the steak and scooping some mashed potatoes onto their plates.

“Dig in,” Mon told Winn.

Winn cut off a piece and placed it in his mouth, his eyes widening immediately.

“Oh my God, Mon,” Winn moaned, “This is so good!”

“It was all you,” Mon-El reminded modestly as he sipped his wine.

“No,” Winn said defensively, “I just stuck it in the oven; you - you were the one who did all the heavy lifting.”

“Yeah,” Mon realized with a small, proud smile, “I guess I was.”

“And these potatoes are amazing,” Winn commented as he scooped them into his mouth.

“You know, I actually mashed them by hand,” Mon bragged.

“Really? That’s so cool,” Winn said, “Thanks for tonight, by the way.”

“So you don’t feel like I was being cheap by choosing your apartment as our spot?” Mon asked.

“No, not at all,” Winn said.

“That’s good to know,” Mon said with a relieved sigh.

“Don’t doubt yourself,” Winn told him, “You’re plenty romantic, even by Earth’s standards.”

“Thanks,” Mon said, “I try so hard.”

Winn smiled, and then asked, “So, what else do you have planned for tonight?”

“Well, after _I_ clean up,” Mon said, “I thought we could just sit down on the couch and put on a movie. I mean, I know you said you didn’t wanna cuddle tonight...”

“What? No, I-I’d love to,” Winn said, “What movie did you have in mind?”

“Well you’re the expert,” Mon reminded him, “What haven’t I seen yet? And please, don’t pick another one of those...what do you call them… ‘animated’ movies?”

“What do you have against animated movies?” Winn asked defensively.

“They’re just so fake,” Mon told him, “I mean, how am I supposed to relate to characters who don’t even _look_ real?”

“Okay, so that rules out like half of my favourite movies,” Winn said, “How about a musical?”

“Musicals are lame,” Mon told him.

“Really? I _love_ them,” Winn admitted, “I mean, not to sound like a stereotypical non-straight person…”

“Sorry for interrupting, but you keep saying ‘straight’ when you talk about certain people,” Mon said, “What does it mean?”

“Well it’s just a boy who likes girls or a girl who likes boys,” Winn explained, “Someone who only likes their opposite sex.”

Mon-El’s eyes grew angry and dark, like a dog’s before it’s about to bark.

“I don’t like that word,” He said in a bitter voice, “I mean, it makes it sound like that’s the right way to be. Like what you and I have isn’t normal.”

“What we have _isn’t_ normal to some people,” Winn said, “But that doesn’t matter. We have each other, and that’s what’s important. And if people can’t see that or wanna pretend we’re sick or confused, then screw them. We don’t need them to be happy.”

“Yeah,” Mon said with a small smile, “You know, for someone with not a lot of confidence you’re pretty inspirational.”

“Thanks,” Winn said, “I like to think that in some other life I was, like, an egomaniacal newspaper-selling orphan leading a group of rebels or something.”

“Really?” Mon asked. “I can’t see it.”

“Huh,” Winn said as he shrugged, “Anyways, dinner was amazing, but we should probably clean up so we can go relax.”

...

Winn had gotten up and grabbed his plate, but Mon-El stood and took it from him.

“I’ve got this,” Mon said smugly, tilting his head and staring down into Winn’s eyes.

“Really?” Winn asked.

“Yeah,” Mon said with a shrug, “Just go chose a movie for us, and that’ll be enough.”

“No, it’s okay I’ll…”

“Please Winn,” He said as he set the plate down on the counter, before grabbing his boyfriend’s shoulders and turning him around. He hugged him from behind, resting his head on Winn’s shoulder as he whispered, “Just go relax. I’ll come join you soon.”

Winn contemplated for a moment.

“Okay,” He said, turning around and pulling Mon into a kiss. Once they were finished, Mon started clearing off the table and washing the dishes while Winn went to the shelf where he kept all his movies. He scanned through it, looking to see which one he thought Mon-El would like. _The Breakfast Club?_ _No, not his style. Wizard of Oz?_ _No, Mon said no musicals._

“Find anything yet?” Mon asked as he joined Winn about 15 minutes later.

“No, not yet,” Winn admitted, a bit ashamed that, for all his expertise, he couldn’t find a single movie to watch. He continued glancing through the shelf, before Mon pointed and said, “Hey, that one seems appropriate.” Winn followed his boyfriend’s finger to find a copy of _Alien_.

“Oh yeah,” Winn said, “How ‘bout that. Although that’s a much different alien than you.”

“Not as hot, huh?”

Winn laughed. “You can say that again.”

Mon picked up the movie, and started examining it.

“Is it any good?” Mon asked.

“Oh yeah,” Winn said, “It’s probably, like, one of my favourites.”

“Well why don’t we watch it?” Mon asked.

Winn looked at him to see if he was joking.“You’re serious?”

“Of course,” Mon said, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Cause you pretty much shat yourself during _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ , and now you wanna watch an actual horror movie.”

“Oh come on, Winn,” Mon started, “I’m an actual alien; I know it’s all fake. We can laugh at how far from the truth it is.”

“Yeah,” Winn admitted, starting to get excited about the possibility of watching the movie, “Plus it’s pretty old, so I guess the effects won’t scare you so much.” He turned to his boyfriend. “You sure?”

“Definitely,” Mon said arrogantly.

Winn thought for a moment.

“Okay,” he said.

“Awesome,” Mon said as he rubbed his hands together before plopping down on the couch. Winn put the disk in his DVD player, and then turned on the TV.

“Excited?” Mon asked.

“Yeah,” Winn said as he sat down, “Just make sure I have the remote nearby so I can skip some scenes.”

“Oh, and _I’m_ the scared one,” Mon teased.

“You think I’m scared of this movie?” Winn asked. “I’ve seen it like a hundred times. I’m only skipping scenes cause I think you’ll run out screaming.”

“I’m not gonna run out screaming,” Mon reassured cockily.

“Okay,” Winn said as he pressed play, nestling into the couch and drawing a blanket over his and Mon’s bodies.

…

Winn and Mon-El were about an hour into the movie, and Winn was pretty impressed with his boyfriend. Sure, he jumped and swore every now and then, but he was much more composed this time around. Winn liked to think he had something to do with that. He looked over at Mon-El, and noticed an uncomfortable expression on his face.

“You okay?” Winn asked.

Mon jarred before turning to Winn and adding, “Fine,” with a clearly forced smile.

“Well, what do you think so far?” Winn asked.

Mon took a moment to think.

“I think I can finally see why humans are so afraid of aliens,” Mon said in a defeated voice.

“Oh,” Winn said, “Well it’s like you said; it’s far from the truth. We both know you’re nothing like the alien in this movie.”

“Yeah,” Mon admitted, “But still; you grew up watching movies about creatures from space killing humans.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And I just don’t see how after spending your life being fed this propaganda you managed to come out befriending Kara and I.”

“I guess I’m just really good at separating reality from fantasy,” Winn said, before fully turning to Mon and asking, “Wait, you don’t think I’m afraid of you, do you?”

“What? No,” Mon said while laughing, although Winn could tell it was fake, before saying somewhat quietly a dragged out version of, “ _That would be crazy._ ”

Winn paused the movie and turned to his boyfriend.

“I’m not, just so you know,” Winn told him, “I know that the kind of aliens in this movie are just products of someone’s imagination, not real, living things. I’m sorry if the movie’s offensive to you, but know that’s all it is to me: a movie.”

Mon was silent for a few moments, until he asked, “So you’re sure that you not wanting to do anything too serious with me has nothing to do with this sorta thing, right?”

Winn leaned over and pressed his lips against Mon’s, placing his hand behind his boyfriend’s head so he could pull himself closer. He waited until Mon broke apart, and asked, “So, does that look afraid to you?”

“No,” Mon admitted.

“That’s because I’m not, okay? I’m really, really not. In fact, I love that you’re an alien.”

“Really?” Mon asked with a hopeful smile.

“Hell yeah,” Winn said, “I love you and your culture, even though I know almost nothing about it.”

“Well maybe we could have a day where I teach you,” Mon offered, “Kinda like how you taught me about Earth. It would be a nice change of pace, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Winn said, “I’d actually really love that.”

“Great,” Mon said with a smile as Winn sat back down, grabbing the remote and pressing the “Off” button.

“Hey,” Mon said, “Why’d you do that?”

“Well it was making you uncomfortable,” Winn said, “I thought you wouldn’t wanna watch anymore.”

“Well like you said, it’s just a movie. Come on, let’s see how completely out of proportion it gets.”

“Sure,” Winn said as he turned it back on, pressing play as Mon wrapped his arm around him. Mon pulled Winn closer and kissed his forehead, before the latter rested his head onto his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“You know,” Mon started playfully, “I’ve been worrying so much about you being afraid of me, but maybe you should be worrying about me being afraid of you.”

“Why?” Winn asked.

“Well how do I know you’re not gonna try to kill my eggs and ruin my plans for world domination?” Mon asked jokingly.

Winn shoved him with a pillow, playfully telling him to shut up before going back to watching the movie. They were silent for a bit, Mon watching the screen attentively and Winn telling Mon when to close his eyes. Mon would always roll his eyes whenever Winn warned him, not wanting to seem weak or unable to protect his boyfriend, of course. Winn looked over at Mon’s face, and couldn’t help feeling like he had lied to him. No, he was definitely not afraid of him being an alien, but he was still afraid to trust him too much. He was afraid to trust anyone too much after what his parents did to him. He hated them, not just for screwing up his life, but for screwing up Mon-El’s too. Mon didn’t deserve to be constantly led on, to never have what he wanted all because he fell for someone with mommy and daddy issues.

“Hey Winn,” Mon started with his signature puppy dog innocence, “What’s wrong with that guy? Is he having a stroke?”

Winn woke up from his thoughts as his attention turned towards the screen. A few characters were sitting around a table eating supper when suddenly one of them started to choke and shake.

“Oh no,” He said, immediately recognizing the scene on screen, “Mon-El, you might wanna close your eyes.”

“Pfft,” He snorted, “No way.”

The characters on screen held the man down on the table as he screamed in pain.

“Mon I’m not kidding, close your eyes,”

“I’m not scared…”

Blood spewed in all directions as a sharp-toothed, snake-like baby alien sprung it’s way out of the man’s chest. Mon’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped before he buried his face in Winn’s side, screaming, “Tell me when it’s over!”

“Okay! Okay!” Winn exclaimed, before the screen glitched and froze, leaving the image of a blood-soaked alien poking it’s way through human flesh on the screen.

“No!” Winn yelled. “This is like the most inconvenient time for this to happen!”

“What’s wrong?” Mon asked, his head still buried into Winn’s side.  

“The disk must be scratched or something,” Winn said, “I'll take it out and dust it and maybe then it'll work.”

Winn tried to get up, but Mon-El held him in place, refusing to let go. Winn wasn’t sure how to comfort him, or if he needed comforting to begin with. He stroked Mon’s back and started to rock him gently when Mon finally sat up.

“You okay?” Mon asked.

“Yeah,” Winn said, “I’m not the one who started screaming,”

“I wasn’t screaming,” Mon told him firmly, “I was yelling. Very masculinely.”

“Uh-huh...okay sure,” Winn said with an eye roll as he got up.

“Wait, where are you going?” Mon asked frightenedly.

“Just to go dust the disk,” Winn explained.

“You can’t leave me here alone!” Mon exclaimed.

“What do you think’s gonna happen?” Winn asked.

“Nothing,” Mon said quickly and defensively, “But still; I’m weirded out...”

“Terrified,” Winn corrected sassily.

“Uneasy...”

“Scared.”

“Disturbed...”

Winn thought for a moment.

“I’ll allow it.”

“I’m disturbed,” Mon restarted, “I need you to keep me company.”

“I’m right here,” Winn said.

“Yeah,” Mon said, “But please, Winn. I…” He straightened his back and puffed out his chest, taking a deep breath before saying in his most heroic voice, “I wanna protect you.”

“You wanna protect me?” Winn asked. “You sure it’s not the other way around?”

Mon laughed with disbelief and said, “Of course not. I have superpowers; I don’t need anyone’s protection.”

“Everyone needs protection sometimes,” Winn said, “Even Supergirl.”

“Well I’m not Supergirl,” Mon told him, before saying with a laugh,“And I don’t need you to protect me.”

“Okay,” Winn said as he ejected the DVD, walking away to find a dishrag to wipe it with. As he looked over his shoulder, he could see that Mon wasn’t doing too well. He was pale, shaking, and was taking deep breaths to calm himself down.

“Just a movie, just a movie, just a movie,” Mon repeated over and over again under his breath, like a mantra.

“I’ll be there soon,” Winn promised as he walked into the kitchen, before Mon-El started biting his nails and tapping his foot to the floor impatiently.

“Well can you at least put some music on?” Mon asked. “I can’t get the sounds of screaming out of my head.”

“Sure thing,” Winn said as he walked over the radio and turned it on. At first the sound was muffled and staticky, but eventually it got better. Winn listened carefully; the lyrics were familiar, but the singer and the tune were different.

_“Wise men say_

_Only fools rush in_

_But I can’t help falling in love with you”_ The singer sang, her voice strong but vulnerable too. Winn looked over at Mon-El; he was listening to the music so attentively, as if it were the most interesting thing he’d ever heard. He gave that kind of attention to everything. When Winn met Mon-El, he always thought that over time the alien’s childish wonder and fascination with everything would fade away. _There’s no way he can keep this up,_ Winn remembered thinking, _one day he’ll get used to everything, just like everyone always does._

_“Shall I stay?_ _  
_ _Would it be a sin_

_If I can’t help falling in love with you?”_

Winn felt a fluttery mix of nerves and joy as he continued to think about Mon-El. He really couldn’t help falling in love with him. Not when he snuck him out of the DEO on Halloween, not during their many shared moments in training, and definitely not now.

“Hey,” Mon said, and Winn could hear the heart-melting smile in his voice, “I really like this song.”

”Yeah,” Winn giggled like a schoolgirl. His stomach was filled with butterflies, and he felt a familiar, somewhat embarrassing feeling rising in his pants. His heart was racing, and it didn’t get any better when he looked over again at Mon-El. His boyfriend was yawing, his biceps bulging and straining against the fabric of his shirt as he got up and stretched. Winn couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting downwards, and soon enough they were focused in on the Daxamite’s perfect ass, which was begging to be let out of his criminally tight jeans. Something was happening to Winn. All those features were usually able to turn him on like batteries, but in that moment they were nuclear reactors.   _I think I wanna fuck Mon-El,_ Winn thought, _and I think I should... what? No way! I have to wait, just like I always do._ He took deep breaths to try to keep himself together, but it was no use; there was no stopping the rush of excitement he felt, or the fluttery feeling that surged throughout his body. _No,_ Winn thought nervously, _I can't succumb to my boyfriend. My perfect, gorgeous, hilarious, sexy boyfriend...oh, but I really want to! I want my hands on his gorgeous biceps, and his cock up my...no! Not yet!_ Winn grumbled to himself as he tried to hold onto logic and reason.

“Okay,” he said under his breath, “let's pro/con this. Cons: 1) I can completely ruin my relationship with him, 2) he may leave me when he sees how unattractive I really am, 3) I’m rushing into things and 4) it would be very stupid and 5) I don’t know if I can trust him or anyone with anything after what my asshole parents did to me. Woo! That was a lot. Now, for the pros…”

Winn walked over to the couch, standing from a distance and observing Mon-El. He was rocking his head to the music’s soft melody, a small, sincere small on his handsome face...holy shit, was his face gorgeous! Winn once heard that when someone hot turns out to be boring, their face stops seeming so beautiful. Well, in that case Mon-El was the most interesting person in the world because his face was as beautiful as ever. His stubble complimented his soft skin perfectly, and his puppy dog eyes were shining so brightly. _His eyes,_ Winn thought admiringly. That was the final push.

“Oh, I’m gonna regret this,” Winn grumbled to himself as he walked over to the radio.

...

_“Take my hand,_

_Take my whole life, too_

_For I can't help falling in love with you_

_For I can't help falling in love with you”_

The song ended abruptly as the radio shut off. Mon-El looked over his shoulder to see Winn, who was walking over to the TV with a pensive, worried look on his face. He turned it off, before placing the disk in his hands back in its rightful case.

“Hey! I thought we were gonna watch the end,” Mon said, wondering what had gotten into Winn, “It’ll be scarier if I don’t know how it ends...”

Winn walked over to the couch and practically jumped onto Mon’s lap, before wrapping his arms around the alien and pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss. It was different than the others they’d shared. It was a bit more unhinged, as if Winn was giving himself permission to act in a way that he didn’t want to before.

“Winn,” Mon started, “What…”

“I have a confession to make,” Winn told him, “Can I?”

“Yeah sure, go ahead,” Mon told him, a bit concerned about what it could be.

“I lied before,” Winn said, “When I said I wasn’t afraid of you...well technically it wasn’t a lie cause you asked if I was afraid about you being an alien, which I’m definitely not, by the way...if anything it’s the opposite cause I think my type is aliens with superpowers and costumes...but the point is I was still a bit afraid of you. Like not so much who you are, but more like what you mean to me. I like you, okay? Like I really, really, really like you, and all I’ve wanted to do from the moment we met is get closer and closer but I’m scared because if I care about you then I can also be hurt by you, which is definitely not something I wanna go through. So yeah, I guess you could say I was scared of falling in love with you.”

“Hey, I get it,” Mon told him sincerely, “I’m also having these feelings, and yeah, they’re pretty scary for me too. To be honest, I think one of the reasons I’ve been wanting to have sex is so that I can, like, brand you as mine or something. That way you won’t be so quick to leave me. I can’t put a ring on you like the song says, but I can put myself inside you. But I get it, okay? I really do. We don’t have to do anything if you’re still nervous about getting too close.”

“Yeah, well that’s the thing,” Winn started, “I’m not afraid anymore.”

“You’re not?” Mon asked, fighting back a hopeful smile.

“Nope,” Winn said, “And...if you want to and only if you want to, I was wondering if you could...if _we_ could...God, why is this so hard for me to say?  Ugh!”

“It’s okay,” Mon told him, “Take your time.”

Winn took a few deep breaths, while Mon just sat by, doing a quick breath check and starting to fiddle with the buttons on his shirt to pass the time.

“I wanna fuck,” Winn told him suddenly, before dropping his jaw and starting to panic, “No! I didn’t mean to put it like that! What I mean is that...is that…”

“Hey,” Mon told him with a smile, “It’s okay. But...you’re sure this is what you want? I mean, don’t think I don’t want to, but I just wanna make sure you do too.”

“I do,” Winn said, “Like I said: I’m not afraid anymore. I want you. And I trust you enough to put myself in your hands for the night.”

Mon took a moment to think; finally, after months of being too blind to notice his own feelings, a night of being too stubborn to accept them, and a week of wanting but can’t having, Winn would finally be his.

“Okay,” Mon-El said, a wide grin on his face, “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fooled Around and Fell In Love (Elvin Bishop): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyMMEmwFQUE&spfreload=10  
> Thanks for reading; I hope it was worth the wait! Just in case anyone was wondering, this story is not going into full-on smut territory; it comes close, but I feel like actually describing the sex would kinda ruin the vibe I've got going on.  
> Bonus:  
> Can't Help Falling In Love With You (Haley Reinhart version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnqfr-wxfsw&spfreload=10  
> This is the version of the song I imagined playing towards the end, btw.


	11. I Never Planned On You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It's been a while. Sorry about that. At some point last year I realized that I was in a weird toxic relationship with the Supergirl show, and decided to give it a break for a while. Because of this, I haven't been updating since I stopped watching. But I kind of felt like I did myself a disservice by not finishing this story that once meant so much to me, and that plus many heartwarming comments gave me the final push to finish it. Just as a head's up, some comments Mon-El will make about his home planet early on in this chapter will seem weird as hell considering that we all know Daxam was trash, but I promise by the end things make sense. So, without further adieu, please (hopefully) enjoy the chapter.

Mon-El took Winn’s hand and led him down the hallway, smiling mischievously as he began to feel something come over him. He felt it whenever he was about to have sex with someone, but it was so much stronger then. His heart was racing at the thought of what he was about to do, and he could feel a certain something in his pants swelling and hardening. All his thoughts and desires were starting to take him over, and it was becoming harder and harder to hold onto reason and logic. He didn’t mind that very much, except for the fact that he still wasn’t entirely sure if Winn actually wanted to have sex or if he was just saying he did to make him happy.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Mon asked Winn, who was being pushed against the closed bedroom door, his legs wrapped around his boyfriend’s torso as he fumbled for the doorknob.

“Yeah,” Winn said breathlessly.

“You sure?” Mon asked as he felt up Winn’s shoulders.

“Uh-huh” Winn told him, a worried look on his face before he added, “I mean, you do too, right?”

Mon laughed with disbelief.

“Are you kidding me? I’m...how do you say it? Pumped?”

“Yup,” Winn said, “and in case you’re wondering, I am too.”

“I was _really_ hoping you’d say that,” Mon told him with a sigh of relief as he started to kiss his boyfriend’s neck. Winn’s hands went straight for the Daxamite’s collar before practically ripping off his bowtie, which made Mon-El remember something important: he still hadn’t seen Winn without his shirt on. He grinned as he reached for Winn’s buttons, starting to undo them before Winn grabbed his hand.

“Please Winn,” Mon begged.

Winn had a pensive look on his face as his hands went to his chest, pushing the buttons of his shirt into the spaces between his fingers and his nails.

“You know what? Fuck it,” He said as he jumped down and began to aggressively undo his buttons, causing Mon to smile. With every passing second, Mon was getting to see more and more of Winn, and while it wasn’t easy to make out behind Winn’s hands, what he saw was the hottest body he’d ever laid his eyes on. He desperately wanted to bury his head in Winn’s chest and get things started, but he decided against it. Winn was letting Mon see him naked, which meant he trusted him. He knew it was a big moment for Winn, and he felt like his boyfriend should be the one to initiate it. In the meantime for him, however, he was getting increasingly antsy...and very, very horny. He took deep breaths to try to calm himself down, but it wasn’t working; he was helpless. _Please Winn,_ Mon thought as he started to bounce up and down, _hurry up._ He wasn’t sure how much more of the teasing he could take. Thankfully, he wouldn’t have to find out because soon enough all of Winn’s buttons were completely undone. Winn grabbed the tips of his collar and snaked out of his shirt, revealing his full torso for the first time. He threw the pesky article of clothing onto the floor and looked at Mon, an expectant and worried look on his face.

“Ta-da,” he said with a small, nervous laugh.

Mon bit his lip as he took in the sight before him. His boyfriend’s shoulders were so wide and broad, and looked even better with no shirt on. His pecs was plump and perfect, with a few tantalizing hairs that ran from his chest to his abdomen. Mon tried to focus in on every little detail so he could fully appreciate the human’s shorter, sexy body, but he couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than all the things he wanted to do with Winn.

“So? I’m ugly, aren’t I? Like on a scale of one to ten, just how bad am I...” Winn asked spastically, but was interrupted when Mon leaned forward and kissed him, his hands feeling up the soft-yet-still-slightly-toned, naked muscles of Winn’s upper body for the first time.

“You’re so fucking hot,” was all Mon could manage to say; under normal circumstances he would’ve thought of something much sweeter to say, but his thoughts were running wild and his attention was being diverted to other tasks. Tasks like kissing up and down Winn’s torso, which was one of the most satisfying things he’d ever done.

“Winn you’re beautiful,” He murmured against Winn’s soft skin, before making his way up to the man’s chest. He started to move his body up and down, and Winn, whose legs had once again wrapped around him, managed to finally find the door knob.

“Ready?” Mon asked.

“Yeah,” Winn said as he twisted the knob and opened the door, allowing himself to be carried into his room by Mon-El before kicking the door shut.

...

Mon-El rolled off Winn’s backside and collapsed onto the bed, and as the latter turned over he could see the Daxamite drenched in sweat and panting for air. Winn tried to speak, but he hadn’t caught his breath yet and words refused to form. He waited a few minutes, doing nothing but gasping, listening to Mon-El’s breathing, and fully processing what had just happened.

“Holy shit,” he finally managed, “That was amazing.”

“Yeah,” Mon said with a breathless laugh, placing an arm under his head.

“Like that was really, really amazing,” Winn said with concern, “I don’t even think it’s healthy to have such a good time.”

“Well, healthy or not healthy, this has been the best date ever.”

“It’s been your only date ever,” Winn reminded.

“True,” Mon admitted, “Well then it’s been our best night together.”

“Really?” Winn asked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong tonight was _beyond_ fantastic, but I think I’ll always consider our best night together to be when we finally kissed. At the lookout, after our dance.”

“Oh yeah,” Mon remembered, “I guess that makes sense. It’s just that before we kissed we were trying to convince each other we didn’t want this, so to me that night will always be a bit painful. Tonight though, we just had fun. No pain.”

“Uh-huh,” Winn said in a strange tone under his breath.

“Something wrong?”  Mon asked with concern, before adding, “Wait- I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, _no_ ,” Winn reassured, “I just think I’ll be a bit sore, that’s all. But nothing I can’t handle, don’t worry.”

“You sure?” Mon asked. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to get hurt so we can have fun.”

“Mon-El,” Winn started sincerely as he took his boyfriend’s hand, “I’m fine.”

Mon-El looked at him suspiciously, before taking his hand and guiding it over to his abs, allowing Winn to feel them rise and fall with his every heavy breath. He continued to bring Winn’s hand further up his body until it reached his pecs, and Winn gave one of them a squeeze. Mon smiled before Winn moved his hand slightly to the right of the alien’s chest, before saying, “Holy shit, your heartbeat.”

“Yeah,” Mon said, “Why are you surprised? I told you it was on this side.”

“It’s just really fast,” Winn commented.

“Well we had quite the workout,” Mon told him with a smirk, before propping himself on his elbow and saying, “but don’t worry; I’m good for another, like, two or ten rounds if you are.”

Winn’s eyes widened.

“Is that a yes?” Mon asked hopefully.

Winn thought for a moment; he assumed he’d be tired, but lying next to his boyfriend he felt anything but. He had a ridiculous amount of energy, and was practically bouncing on the mattress.

“Okay,” Winn said, “yeah, sure. I mean, I’m down if you are.”

Mon laughed with disbelief.

“Winn,” He started cockily, “You’ve known me long enough to know I’m _always_ down.”

Mon slipped out of bed and got up, before asking, “Hey, mind if I shower first? I’m really sweaty.”

“No, not at all,” Winn said.

“Thanks,” Mon said as he walked over to Winn’s bathroom. Winn couldn’t help but notice there was something mischievous in his eyes, and he had a small, expectant smile that wouldn’t leave his face.

“What’re you up to?” Winn asked suspiciously

“I’m sorry, me?” Mon asked, his smile still not leaving his face.

“Yeah,” Winn said, “You’ve got this weird look on your face.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mon said, “Anyways, I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Yeah,” Winn said before Mon shut the door. He placed both arms behind his head and nestled into the bed, still not sure whether or not he was dreaming. He had to be, right? There was no way the alien who’d landed on Earth a few months ago actually just had sex with him, right? No way the alien he’d taken out for drinks on Halloween had actually laid next to him and praised him. No way the alien he’d fallen helplessly for had actually called him hot. _I should pinch myself just to be sure,_ Winn thought, _better safe than having a wet dream._ He shut his eyes and gripped the skin of his arm tightly between his nail and his thumb. Right before he was about to open his eyes, he decided against it; if he was in a dream, he didn’t want to wake up. _This is ridiculous,_ he thought before opening his eyes, and sure enough, he was still in his bed, alone as he waited for Mon-El to get out of the shower. There was something weird about how his boyfriend was acting. Why was he smiling like that? He was just taking a shower, and it’s not like he expected Winn to join him or anything…

“I’m such an idiot,” Winn said to himself as he started to get out of bed, but stopped when his phone started buzzing. He picked it up to see messages from Kara that read, _“Emergency at the DEO,”_ and then, _“Get here NOW.”_ Winn grumbled to himself, before texting back, _“On my way.”_

…

Mon-El waited in the shower, feeling the water rain down on him as he reached for the soap bar. Holding it in his hand, he decided against using it just yet. He figured Winn would probably want to rub the soap over his body, so he chose to wait until he showed up. He did hope he would show up soon. Maybe he should've flashed him a wink, just to make things clearer. _No,_ Mon thought, _he’s smart. He’ll figure it out._ He was right not to have underestimated his boyfriend, because soon enough Winn walked in, opening the shower door before Mon-El pressed a kiss to his lips. Winn broke apart a bit too soon for Mon’s taste, making him ask, “Hey, what's wrong?”

“There’s been an emergency at the DEO,” Winn said.

“Oh,” Mon said as his head dropped, “Well can it wait?”

“Kara texted, ‘Now’ in all caps, so no, I don’t think so,” Winn said.

“Well it's pretty late,” Mon reminded, “you shouldn't be out at this hour. Besides, it’ll be dangerous, won’t it?

“Yeah, probably,” Winn admitted.

“So stay here,” Mon told him sincerely as he put down the soap bar and took Winn’s hands, “You’re safe here.”

“I can't just turn my back on people who need help,” Winn explained.

Mon-El felt his heart sink; he would never understand Winn’s need to help people. Why wasn’t it enough for him to just stay? It would be safer, plus they were having so much fun together. But the night was still kind of young; maybe if Winn went now he could come back before the morning.

“Look,” Winn started spastically, “I’m really sorry about this, but I have to go like right now.”

“Yeah sure,” Mon told him, “I get it.”

Winn smiled, and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thanks for being so understanding,” Winn told him.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Mon said, “But really, what are you still doing here? I thought it was an emergency.”

“Right!” Winn exclaimed nervously as he left the room and grabbed his clothes, “Stay here and I promise I’ll come back, okay?”

“Okay,” Mon said, hiding his disappointment as best as he could. As he heard the bedroom door shut, he couldn’t help but feel slightly lonely while Winn went off to save the city.

…

Winn walked into his apartment, hissing when the sunlight hit his face like he was a vampire. He spent so much at the DEO helping Kara save the city from yet another CADMUS attack, so he didn’t see much of the sun until he finally got out of his workplace. He looked around and noticed something strange: the floor was littered with two bowties and two dress shirts, one of which looked a bit too big for him. It would probably have fit Mon-El better than him... _shit_. Winn ran to his bedroom, preparing an elaborate apology speech and trying to think of ways to make it up to his boyfriend. When he got there, he saw Mon lying on his side in bed, the sheets covering him up until his waist and his sleeping face looking so peaceful. Winn kicked off his shoes and sat next to his boyfriend, the bed warm with sunlight as he tucked himself in. He checked Mon’s pulse to make sure he was okay, before deciding to let him sleep. Mon-El was so cute in his sleep, with his hair in his face and his arm half-off the bed. Winn couldn’t help but laugh a bit. A few months ago, when he’d finally gotten over Kara, he promised himself he wouldn’t fall for anyone else like he did for her. He cut himself off from watching any romantic movies, and avoided chocolate strawberries like fly infested turds. Couples holding hands in the park made him gag, and the thought of candles being used for anything other than a heat source in the Middle Ages was repulsive. Then Mon-El came along, and all his hard work went down the drain. He was back to his old, doey-eyed self, and although he hated to admit it, he’d fallen for the Daxamite even harder than he had for Kara. Now here he was, coming off a candlelit dinner, quoting Shakespeare, and sitting next to the man he’d just slept with.

_"_ _I got no use for moonlight_

_Or sappy poetry_

_Love at first sight’s for suckers_

_At least it used to be”_ Winn sang to his sleeping boyfriend, not sure if he was imagining the faint smile on Mon’s sleeping face.

_"Look, company’s nice_

_Once or twice,_

_Till they break my heart in two_

_But I never planned on_

_Someone like you”_

Winn laid down and nestled into his bed, feeling incredibly relaxed. Part of it was because J’onn had told him to come in at noon instead of nine to make up for the lost sleep, but also because, after a night of having alien-hating bigots telling his best friend that everyone she loved would die, he was glad to be in the protection of his super-powered Daxamite lover. He needed to find some ways to show how much he appreciated Mon-El; he felt a bit bad for not taking care of their date, so evening the score was a top priority. Walk around the park? Maybe; it sure was nice enough outside. Or maybe a trip somewhere Mon’s never been, like Paris or Venice...well, if supervillains stopped trying to destroy the city for long enough to let them get away.

_"I got no use for moonlight_

_Or sappy poetry._

_Love at first sight’s for suckers,_

_At least it used to be”_ Winn sang again as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, nestling into his toned, soft-skinned back.

_“No, I never planned on someone_

_Like you”_ Winn finished, closing his eyes as he faded happily into sleep.

…

Mon-El woke up at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice, wincing as his eyes adjusted to the sunlight. He yawned before turning over to see Winn next to him, his arms wrapped around his waist as he slept peacefully. He was still in his work clothes, but looked so comfortable, as if they were made of fluffy clouds.

“Hey,” Mon said as he shook Winn gently, “Good morning.”

“Hmmm,” Winn said as he started to wake up, “Morning.”

“What time did you come in?” Mon asked.

“Just now,” Winn said, his eyes still closed.

“Oh,” Mon said, “Rough night?”

“Hmmm,” Winn said.

Mon sighed; he desperately wanted to talk to Winn, but it was clear that his boyfriend was tired.

“I’ll let you sleep,” Mon said as he returned to his side, trying not to feel offended that Winn would rather not converse with him.

“Hey,” Winn said as he put his hands on Mon’s thick, bare shoulders and returned him to lying on his backside. He rested his head on the alien’s chest and said, “So, last night was fun.”

“Oh yeah, _so fun_ ,” Mon said as he remembered every amazing detail, a suspicious look on his face before turning to Winn and asking, “Wait- you mean our date and when we had sex, right? Not when you saved the city?”

Winn laughed, and Mon did the same while saying, “I’m just making sure, cause I know how much you enjoy all those things.”

“Yeah,” Winn said once he finished laughing, “I meant our time together.”

“Yeah,” Mon said as he pulled Winn closer, “I did too. But hey- shouldn’t you be on your way to work? It’s almost nine.”

“J’onn let me have the morning off,” Winn said, “So I can catch up on lost sleep.”

“Cool, but are you sure that’s what you wanna catch up on?” Mon asked mischievously. “I mean, you kinda left me in the middle of the night, so you do owe me.”

“That’s true,” Winn admitted.

“I mean, unless you’re too _tired_ ,” Mon teased.

“Okay, I’ll show you tired,” Winn said competitively, before kissing Mon-El, who then wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and rolled over until he was on top.

…

Winn and Mon-El walked around the park, holding hands as Winn watched his boyfriend’s wonder-filled expressions with sweet admiration. He was so glad he was the one who got to show Mon the buzzing bees, beaming sun, and freshly-cut grass that came with the warmer weather. Spring truly was a magical time.

“Everything’s so...beautiful,” Mon said as he looked around.

“Yeah,” Winn said, “Spring’s always been my favourite season.”

“Can I just ask something?” Mon asked.

“Yeah sure, go ahead,” Winn said.

“I thought February was a winter month, but I can tell by all the sunlight that it’s pretty warm out; why is that?”

“Well, because National City is geographically located in a really weird spot, the weather’s all over the place this time of year,” Winn explained, “Like it can be snowing one day and the next it could be, like, seventy or sixty degrees. For the past few years it’s been boiling hot on Valentine’s Day.”

Mon stared at him while shaking his head.

“What?” Winn asked.

“You’re just really hot when you talk about science,” Mon told him, a thirsty look in his eyes.

“Aww,” Winn said as he blushed.

“But what was that holiday you just mentioned?” Mon asked.

“Valentine’s Day?” Winn asked.

“Yeah, that’s the one,” Mon said, “Shouldn’t we be celebrating that?”

“Well yeah,” Winn said, “I mean, we still got a few weeks to go, but it’s a thing couples do.”

“And are there any expectations you have, or…” Mon started.

“No, not really,” Winn admitted, “For all I care we can just sit on the couch or something.”

“It would be nice to go out, though,” Mon said.

Winn paused in his tracks. He knew now how to even the score between him and Mon-El.

“You okay?” Mon asked.

“Yeah,” Winn said with a mischievous smirk as he continued walking.

“I hope you’re not planning on taking care of Day of the Valentine,” Mon told him, “Cause that’s my job.”

“Okay, first of all it’s Valentine’s Day,” Winn started, “And second of all, as a matter of fact I am planning on taking care of it.”

“Please don’t,” Mon told him.

“Why not?” Winn asked.

“Because I’m supposed to handle date nights,” Mon explained, “You know? Because I don’t have my own place so you have to take care of normal nights, I figured the responsibility of taking care of date nights would fall onto me.”

“Huh, I guess that makes sense,” Winn admitted, “I just feel really guilty though, you know? Like I’m not doing my share for the relationship.”

“Winn,” Mon started, “We hang out at your place all the time. If anything, _I’m_ the one not doing my share.”

“I think you’re doing more than enough,” Winn told him.

“I think _you’re_ doing more than enough,” Mon told him.

“And you really, really wanna take care of Day of the- Valentine’s Day?”

“Yes.”

Winn sighed.

“I guess there are worse things for a boyfriend to ask,” Winn admitted.

“Yeah, there are...” Mon started as they continued walking, but stopped dead in his tracks.

“Something wrong?” Winn asked.

“Yeah,” Mon said, a bit of fear in his eyes before he shook himself and laughed it off, “I mean- no, of course not. But can we just walk back this way?”

Mon guided Winn back along the path they already walked, while Winn asked, “Why are you acting so…”

“Mike?” A voice called out.

Mon gave a terrified, awkward look, before turning around and putting on a smile.

“Hey, _hey_ ,” He said to the woman across from him, while Winn looked on suspiciously, “Long time no see, Bonnie.”

“Yeah,” She said, before looking at Winn and saying, “Not sure if you know, but this guy makes the best pancakes ever.”

Panic grew in Mon’s eyes as he turned to face Winn, while the latter said, “Oh wow. I didn’t know he made pancakes for so many people.”

“I swear, it’s not that many,” Mon said nervously, “Just the ones that stayed the morning.”

“Well I can’t imagine anyone not,” Bonnie said, before walking over to Mon-El, “I’ve gotta run, but  hey- let me know if you need company some time.”

She slipped her business card into his breast pocket and walked away, before Mon-El reached in and threw it in the trash like it was a hot potato. He took Winn’s hand and walked away quickly from the spot of his reunion.

“Hey, I’m really sorry about that,” Mon said,

“It’s okay,” Winn said, “I get it; there were a lot of people you slept with before me.”

“And as far as the pancakes go,” Mon started, “She was being sarcastic; I burnt the batch I made for her. And I only cooked them to practice for when I had to impress someone special one day.”

“That makes sense,” Winn admitted; his boyfriend had to start his culinary learning somewhere, so what difference did it make where?

“You understand?” Mon asked, before sighing with relief, “I’m so glad. You’re an awe-and-some boyfriend.”

“Oh my God, it’s just one word, Mon-El!” Winn exclaimed while Mon laughed, the two continuing to walk before the latter stopped dead in his tracks yet again.

“Oh shit,” Mon said as he started walking backwards.

“Mike?” Another woman called.

Mon grumbled to himself, something he picked up from Winn, before faking a smile and saying, “Hey Elena.”

“Hi,” She said with a smile, “Enjoying the warm weather?”

“Yes,” Mon said while nodding his head in false realization, probably thinking that “warm weather” was some kind of sexual reference...scratch that. He _definitely_ thought it was some kind of sexual reference based on the way he clutched Winn’s arm and brought him closer. “I’m enjoying the _weather_ very much.”

Winn facepalmed.

“Well, it was nice catching up, but I’m running late for a meeting,” Elena said as she walked up to Mon-El, “although, maybe if you’re ever in the mood for a fun night, you can call me up and we can kick it?”

“I’m not sure what we’re supposed to be kicking, but…” Mon said, before the woman laughed in his face.

“Oh, I’d forgotten how cute you are,” She said with a smile as she walked past him, before spanking his ass. Mon jerked up as if he were struck by a lightning bolt, and Winn felt the all-consuming fire of jealousy beginning to brew in his heart. Who gave that woman the right to touch his boyfriend’s perfect ass? Not a goddamn soul, he’d hoped, and certainly not Mon-El.

“I swear to God my penis was not hard when she did that,” Mon reassured nervously as he turned to face Winn.

“Sure it wasn’t,” Winn said sarcastically; she may have inappropriately touched his boyfriend, but there was no denying that woman was a total knockout.

“Here, see for yourself,” Mon told him as he took his hand and guided towards his crotch, before something long and thick suddenly stiffened at the human’s touch.

“It’s only like that now because your hand’s on it!” Mon exclaimed with desperate defensiveness.

Winn believed his boyfriend, but still felt uneasy; his relationships with those women worked out because both of them knew and wanted what they were getting into: one, singular night of fun. But Winn wanted so much more than that from his relationship with Mon-El.

“You’re not like them, Winn,” Mon said sincerely, as if he were reading Winn’s mind.

“Yeah, yeah,” Winn said as he continued walking.

“Hey- I mean it,” Mon said as he walked in front of Winn and cupped his head.

“I know you do,” Winn said sincerely, trying not to let his pessimism show.

“Mike?” Another woman called out.

“Oh come on!” Mon said to himself, before turning around, forcing a smile, and then turning back around again.

“It’s like the _Avengers_ of people you’ve slept with,” Winn commented.

“Not quite,” Mon said shamefully, before turning around again, “Hey Eve.”

“Hi,” Eve said; she looked familiar to Winn, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why.

“Winn?” Eve asked, and he immediately recognized her.

“Hey, long time no see,” Winn said to his former co-worker.

“Uh-huh,” She said, before turning to Mon-El and saying,“Let me guess; he’s the friend Kara talked about?”

“She told you, huh?” Mon asked, while Winn stood by, getting quite irritated at being the only person in the conversation with absolutely no idea what was happening.

“Yeah,” Eve said, “But no hard feelings. I mean, who am I to get in the way of a blossoming romance?”

Eve said her goodbyes and continued along her path, while Winn and Mon-El did the same.

“What were you guys talking about?” Winn asked, causing Mon to sigh.

“Eve and I once made plans for a date, but I forgot all about them because you invited me to come over and hang out with you. Look, I’m really sorry about us running into...”

“You really stood her up...for me?” Winn asked.

“Yeah, of course,” Mon responded, the answer to the question seeming as obvious as the colour of the sky.

“Huh,” Winn said to himself, before taking Mon’s hand and walking further along the park. Maybe he didn’t have to worry about Mon’s commitment after all.

“Thanks for taking me here, by the way,” Mon said.

“No problem,” Winn said back.

“Well you blew off work for me, so I just want you to know how much I appreciate it.”

“Pfft,” Winn snorted, “I don’t mind playing hookie for a good cause.”

“Oh, and what are you...hookying for today?” Mon asked mischievously as he wrapped his arms around Winn’s neck and pulled him closer.

“A smile on my boyfriend’s face?” Winn asked as he leaned in closer.

“Hmm, such a humanitarian,” Mon said as he kissed Winn. As their lips worked against each other, it suddenly dawned on Winn that he was making out with his boyfriend in public, in a way that definitely should’ve been reserved for when they were alone. He broke apart abruptly, and caught some dirty glances being cast their way out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey, why’d you do that?” Mon pouted. “We were having a nice moment.”

“Yeah we were,” Winn agreed, “It’s just I don’t think people are all that comfortable watching us make out like that, because it’s kinda like, you know, Public Indecency?”

“Oh right, sorry,” Mon remembered disheartedly as his head bowed, and Winn couldn’t help but feel guilty for making his boyfriend so glum. As they continued to walk along the park, Mon asked, “So what makes you think the other people in this park aren’t okay with us being so intimate? I mean, I’m not trying to argue with you or anything; I just wanna understand so I can know what makes you comfortable.”

“Yeah no, I get it,” Winn said, “It’s just...I kinda felt like they were looking at us weirdly. You know? Giving us dirty looks?”

Mon smiled, and told him, “That’s a good thing! That means they think we’re hot!”

“No, no, no,” Winn told him, “Not that kinda dirty look. Like the, ‘Ugh, get a room, you two,’ kinda dirty look. Here, how about we just hold hands, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m great with that,” Mon-El said with a smile, “Just like we did at the DEO.”

“Yeah, except we’re not gonna end up making out this time,” Winn told him.

Mon shrugged.

“Well,” Mon started with a tilt of his head, “I mean never say never, right?”

“We’re not gonna end up making out this time,” Winn repeated.

Mon’s head dropped again, before he looked back at Winn and said, “Yeah sure, of course. Whatever you want.”

A feeling of guiltiness washed over Winn again, so he reached for Mon-El’s hand and intertwined his fingers with his boyfriend’s, who held on happily and beamed with joy. As they continued walking, they passed a few families also enjoying the weather, all the “perfect” one mom, one dad, one boy, one girl type, and after a while Winn looked over to see Mon looking quite upset.

“You okay?” Winn asked.

“What? Oh me, yeah,” Mon said as he woke up from his daydreams, “It’s just...all these families, looking so happy and everything, it just makes me think of mine a lot.”

Winn nodded in understanding.

“You miss them?” Winn asked.

“Yeah, I do,” Mon said glumly, while looking down to the floor. Winn wrapped his arm around his boyfriend and gave him a quick kiss to the cheek, before a small smile crept onto Mon-El’s face. “Thanks.”

Winn rested his head onto the Daxamite’s shoulder and asked, “What were they like?”

“My parents?” Mon asked. “Pretty chill, as you’d say.”

“How so?” Winn wondered.

“Well, they would let me throw these huge parties almost every night, with drinking and dancing and usually a lotta property damage, to be honest.”

“They let you do that?” Winn asked.

“They _encouraged_ me to do that,” Mon said in a proud, nostalgic voice, “That’s what Daxam was like: endless partying and celebration.”

“Sounds like a fun place,” Winn said.

“Yeah, it was,” Mon confirmed, “Hey, do you remember what we were talking about before we went to bed last night?”

“Um...how I was afraid of falling for you?” Winn asked.

“No, but that was a good talk,” Mon admitted, “I’m talking about something a bit before that.”

Winn thought for a moment.

“Oh right,” He remembered, “How you were supposed to teach me about Daxam?”

“Yes,” Mon said with a smile, “Do you still wanna do that?”

“Yeah, of course,” Winn said

“I mean, only if you want to. You won’t be bored or anything?”

Winn looked at him suspiciously.

“You honestly think _I_ would be bored while learning about alien culture?”

“No, I guess not,” Mon said as a hopeful smile crept onto his face,“Do you maybe wanna do it today?”

“Yeah, sure,” Winn told him, “We could steal a whiteboard from the lab and bring it into the training room if you want.”

“Sounds perfect,” Mon said with a smile.

…

“Ready to be schooled?” Mon asked Winn cockily as he pulled the whiteboard through the training room door, before carrying it down the stairs. Every day since he’d arrived on Earth, Winn had been teaching and explaining things to him, and while he loved that about his boyfriend, he couldn’t help but feel lesser than from time to time. It felt pretty satisfying to finally be the one doing the explaining, even if it was for only one afternoon.

“Oh yeah,” Winn said, in an almost competitive voice, “Just watch; by the end of today I’ll know more about Daxam than you.”

“That’s literally impossible,” Mon told him as he set the board down and grabbed a marker, before starting to write, “Lesson Number 1,” on the board.

“Are you really gonna write stuff down, or do you just like seeming official?” Winn asked.

Mon shrugged.

“Okay,” He said “So, where do you wanna start? Food? Celebrations?”

“Just give me the basics,” Winn said

Mon started to explain to Winn, and the fascinated look in the human’s eyes made his heart warm. Since arriving on Earth, one of his biggest worries was that he’d forget all about Daxam and fully assimilate to Earth’s culture. He was so glad to see his boyfriend taking such an interest in his home. As he explained, Winn would take out his notebook and jot down important information, and Mon would laugh at how much of a nerd he was. It was one of the many things he loved about him.

“So, Daxam was ruled by one person: the King, who was advised by his Queen. When his time came, the King would retire and leave the planet under the control of his son, (yours truly) the Prince.”

“So all of Daxam was gonna be yours?” Winn asked.

“Yeah,” Mon said, “I used to look out the palace window and dream about my coronation. Me, staring out at the horizon and being able to know it was all mine. Winn, it was breathtaking. I wish you could’ve seen it. ”

“Me too,” Winn told him, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Mon said, wiping his face to make sure there were no tears to make him seem weak in front of Winn, “I mean, do I miss my planet? Yeah, of course, but I’m pretty happy now, on Earth. With you.”

“Well, I know it’s not the same as Prince of Daxam,” Winn started, “But if you want I could crown you, like, Prince of my apartment or something.”

“Yeah,” Mon said with a smile, “It’ll be our own little palace. But if I’m the Prince, what does that make you?”

“The cute, nerdy Jester you have a secret, forbidden relationship with,” Winn said as if it were obvious.

“Oh yeah,” Mon said, “God, that’s hot.”

“So hey, that reminds me,” Winn started, “I’m a little confused about something.”

“About what?” Mon asked curiously..

“It’s just that you say, ‘Oh my God,’ most of the time,” Winn started, “But you just told me you worship the sun god Rao, like Kara. So why don’t you say, ‘Oh Rao,’ like her?”

Mon thought for a moment, before shrugging.

“I guess it’s just another thing I picked up from you,” Mon admitted.

“Oh,” Winn said, looking a bit guilty, “Well you can say ‘Rao’ from now on. You know, so you don’t feel like you have to forget where you came from just because you’re here now.”

Mon flashed him a small, sincere smile.

“You’re the best, babe,” He said, before the door opened, revealing J’onn on the other side.

“Oh sh- hey, Director Henshaw!” Winn called out. “Look, about this…”

“There’s no time,” J’onn said, “We need your assistance again.”

“I-I’ll be right there,” Winn said hurriedly, before grabbing his tablet and rushing out.

“Bye Winn!” Mon called, but there was no answer. He slumped down on the floor and capped the marker he was using, before releasing a heavy sigh. He wasn’t going to lie to himself; he was getting just a _little_ pissed at how Winn was always ditching him to help people. He knew it was selfish, but he was a selfish person, after all. It was even one of the things Winn liked about him. And although he loved how different Winn was, he wasn’t too pleased knowing that Winn could be whisked away at any moment. He tried not to focus on that, and instead turned his attention to looking through Winn’s notes. His handwriting was messy as fuck, but overall they were ridiculously organized, with stars and colour-coded highlights everywhere he turned...not to mention several doodles of “M + W=[Heart]” and “I [Heart] Mon-El.” Mon smiled to himself; it truly warmed his heart to see Winn so invested in his home’s ways. And while no, he wasn’t Prince of Daxam anymore, he was Winn’s Prince. And that was all that mattered to him.

A few minutes passed, and Winn still hadn’t returned. Mon was getting antsy as he tapped his foot to the floor, all the while continuing to look through his boyfriend’s notes. He eventually came upon a section about a holiday meant to celebrate dreams, and to honour the night. Basically, the entire population would sleep from morning until the sun set, and awoke to parties and feasts. Winn had written down, _“Wait, who prepared the feasts if everyone was asleep the whole day? Ask l8r. ”_ Mon thought for a moment; he actually had no idea. He tried to think of different explanations, but they were all debunked by different memories. Winn’s question had planted itself into his brain like a seed, and now that it was being watered it was getting out of hand. He desperately wanted to answer his boyfriend’s question, but he wasn’t sure where he’d find his answer; it’s not like he had any other Daxamites to ask. _Think,_ Mon-El told himself, _where does Kara go to find answers about her planet. Her cousin? No, he was a baby when he left his home; he wouldn’t know anything. The Fortress of Solitude? No, there’s gotta be someplace closer._  He thought of all the places she might go to, and eventually remembered a place right there in the DEO he’d found on one of his first days staying there. It was a room with a hologram of Kara’s mother, Alura, who could give her advice and knowledge about her home world. They had constructs like that on Daxam, but neither of his parents had made one for him. Maybe he could borrow Kara’s. Her mother was Kryptonian, and might not have known much about Daxam, but it was worth a shot. Mon-El left the training room and made his way to his destination before walking in.

“Hey,” he called out to the hologram.

“Hello,” Alura replied in her monotone voice.

“I’m not sure if you could help me with this or not,” Mon-El started, “But how much do you know about Daxamite customs?”

“I know much about our sister planet,” Alura replied, “Like how it was full of cheats and bullies.”

“Sure it was,” Mon-El said skeptically.

“What would you like to know?” Alura asked.

“You know our holiday to celebrate dreams?”

“Yes.”

“If the population was asleep for almost the whole day, how was food already prepared for them when they woke up?”

“The royal family’s slaves cooked for the entire planet,’ Alura explained.

“Right,” Mon said, before he finally processed what the hologram had just said. “Wait- slaves? Don’t you mean servants?”

“The term ‘servant’ implies that the worker is paid,” Alura explained, “as well as a willingness to work. The slaves of Daxam were not paid nor did they ever choose to devote their lives to the royal family.”

Mon-El took another moment to let her words sink in.

“Don’t be stupid,” Mon-El said, his stomach beginning to feel uneasy, “Of course they were paid, and of course they wanted to be there. Why else would they have been working?”

“The King and Queen of Daxam stole them from their families,” Alura explained.

“What? No, you’re wrong,” Mon-El retaliated. “My parents told me themselves that our servants chose to be there. To thank them for saving their lives.”

“I can assure you,” Alura told him, “The King and Queen were not the heroic saviours you think them to be.”

Mon-El was so confused; did Daxam actually have slaves? No, of course not. She had to be lying. Either that or his parents had lied to him.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mon-El told her, “You’re just the biased hologram of a dead woman.”

“I may be but a construct of the real Alura, but I speak the truth,” Alura said, “The royal family of Daxam were slave owners.”

Mon-El felt sick to his stomach, like venomous snakes were slithering inside him and poisoning his sweet memories. Were his parents actually slave owners? Was _he_ actually a slave owner?

“I- the Prince would have known if his servants were slaves,” Mon told her firmly, “I mean, how couldn’t he have?”

“The Prince: Mon-El, an arrogant, selfish man whose parents entrusted with keeping the population from realizing the issues of their society by organizing countless parties and celebrations. He did nothing for the countless lives who were enslaved to his family...”

As Alura continued explaining, Mon-El felt his stomach churn and his heart rate soar, and suddenly no amount of deep breaths could calm him down. He plugged his ears with his hands and yelled, “Shut up! Just please, shut up! Rao, you’re making me confused!”

“There is no need for confusion,” Alura explained, “Confusion implies that the answers to your questions are not clear. In this situation, the answers I have given you are more than clear; they are the truth. Even my daughter, Kara Zor-El, will tell you that.”

Mon-El started to breathe heavily, and he clenched his fists in frustration; this hologram was definitely a liar. Kara was definitely a liar. Maybe that’s what Krypton was: a planet of liars.

“You’re wrong,” He said, before storming out of that room like a moody teenager being told to clean up their room. He punched his fist into his palm, deep breaths failing to relax him; his whole body was shaking with rage, and he could start to feel himself becoming dangerously powerful. He really needed to calm down now, before his powers got out of control again. He walked over to the bathroom and splashed his face with water, and tried to think about anything other than the ridiculous lies he was just told. _The sink,_ he thought. They had sinks on Daxam too, but he always preferred getting his water from the well near his family palace. The walk there was beautiful, especially during the sunset. He had so many memories about that well, and tried to replay one in his head in an attempt to calm himself down…

…

Mon-El was 8 years old, sitting by the well near his palace and watching the beautiful sunset paint the sky with streaks of impossibly vibrant colours. Before he knew it, a Daxamite aircraft landed near him, and out came a few palace guards, guiding a group of off-worlders into the family palace. He wasn’t sure what was going on. He noticed that one of his servants, Mad-Del, wasn’t far from him; the two were the same age, and had become friends despite one working for the other. She was a Daxamite like him, but was orphaned, and decided to devote her life to serving the royal family. At least that’s what his parents told him.

“Hey, do you know what’s going on?” He asked her as she looked on at the scene unfolding before them.

“Those are the new servants,” Mad explained, a hint of sadness in her eyes, “They’ve just come from their homeworld.”

Mon-El looked on at the lines of people being lead into the palace; some of them seemed to be crying, and one was holding onto their companions for support as they bawled.

“Why are they so sad?” Mon asked her.

“They miss their home,” Mad explained.

“Well if they miss it so much then why’d they leave it?” Mon asked.

Mad turned to face Mon-El, her green eyes staring into his blue ones.

“Because they didn’t have a choice,” Mad explained.

“What do you mean?” Mon asked innocently.

“They didn’t have a choice because their home was destroyed,” A familiar voice said from behind. Mon-El turned around to see his mother standing there, and he ran up to her and hugged her like it was the first time he’d ever seen her.

“Mother!” He exclaimed happily, while the Queen stroked his hair.

“We sent out ships to rescue them from their planet before it fell, and they were so grateful they decided to serve us. I believe that was what you were going to say, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, your majesty,” Mad-Del said as she dropped her head.

Mon looked at his friend suspiciously; he was young, but he could still tell that his mother’s answer probably wasn’t the one Mad was going to give him.

“Son, it’ll be dark out soon,” Rhea told him as she peeled him off her, before looking over at Mad, “And you- I believe you should be getting back to work, shouldn’t you?”

“Mother, be kind,” Mon told her, “She deserves respect.”

Rhea glared at him.

“Perhaps,” She said, “But nevertheless, she should return to her duties.”

“Yes my Queen,” Mad said, before walking away from the royals, her head bowed and her eyes slightly teary. Mon-El wasn’t sure why she was so sad, but he brushed it off and headed back inside the palace with his mother.

…

Mon-El shivered at the memory, which had new significance after his conversation with Alura. _No, she was lying,_ Mon thought to himself, _My parents weren’t slave owners, and neither was I._ He could still feel the burning rage surging through him, and tried again to distract himself by thinking of a random subject to focus on. He stared into the mirror, and noticed his stubble was growing out a bit. It wasn’t quite near a full on beard yet, but he certainly had more than he did when he first arrived on Earth. He enjoyed the way it looked on him, and was pretty sure Winn did too. He remembered when he was a teenager on Daxam, and how it felt when he finally started to grow a beard…

…

Mon-El was sixteen and in the bathroom of his bedroom one day, his shirt off and his eyes concentrated on his reflection in the mirror. He carefully observed his face, trying to see if there was any hint of facial hair beginning to appear. It didn’t make sense why he didn’t have yet; there was already hair under his arms, on his chest, and in other, more private areas, but not on his face, where he wanted it most. Where he needed it most. Having a beard meant he was an adult, something he was more than ready to be recognized as. He was done with being a kid, and having to sit by while everyone else partied and danced almost every night. He couldn’t do either of those things until he was an adult, but maybe if he showed his parents how grown up he was, they’d consider him one. Time passed, and he’d given up all hope of finding a trace of beard on his face. Maybe Mad could help him figure out another way to prove to his parents he was an adult; she was always smarter than him, probably because of all the books from the library she had Mon sneak out for her. He put his clothes back on and headed out of his room to find her, and opened the door to the kitchen.

“Mad?” He called out, and she turned away from her station to lock eyes with him. Lately, whenever he saw her he’d start feeling weird. His stomach felt jittery, and his palms got sweaty at the thought of her pretty green eyes or cheekbones that could cut diamonds.

“Hello,” She said as she left her working area and approached him, “What do you need?”

“I was wondering if you could help me with something,” Mon started, “I need to find a way to show my parents that I’m an adult. Do you have any suggestions?”

“Have you tried showing them your beard?” She asked.

“My beard?” He asked her. “I don’t have one.”

“Sure you do,” Mad told him, “Look above your lip; there’s fuzz.”

“Fuzz doesn’t count,” Mon told her, “I would need to show them real hair growing on my face.”

“Trust me,” Mad told him, “Your parents are so fond of you, just the tiniest sign you’ve grown up will make them feel you’re an adult.”

“You sure?” He asked.

“Positive,” She said, and there was such a powerful, unquestioning aura of self-belief in her voice and body language that made him believe her. Her self-esteem truly was inspiring, and Mon decided that one day, he would be that confident. He had every reason to be, after all. At only sixteen, he was more than certain he was the hottest guy on all of Daxam, and probably the most charming as well. If only he could get the chance to interact more with people other than his parents and servants. Once he would, though, he was pretty sure he’d have every girl on Daxam fawning over him.

“Okay,” he said as he walked away, while Mad called out, “Raospeed, Mon-El of Daxam!”

“Thanks,” He called back, before making his way towards the dining hall where his parents were holding a meeting. “Mother, father, you’ll never believe what happened…”

“Not now, son!” Lar Gand called out.

“Sorry,” Mon said, his head bowed as he started to make his way out the door, before walking back inside. “I didn’t think there was an assembly today. Why wasn’t I invited?”

“The matter does not concern you,” Rhea told him, “Only your father and I.”

“Well what’s it about?” Mon asked.

“Mon-El, why don’t you go and find that servant girl you’re so fond of?” Lar Gand told him.

“Father!” Mon grumbled, his face going red as he cringed with embarrassment.

“I’m sure she’d be more than glad to be in your company instead of working,” His father told him.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Mon said as he started to leave the room, before guilt-tripping them by saying, “I just thought you’d trust me enough to let me know what’s going on in our planet.”

There were some whispers going around between his parents and their advisors, before Rhea called out, “Son!”

“Yes mother,” He said as he turned around.

“We were discussing our people’s morale,” She explained, “Much of our population seem to be worrying about how we govern this planet. We cannot seem to find a way to make them trust us again.”

“Well they have nothing to worry about,” Mon said defensively, “I mean, we’ve done nothing but be kind to them, so then why are they so concerned?”

“It’s probably just their nature,” Lar Gand suggested.

“Yeah, well they need to be less uptight,” Mon suggested, “Someone needs to teach them to have fun. And the parties we hold aren’t doing the trick?”

“No, not anymore,” Rhea said, “I’m afraid they’ve become slightly outdated, and have ceased to entertain our population.”

Suddenly, an idea brewed in his head.

“Why don’t you put me in charge of them?” He asked.

“Put you in charge of celebrations?” Rhea asked skeptically. “You’ve never even been to one.”

“Well we can change that,” He suggested enthusiastically, “There’s one tonight, isn’t there? Let me go. Then, I’ll learn all about what people want nowadays, what they don’t want, and I’ll make some changes.”

Rhea moved closer to her husband and the two whispered in each other’s ears, before they broke apart. The former said, “Alright, son. You have our permission.”

The party, as it turned out, was pretty lame. It felt like it had been planned half a century before, as if there may have been a time when it would’ve been considered fun and modern. On top of that, the people who weren’t bored looked tense and uptight; if only there was some magical potion to help them loosen up and have fun.

“Hmmm,” He said to himself, before running out of the large room and making his way to his parent’s bedroom.

“What’s the matter?” Rhea asked. “The celebration proved too much for you?”

“I need to know where the alcohol is,” Mon told his parents, and both of them stared at him with shock.

“The alcohol?” Lar Gand asked.

“Yeah,” Mon said, “I need it to help liven up the party.

“Son, not only are you not old enough to drink any of that, but it’s been reserved for the royal family ever since we came to power,” His father told him.

“Please, father,” Mon-El begged.

“And mother,” Rhea added.

“And mother,” Mon corrected himself.

His parents exchanged a look, before his mother said, “Do you really believe that it will help our cause?”

“Yes,” Mon told them, “Trust me.”

“Then let me get it for you,” Rhea told him as she got up off the bed and left the room. She eventually came in with a crate of bottles, and handed them over to her son.

“The guests may drink,” Rhea said, “But if I so much as hear a whisper about a single drop entering your mouth, I will lock you in the dungeons.”

“I love you too, mother,” Mon said as he left the room and walked out the door, before making his way back into the kitchen, where Mad-Del was helping to clean up the dishes from the royal family’s dinner.

“Hey, do you ever mix drinks for my parents?” Mon-El asked.

“All the time,” Mad replied.

“I need your help,” He said as he picked the crate up again, and motioned with his head for her to follow him. Mon’s face started to become red as the weight of the crate became too much for him. Mad probably noticed since she asked, “Do you need help with that?”

“No, I’m fine,” Mon-El lied, “Just wouldn’t hurt to be a bit stronger, that’s all.”

Along the way, Mad picked up a small table and placed a crate of glasses on top of it, before the two walked into the dull, lifeless party.

“I can see why you need this,” Mad told him as she mixed some drinks together and handed them out to the guests, who sniffed them and instantly knew what they were. They gulped them down as if they’d never drank in their entire lives, and immediately requested seconds. Before Mon-El knew it, the entire room was buzzing with excitement and fun. The band was starting to play livelier, more upbeat and fun tunes, and soon enough everyone in the room started dancing. As the night went on, people started becoming slightly crazy, and the event that once was calm and boring now became roaring and borderline out of control. Eventually, the party moved outside, where everyone started dancing in the streets and climbing on top of buildings, screaming, “Long live Mon-El of Daxam!” like the drunken lunatics they were.

“They’re so energetic,” Mon-El commented, “I wonder what that must feel like.”

“Well maybe you won’t have to,” Mad said as she handed him a drink, “Drink up.”

“What? No, my parents told me I couldn’t,” Mon told her.

“Come on, it’s a celebration!” Mad encouraged, and Mon could tell by her excited tone of voice and loose body movements that she’d had a few too many tastes of her own medicine. “Live a little.”

Mon looked at the crowd of careless party-goers, and then back at the girl next to him.

“Fine,” He said as he chugged the drink, which burned his throat and sent pains rushing to his head. He coughed and gagged, while Mad laughed at him. He looked up at her, and said, “Give me another one,” like having another drink was the only thing that mattered to him.

“Have the bottle,” Mad said as she grabbed one and handed it to him, before grabbing her own and clicking it with his.

“Cheers,” Mon told her, before chugging the entire bottle. He gagged and coughed again, before feeling a rush of adrenaline and excitement surge through him. “I feel amazing!”

“Yeah, me too!” She said in wonder.

“Woo!” Mon shouted as he danced through the streets, while the rest of the formerly somber party-goers chanted, “Long live Mon-El! Long live Mon-El! Long live Mon-El!” on repeat.

Mon-El woke up the next morning in his bed, his head pounding and the taste of vomit lingering in his mouth. He coughed, which made his head throb even more, before the door to his room opened. In stepped his mother.

“Into the dungeons I go?” He asked her.

“On the contrary,” Rhea told him as she sat down on his bed, “Your father and I have discussed, and we would like to put you in charge of organizing celebrations from now on.”

“Really?” He asked excitedly. “That’s amazing!”

“Well, so long as you can make it to the dining room,” Rhea said, before leaving the room and closing the door shut behind her. Mon-El tried to get out of bed, but ended up collapsing on the floor and banging his chin. He grunted, before using all his might to force himself up on his feet again.

“Okay,” He started confidently, “I can do this.”

He leaned against the wall for support as he tried to walk further, before eventually making his way to the dining room, where he used his head to push the door open. Observing the shocked looks on his parents’ advisors faces, he took a seat and asked, “Am I late?”

“Your majesties,” An advisor told his parents, “He’s too young for this job. He’s not even an adult yet!”

“Look at him,” Rhea told the advisor as she gestured towards Mon-El, “I think any man with a beard like that should be considered an adult. Don’t listen to people like that, Mon-El. I’m sure you’ll do your father and I very proud.”

Mon-El smiled. “So, when do I start?”

…

Mon-El felt like he was going to be sick again. Any other day that memory would’ve made him smile, but after his conversation with Kara’s mother all it did was make him feel like a propaganda machine. That wasn’t what he was, right? No, it couldn’t have been. His parents wanted the population to let loose and have fun, not to be so distracted by partying that they’d overlook issues in society. Issues like slavery, which Mon still refused to believe existed on Daxam. Then again, after his first party he hadn’t seen Mad for a few days. There’s no way his parents did anything to her, right? No, they wouldn’t have. She was treated like family, all the servants were. Then again, the more Mon-El thought about it, the more he realized that they weren’t, as his parents told him, treated quite like family. For starters, they all slept in the same, relatively small room, while Mon-El got a huge one all to himself ever since he was a young child. Also, they never took their meals in the same room as the royal family, and they never seemed to have been given much time off. Whenever Mon-El would ask his mother about these things, she always brushed it off by saying, “That’s how things work,” and then leaving him. Some time later a servant would approach him and reassure him that they were very fortunate to be working at the palace, and that he shouldn’t waste time worrying about any of them. When his mother told him not to worry about the servants, he felt uneasy, but when it was one of their own reassuring him they were being treated well, he figured perhaps he truly didn’t have anything to worry about. Then again, if Alura was right about his parents being so manipulative, then perhaps his conversations with his servants were staged. _No,_ Mon told himself as he plugged his ears, like he was trying to stop himself from hearing his own thoughts, _stop thinking like that._ _My parents were good people, not slave owners. I have to stop wasting my time thinking about lies like this._ Once again, he tried to think about anything other than what Alura had told him, and had decided on something that usually calmed him down: _Winn. Sweet, smart, funny, beautiful Winn._ He truly was crazy about his boyfriend, even if he was constantly being ditched by him to save the city. And actually, the more he thought about it, the more he realized how stupid it would have been to be upset with Winn for leaving him to help people. It was his job; it’s not like he had a choice. Maybe he was only so upset because being left after sex was a sensitive subject for him; it was one of the reasons he always stayed the night. Looking back on it, he could perfectly remember the incident that sparked this unspoken promise to his companions…

…

A few years before the destruction of Daxam and his trapment in the Phantom Zone, Mon-El was fixing his hair in front of the mirror, trying to look good for the party that night. He still had a bit to go before he needed to show up, but he wanted to take his time to ensure he’d look his absolute best. Everytime he left the palace he made sure he was every bit as much of a sight to behold as he was the last time, and he had no intention of stopping anytime soon. But it wasn’t just the thoughts of women swooning over him, or men feeling jealous of him that provided him with motivation. That night was especially important for him: it was the first party his parents would be coming to, and the pressure was on for the usually carefree Daxamite. As always, the guest list was never ending, and he even scheduled parties across the planet for those who couldn’t make it to the capital city, something he usually only did on holidays. He felt jittery and slightly on edge, but with excitement, not nerves. Because that’s what he was: excited to have his parents see the fruits of his labour. Once they would see the population so turned up and carefree, they would finally feel as though the planet was back to the way it once was: a planet of fun and bad decisions. On some planets, it may have been considered strange to have parents witness their children partying and getting drunk, but on Daxam it was highly encouraged. It was almost like passing the torch of livelihood. Just as he finished coiffing his hair, he heard a knock at the door.

“Come in,” He called, before his mother stepped in. He noticed her staring at him for a bit, so he asked, “Why are looking at me like that?”

“You’ve grown up so fast,” Rhea commented with a bittersweet tone, “A true man now, like your father.”

“I mean, I’m not _exactly_ like him,” Mon said defensively; he loved his father, but he firmly believed he was his own person, not just a clone of someone who came before him.

“Son, there’s something I’ve come to tell you about,” Rhea started, “Your father and I have been discussing, and we’ve decided that we shouldn’t come to the celebration tonight.”

“What? Why not?” Mon-El asked.

“Well, we know you won’t understand this, since you’ve been mingling with the population for a while now…”

“...yeah, in more ways than one lately...” Mon-El muttered under his breath; ever since he’d taken up the job of planning celebrations, he was always meeting with various people across the planet, and some of which just happened to be women, and some of those just happened to go home with him every now and then. At first, he would only do this every once in awhile, but as of late he’d been “entertaining” women more and more often, to the point where he was going home with someone new almost every night. Could you really blame them, though?

“...but as King and Queen, there are certain lines between us and the people, and celebrating with them would blur those lines.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Mon said, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Oh Mon-El,” Rhea said endearingly, “don’t be sad; the rest of the planet loves your parties. You truly have brought Daxam back to its former status as a planet of celebration.”

Mon was disappointed, but he still smiled at what his mother had told him.

“Besides, we’ve invited your favourite servant to take our place,” Rhea said.

“Mad?” Mon asked, his stomach starting to churn.

“Is that her name?” Rhea asked. “I’m not as familiar with our servants’ names as I should be.”

“She’s been working for us since I was a child,” Mon reminded, a bit offended that his mother not only labeled her as his, “favourite servant” instead of friend, but also that she didn’t even bother to know her servants’ names.

“Anyways, she’ll be waiting for you at the party,” Rhea said as she started to leave the room, “If you need your father or me, you can find us in the dining room.”

“Bye,” Mon said, before his mother exited. When she told him she and his father weren’t showing up, he was pretty disappointed, and a bit pissed off, but once she broke the news that Mad would be taking their place, those feelings were replaced with excitement and nerves. He looked out the window and noticed the sun was setting: it was time to leave. After heading out the door and hurriedly flirting with a few girls he passed on the way, he arrived at the party, where he instantly noticed Mad-Del waiting for him by the bar (which Mon-El insisted they install for the mixologists). The sight of her took his breath away; he’d encountered no shortage of beautiful women in his life, but she was something else entirely. Her soft, luscious hair flowed like a waterfall, and her tight clothes perfectly hugged her slender figure.

“Hi,” She said as she turned to him, and he almost forgot what to say back.

“Um...hi!” He said once he finally got his brain to work again. “I’m so glad you’re here! My parents refused to come”

“That’s too bad,” She said as she took a seat at the bar; around her were dancing partiers and  lively music, but the only thing he could see or hear was her.

“Come,” She said as she took Mon’s hand and pulled him over to the dance floor, where the two spent nearly the entire night partying and celebrating like the world would end the next day. Eventually, certain party-goers got a bit out of hand, and the celebration was moved out on the streets once again. Just as Mon was about to join them, Mad pulled him back and kissed him, her hands rubbing over his toned muscles as she groped them with the same fierceness her eyes possessed. He returned the favour by rubbing against her and kissing back with the passion of a drunken prince, before the two found themselves out the building and on the streets.

“Have you ever had sex on one of the spacecrafts before?” She asked him, still kissing him.

“No, I can’t say that I have,” Mon-El murmured against her lips.

“Wanna try?” She asked as she briefly opened her eyes and gave him a seductive wink.

“Yeah, sure,” He told her; it was a weird request, but he didn’t care where he was having sex so long as it was with her. The two eventually made their way to the nearest ship, still feeling and kissing each other as they walked inside, where Mad pushed him down on the floor and jumped on top of him. He squirmed out of his clothes frantically while she did the same, before the two engaged in the best night of passion he’d ever experienced. He’d always been attracted to her, but finally getting to act on that attraction was sublime. He wasn’t sure exactly when it happened, but he remembered her whipping out a drink she had stolen from the bar earlier that night and giving it to him; after that his memory had gone blank.

The next thing he remembered was waking up the next morning, alone and naked on the streets of Daxam. He sat up in a panic and grabbed his clothes from the night before, which were left in a neatly folded pile next to him. He used them to cover his more private areas, and made his way to the palace. Thankfully, the night before had proven hard on seemingly everyone, and no one dared leave the comfort of their own homes just to go out in the bright sun. Once inside his palace, he ran into a corner and got changed as quickly as he could, before making his way up to his room. He collapsed onto his bed as the memories from the night before started to come back to him. _I had sex with Mad-Del,_ he thought to himself _, I actually just had sex with Mad-Del. Rao, things are gonna be so awkward between us._ As he thought more about the night before, he remembered a pretty important detail about that morning: he woke up alone and in the streets. No clothes. No spacecraft. No Mad. He noticed something light but scratchy in his pocket, and when he reached inside he pulled out a note. It read:

_Dear Mon-El,_

_I’m not entirely sure what you’re thinking, to be honest, but I’m pretty sure you feel like I don’t care about you. Well, that’s because I don’t. Oh, don’t take it personally; I had to get away from the life I was living on Daxam, something you probably know little to nothing about. I’m not sorry, but I do believe, however, that I owe you an explanation as to why I didn’t invite you to leave with me. The answer is simple: I never wanted to be with you romantically. Or intimately. Or at all, to tell you the truth. Again, not personal; simply preference. But who knows? Maybe in some alternate reality I did. I doubt it, however; I’d like to believe that in every life I have standards. Anyways, sorry if this was a bit short, but I’ve got a lifetime of happiness to live, and I don’t really feel like letting you hold me back from it any longer._

_Mad-Del of Daxam._

Mon-El put the note down, his hands shaking as he finished reading it. _She left me,_ he thought _, she was my friend, and she left me._ She didn’t need him. But he knew what _he_ needed: a drink. He stormed out of his room and made his way to the nearest bar, which was all but raided of its alcohol after last night. The bartender was still working there, so she prepared a drink and handed it over to him.

“Thanks,” Mon-El told her as he drank it quickly.

“Rough night?” The bartender asked.

“You’re asking me?” He said with a small laugh, as the woman twirled her fingers in her disheveled hair and fixed her half-off top.

“Fair point,” She told him.

“And yeah, it was a rough night,” Mon told her as she poured him another drink, which he quickly downed without thinking twice, “I mean, this girl I slept with drugged me and escaped the planet before I even woke up.”

“Ouch,” The bartender replied.

“Yeah,” Mon said, “I mean, I’ve never left someone in the middle of the night before, but after that I don’t think I ever will. It does something to a person, you know?”

“Uh-huh,” The bartender replied, “I know all about that.”

Mon-El scanned her; her figure was curvy, and her face was so beautiful she could’ve been a descendent of the Sun god himself.

“Hey, why don’t we help, um, each other move on?” Mon asked.

“My shift doesn’t end for a while,” She told him.

“I don’t really think anyone else is gonna be in the mood to drink today,” Mon-El told her.

She shrugged, before leaning down to kiss the prince’s lips. The embrace was messy, and not very sweet, but they both needed each other for the same thing: bodily comfort in the time of heartbreak. Nothing more. So what if one girl decided to use him to escape her job as a servant? She didn’t matter. He’d find other women. Women who would actually want him. Women who’d go absolutely insane for his handsome face and taut body, and who’d appreciate his boundless charm and charisma. And he wouldn’t leave them before the sun came up.

…

Tears were forming in Mon-El’s eyes, not because he was thinking about Mad leaving him after sex, but because he realized that, no matter how much he denied it, what Alura had told him was the truth. His parents were slave owners. _He_ was a slave owner. He felt sick to his stomach thinking about what he had done, and how he had been so blind and stupid. Why didn’t he figure out that his servants were enslaved? Why didn’t he figure out that he was being used to subdue the population and keep them from realizing how oppressed they were? Why didn’t he stand up to his parents instead of being such a dumb asshole? Right, because of who he was: an arrogant, selfish man, as Alura had so kindly put it. However, as horrible as the revelation was for him, it would be even worse for Winn. How was his beloved human going to react when he finds out that his supposedly perfect alien boyfriend was really a monster? Should he even tell Winn in the first place? Perhaps he should just keep it as his own little secret. _No,_ Mon-El thought, _I shouldn’t keep any secrets from him. Besides, the last time I lied about my past I ended up telling him and everyone else the truth anyways. I have to tell him._ Mon-El’s gut wrenched and his stomach churned as he thought of doing so, and soon enough it became too much for him. He bolted out of the bathroom and made his way back into the training room, and even though he was pretty sure that a few agents were calling his name, he continued walking anyways. He needed to be alone for now, to wallow in his sadness and self-loathing until he could think of some better way to work off his emotions. _Working out,_ he thought, _that always takes my mind off things._

Once inside the training room, he made his way down the stairs and grabbed onto the pullup bar, lifting himself up and down again and again in an attempt to distract himself from his guilt, which was completely consuming him like termites to a block of wood. He tried to focus on the task at hand, but his mind would wander off and end up focusing on his new past. No matter what he did, whether it was pull-ups or weight lifting, and no matter what he tried to think about, whether it how delicious the steak he and Winn cooked was or how terrifying the movie he and Winn watched was, he couldn’t stop thinking about the servants who were enslaved to him. Those people had families, and homes, and dreams, but because of his parents they were forced to give up their lives, their to serve him, all the while being treated like inanimate objects. On what world was that right? And on what world was it right for someone to keep a planet of people aloof and drunk so they wouldn’t realize how fucked up their society was? Mon-El was ill thinking about how he had praised his home planet earlier that day, and how he even told Winn that he wished he could’ve seen it. Daxam didn’t deserve to have Winn. _He_ didn’t deserve to have Winn. Daxam was nothing but a world of oppression dressed up in fun wrapping paper, and he was nothing but a spoiled prince too stupid to realize it. No, he didn’t deserve Winn. But he definitely still wanted him, and although it was selfish, he hoped like hell that Winn would too after finding out about the Daxamite’s past. After a half hour passed of waiting for Winn to show up, Mon-El decided he should probably go look for him, just in case he was done his work and had started to search the DEO for him. Making his way out of the training room, he eventually found himself at Winn’s desk, where surprisingly enough, his boyfriend was nowhere to be found. He scanned the agents walking by and tried to see if Winn was one of them, but had no luck. Taking a seat at his desk, he found himself getting lost in thought again. He tried to bring himself back to reality, but it was no use; his mind was drifting away again, like a kite in a storm of self loathing. _I should’ve figured it out,_ Mon-El thought to himself, _I should’ve done something about it. But no; instead I just helped my asshole parents rule the world. How can I ever live with myself?_

“Hey!” Winn’s voice called as he walked up to him. “I asked some people to go get you earlier. Where were you?” Mon spun his chair around to see his boyfriend standing there, with two ice cream cones and a smile so beaming it was blinding. Mon took in the sight of his boyfriend, happy and cheerful and still looking at the Daxamite as if he were perfect. It was probably the last time he’d ever see him like that.  

“I was in the training room,” Mon explained, trying to hide his glumness. “What’s with the ice cream?”

“What? Oh, right,” Winn said as he remembered what he was holding, “It’s just a little something I got you to thank you for being, you know, the most awesome boyfriend in all existence. Look, I know it’s not that easy dating someone who could get whisked away at any second to go be a genius, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate how cool you’re being with it. ”

Mon-El’s heart broke at the shower of compliments Winn just rained down on him; he didn’t deserve to be praised like that. Although, as Mon fully processed what Winn just told him, one particular sentence stood out like a splash of colour on a plain white canvas.

“Did you just call yourself a genius?” Mon asked, a smile creeping onto his face. Winn’s jaw dropped slightly as he realized what he had just said, before a look of embarrassment came onto his face.

“Well, I guess there’s probably, maybe some degree of truth to the things you say about me,” Winn admitted, “Maybe I am pretty smart.”

“You are,” Mon told him sincerely, before glancing over at Winn’s computer screen and noticing some kind of code with strange symbols.

“What were you working on?” Mon asked curiously.

“Oh this?” Winn asked as he looked over. “These transmissions have been coming in from some distant planet for Supergirl. Someone’s been asking for her to go help them stop a slave-trading ring.”

As soon as Mon heard the word “slave”, the happiness he felt for Winn’s confidence was shattered by memories of his earlier revelations, which circled back to him like a boomerang.

“Hey, you okay?” Winn asked with curious concern. “You look like me after I found out the price of _Hamilton_ tickets. Cheer up: I have ice cream.”

Winn handed a cone over to Mon-El, who reluctantly accepted it and licked the scoop of the delicious, creamy food. _I don’t deserve this,_ Mon thought as its taste sent joy surging through him like electricity, _It’s sweet and pure and tastes amazing and too good for me. Just like Winn._

“Hey, I know I was joking about it before,” Winn started, “But are you okay? You seem really down.”

“Down for what?” Mon asked.

“No, like down as in sad,” Winn explained.

“Oh,” Mon said as he bowed his head, making sure not to lock eyes with Winn when he told him, “I’m fine. I was just working out before, so I’m pretty tired. That’s all.”

“Okay,” Winn said, probably knowing that Mon was lying, “But you know that if there’s, like, anything wrong you can talk to me, right?”

“Yeah, of course Winn,” Mon reassured as he took his hand, before Winn leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. Mon leaned forward, eagerly anticipating a comforting kiss after his recent revelations, before a booming voice called out,“Agents! No excessive displays of affection while at work, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mon muttered to himself as he separated from Winn; he knew J’onn was just doing his job by stopping his kiss with Winn, but at that moment a nice mouth-on-mouth with the most amazing person on the planet would’ve been exactly what he needed to feel better. Than again, he was a propaganda-distributing slave owner, so he didn’t deserve to feel better. What he did deserve was to wallow in self-loathing for the rest of his life. As horrible as Mon-El felt for what he had done on Daxam, he felt even worse for what he had done to Winn. Winn had serious trust issues, and just as he had finally realized that not everyone he loved would end up being an asshole, this happened. Poor Winn; he deserved better than Mon-El.

“Mon-El?” J’onn asked, shattering Mon’s inner world of thought like it was the saddest of stained glass windows. “Do you understand?”

“Srr... _yeah_ ,” Mon said, dragging his words to buy him time to figure out what J’onn had told him, “Yup. I get it.”

“You weren’t listening,” J’onn concluded. ‘I know it’s true. I didn’t even need to read your mind to know you were distracted.”

Mon suddenly felt himself getting increasingly nervous; if J’onn was a telepath, could he read Mon’s mind and find out the truth about his past on Daxam? J’onn looked at him suspiciously, probably noticing his change in attitude, before looking away and back at Winn. Mon sighed with relief, thankful that J’onn let him keep his thoughts to himself.

‘Would you like me to repeat what these are for?” J’onn asked as he gestured to the stack of documents that were suddenly on the Daxamite’s lap. “They’re for you two to fill out once you get the chance. You’re a workplace couple, and these are necessary to maintaining a professional work environment.”

Mon looked down at the tall stack of documents and swore under his breath. He desperately needed to talk to Winn about what he had learned from Alura, but now all they were going to be doing that night was filling out stupid forms restricting their passion. Then again, once they finally do have that conversation, perhaps the contracts wouldn’t be necessary after all.

“Mon-El?” J’onn asked in frustration.

“What?” Mon asked instinctively, before facepalming; it was more obvious than ever now that he wasn’t paying attention.

“Sorry sir,” Winn apologized for his boyfriend, “We-we’ll let you know if there’s anything we disagree with in the contracts.”

J’onn nodded and walked back to his desk, before Winn turned to Mon-El and asked, “What’s gotten into you?”

“I’m sorry,” Mon said as he rubbed his face in an attempt to wake himself up, “I’m just really distracted right now.”

“About what?” Winn asked with concern and curiosity.

“I’m not really ready to tell anyone right now,” Mon confessed, “But I will be eventually, and when I am I’ll make sure you’re the first to know.”

“Okay,” Winn said as he looked at him nervously, before bowing his head and saying, “This may or may not sound totally crazy, but does this by any chance have to do with last night?”

“What? Oh no, Winn,” Mon reassured, hating himself for making Winn feel like he had done anything wrong, “Last night was perfect, and so are you. Don’t blame yourself for me being so mopey.”

Winn nodded as he continued licking his ice cream, before saying,“Well, my work day’s done, so I’m heading out. You?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

The two finished their ice creams before making their way inside the elevator, where Mon forced a smile on his face, so Winn would be at least slightly convinced he was okay.

…

_Why’d he just smile at me like that?_ Winn thought to himself. _It doesn’t make sense; he’s been moody ever since I finished helping Kara. Why would he randomly smile?_ The joyous expression on Mon-El’s face felt so out of place given the Daxamite’s demeanor that Winn almost thought he was faking it to throw him off his trail. _No, that’s just my anxiety talking,_ Winn told himself, _Mon-El trusts me enough that he would talk to me if something’s bothering him._ However, if that were true than why was Mon acting so weirdly? It was like a completely different person had taken over him. Maybe he was just tired from working out, like he said. Or maybe something else was going on with him. Something like his boyfriend ditching him after the first time they had sex. And then again the first time Mon actually took the time to explain his culture and identity to him. Poor Mon; he probably felt like Winn was just using him for sex.

“Hey, do you wanna hang out tonight?” Winn asked, hoping he could show Mon-El how much he cared about him, and how he wasn’t just using him for his body. “I mean, I know _I_ would love to, but if you don’t wanna I guess I could get over it. I mean, it’s not like our date was the most perfect night of my existence or anything.”

A hint of a smile broke out onto Mon-El’s face, but he fought it back like it was water pouring onto a canoe.

“No yeah,” Mon said, “I’d love to hang out. We’re gonna be pretty busy though, because of those contracts.”

Winn looked at the files tucked under Mon-El’s arm and swore under his breath; just when he thought he and his boyfriend could have a night away from work, J’onn gave him contracts to fill out. It wasn’t really J’onn’s fault though; those contracts had to get done as soon as possible, and who was he to know that Mon-El was feeling neglected because of Winn’s job? Well, he was a telepath after all, but still: it’s not like he went around reading his agents’ minds to learn about their personal lives or anything.

“I promise we won’t spend the whole night filling these out,” Winn said as he put his hand on the stack of papers, “We can watch a movie and cuddle on the couch if you want? Or binge something on Netflix, or play a board game, or even just sit and talk...I’m really down for whatever so long as I’m with you.”

Mon fought back a smile again, before saying, “Well, we’ll get started on our work and see where the night takes us. I mean, we don’t have to decide what we wanna do right now, do we?”

“No, of course not,” Winn told him, “I just wanna make sure you don’t have any other plans or something.”

“Winn, I’d cancel all my plans, no matter who they were with or what I was supposed to be doing, if it meant hanging out with you.”

Winn blushed, before quickly realizing Mon-El was yet again trying to throw him off his trail. _That sneaky little shit,_ Winn thought angrily. However, there was a hint of sadness in the Daxamite’s voice when he said what he said, so much so that it felt like not only did he mean what he said, but also like that moment may have been one of the last chances he’d get to say it. _Just my imagination,_ Winn thought to himself.

…

_Okay, it’s definitely not just my imagination,_ Winn thought to himself as he sat across from Mon-El at the dinner table.  Something was wrong with Mon; he hadn’t so much as picked up his fork to eat his dinner for the past hour, and his eyes were filled to the brim with melancholy. And it wasn’t even that he was busy filling out his contracts either; he was just staring off into space, looking like he was about to break down at any second. Winn felt horrible knowing that he was the one who caused the usually carefree and fun Daxamite to feel this way, and figured that maybe confronting him about it would be good for the both of them.

“Okay,” Winn said, “uh-huh, I know what this is about.”

“What what’s about?” Mon asked, using his innocence as a shield to protect himself from Winn’s accusations.

“You’ve been acting weirdly ever since I left you in the training room,” Winn explained, “And I have no problem with you being sad or anything, I just wish you would tell me why. But I think I already know.”

“You do?” Mon asked, worriedness seeping into him.

“Yeah,” Winn said, “Look, I’m sorry work keeps getting in the way of us. I really am. And I’m sorry you didn’t get the chance to finish explaining Daxam to me. We can finish next week! Or tomorrow, or tonight, or whenever you want! I just want you to know that I care about you, and that I’m not just in it to have sex and then leave whenever you try to show me your personality. Your personality’s my favourite part of you, actually. So please, I’m really, really sorry about all this, but know that I still care about you, and not just because of how you look or what we do in bed.”

Mon-El really looked like he was about to cry now.

“Winn,” He started, his voice croaky with tears before he cleared his throat, “That’s not why I’ve been so miserable. At all. What’s going on with me has nothing to do with you, and it breaks my heart to hear that you think you’re to blame, especially after I thought you were starting to be as confident as you should be.”

“So if you’re not upset about me,” Winn started, “Then what’s wrong?”

Mon looked Winn right in his eyes, his own puppy dog ones shining so sadly they looked even bluer than usual. But not in a good way.

“How did you react when you first heard that your dad did whatever he did to land him in prison?”

Winn wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that.

“You know what? On second thought, you don’t have to answer that,” Mon started, “it was stupid, and you probably don’t wanna talk about it…”

“No, no, it’s okay, Mon-El,” Winn told him reassuringly, “To be honest though, I think it’s one of those things I think about so much that I kinda forgot what my initial reaction was. I remember feeling guilty, though.”

“Guilty?” Mon asked with a surprised voice. “Why would you feel guilty about what your father did?”

“Well he only did what he did because this guy stole his designs and took the credit for them,” Winn explained, “And I figured the main reason why he was so upset was because he wanted to use those plans to provide for me. I felt like if it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have snapped. Not only that, but I felt like I was stupid for not realizing what kind of person he was. If I did, then maybe I could’ve stopped what happened. I still feel that way, sometimes. To tell you the truth, I think that’s one of the reasons I love helping people so much. You know? To, like, work off my guilt.”

A strange change came over Mon-El, as if what Winn had just told him was the solution to all his problems.

“I have to go,” Mon told Winn, before standing up hurriedly. Winn was so confused; did Mon-El feel guilty about something?

“Thank-you so much, Winn,” Mon said as he pressed a kiss to his cheek before waving goodbye and exiting the door.

“No problem?” Winn asked the dead air.

…

Mon-El just finished climbing the last flight of stairs before Kara’s apartment, his blood boiling and his heart racing. Kara was his friend, and if it weren’t for her being there for him he may not have ever gotten together with Winn in the first place, but she knew about his planet’s history of slavery and didn’t tell him. She must’ve known it was kept from him; why’d she let him go on thinking his planet and parents were perfect when in reality they were anything but? He found himself in front of Kara’s front door, where he knocked so loudly and so aggressively he was sure he was about to punch a hole in it. He eventually saw the handle twitching, before the door swung open and revealed Kara standing across from him, looking like she had a bit of a buzz going on. She must’ve snuck some alcohol from the alien bar into her drinks; she always did that at parties and gatherings to blend in with her friends more easily.

“Hey, what’s up?” Kara asked.

“When were you gonna tell me I was a slave owner?” Mon-El asked angrily.

Kara may have been slightly tipsy, but it took her no time to process what she was being asked.

“Oh shit.”

…

Kara slammed the door as quickly and strongly as she could without destroying it, before turning around and using her back to keep Mon-El from opening it again. It was times like this when she was infinitely grateful to be so much stronger than him.

“Kara,” Lena started cautiously, “What’s going on?”

“Oh nothing much,” Kara said with a sheepish laugh as she used all her might to keep Mon from pushing the door open (he really was stronger when he was emotional), “Just out of curiousity, have you ever, oh I don’t know, not told someone something pretty important because you felt like you were sparing them but it only ends up coming back to bite you?”

“Well that’s very specific,” Lena commented with a small laugh, “But I guess so.”

“Well it’s coming back to bite me,” Kara said worriedly, before another series of powerful knocks came upon the door.

“Kara, open the fucking door right now,” Mon ordered, and Kara could hear the fury in his voice, “I’m being serious.”

“Well can you promise me you won’t lose your shit and attack me or something?” Kara asked.“Because, be honest, we both know who’d lose that fight.”

“Attack you?” Mon asked. “Kara, I don’t wanna fight, I just want you to tell me why you kept my own past a secret from me. It wasn’t right, and I don’t think you’d be very happy if someone did the same to you.”

Kara grumbled to herself; he was right. She hated when Mon-El was right. After opening the door, she saw him on the other side, his eyes wet with the tears he was holding back and his face covered with the specific brand of sadness that guilt brought upon people.

“How’d you find out?” Kara asked.

“I had a little chat with your mom,” Mon told her as he walked in, before seeing Lena sitting on the couch, “Hey Lena, do you mind if you give Kara and I some privacy?”

“No, not at all, Mon-El,” Lena said understandingly as she got up off the couch.

“Thanks…” Mon looked at her, then took off his fake glasses and looked at them, before putting them back on and looking back at Lena again. “You know I’m an alien?”

“Yes,” Lena told him, “And that Kara’s one too. I had my suspicions, but it was pretty much confirmed when I had to take off her glasses for when we...well, you know’d.”

“Great,” Mon said sarcastically, “I haven’t even gotten a costume yet and already too many people know my identity.”

“Wait, are you talking about becoming a superhero?” Kara asked.

“I’ll get to that…” Mon started, before Lena interrupted by saying, “I should probably go.”

“Yes,” Both Mon and Kara said at the same time. Lena walked by Mon-El and made her way over to Kara, where she gave her girlfriend a kiss and exchanged goodnights before leaving the apartment.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Mon asked, looking so hurt and betrayed by his friend.

Kara sighed.

“Do you remember when CADMUS tried to unleash the Medusa virus on the alien population?” Kara asked.

“Yeah,” Mon said, “I mean, I don’t see what it has to do with anything, but yeah, I remember. I was sick with it and felt like I was dying. Thank Rao I had Winn there to help me through it.”

“And do you remember when I told you about how my parents were the ones who created it?”

“Yeah,” Mon said, a pensive look in his eyes as he most likely started to see where she was going with this.

“I was heartbroken when I found that out,” Kara explained, “I spent my whole life believing that Krypton was this perfect place, and that my parents were good people, only to find out they were making weapons of mass destruction. The way you remembered Daxam and your parents was so similar to the way I remembered Krypton, and I didn’t wanna take your perfect image of your home and family away from you.”

“So what, do you expect a thank-you?” Mon asked.

“No! Look, it was a stupid decision,” Kara told him self-deprecatingly, her voice starting to weaken, “I thought about telling you the truth, but all that kinda got put to the backburner after Lena’s gala when you had that whole thing with Winn. I’m sorry, okay? I should’ve told you.”

Mon looked at her with a mix of anger and sadness, but also a hint of understanding.

“Yeah, you should’ve,” Mon said, “Well, do you wanna make up for it?”

“Sure,” Kara said.

“Winn told me about how you and him have been tracking a slave trading ring,” Mon started, “And how you’re gonna find it and shut it down. Let me come with you. Let me help free them, and maybe then I’ll have made up for my past. I was too blind and brainwashed to help the slaves on my planet, but if I can stop what happened to them from happening to anyone else, then I’ll do it.”

Kara thought for a moment; Mon-El wanted to help people. Selfish, arrogant Mon-El wanted to help people.

“I thought you weren’t the hero type,”  Kara commented.

“I’m not,” He told her, sounding almost offended at the idea, “You don’t have to be a hero to do the right thing. I’m still gonna help out without being some cardboard cutout boy scout.”

“You do realize that by doing this you’ll have to start training with me?” Kara warned. “And you’ll have to start helping me fight crime in the city as practice, and you’ll have to do a whole lot of other stuff that won’t be easy.”

“I know,” Mon told her, “I’ll do whatever it takes. I just wanna make up for all the pain I’ve caused and be the kind of person I can live with being. And the kind of person Winn would be proud to call his boyfriend. Please Kara, let me help.”

Kara thought for a moment.

“Alright.”

…

Winn was in his pyjamas and already tucked under his bedsheets when he heard a knock on the door. He crawled out of bed and walked over there, where he saw Mon-El standing on the other side, still looking like he was about to cry.

“I’m sorry I ran out on you earlier,” Mon told him sincerely, “I was going through something...well, I’m still going through something, and I had to go sort through some things.”

“Oh, okay,” Winn said, “You ready to talk about it?”

“That’s why I’m here,” Mon told him, “Can I come in?”

“Oh right, yeah sorry about that,” Winn said as he remembered that he hadn’t let his boyfriend into his apartment yet, “Come on in.”

Mon walked in, and followed Winn to his bedroom, where they both took a seat on it and sighed. Winn noticed that Mon-El was staring at him, a look of despair in his eyes.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Winn asked.

Mon averted his gaze and apologized for staring, before saying, “I’m just taking in the way you’re looking at me.”

“Like I’m freaking the hell out about whatever’s going on with you?” Winn asked.

“Like you think I’m perfect,” Mon corrected glumly.

“That’s because you are,” Winn told him as he cupped his head, before the alien cringed and pulled himself away.

“No, I’m not,” Mon told him self-deprecatingly, “I’m really not. Winn, there’s something I need to...” Mon tried to open his mouth to continue speaking, but his face muscles clenched like he was fighting himself not to. He tried again and again, but the words always either refused to form or choked him on their way out.

“I...I can’t…” Mon started, his tears choking him as he fought them back and tried to no avail to take a deep breath, “...can’t speak...”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Winn told him sincerely as he took his hand, “You don’t have to. You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“No, I do,” Mon said as he wiped a tear from his face, before taking a deep breath. “Okay, I’m ready now.”

…

By the time Mon-El was finished with his confession, Winn was so shocked he couldn’t even speak. His lips were frozen shut, and his hands wouldn’t even move to wipe the tears of the Daxamite’s face.

“So after I went home with you,” Mon started again, “you mentioned that thing about how part of why you help people is to work off your guilt. I knew as soon as I heard that what I had to do. I rushed over to Kara’s and told her I wanted to help her stop that slave-trafficking ring you’ve been tracking. She told me what I expected: that I’d have to train with her, and that I’ll have to help people in this city first, and that it’ll be hard but the truth is, I don’t care. Whatever’s necessary, I’ll do it. Now that I know the truth about what I’ve done, I can’t go back to just sitting by and doing nothing.”

Winn needed some time to process everything he’d been told, although his general reaction to it was already clear to him.

“I guess I should give you some time to process all that,” Mon told him as he nodded in understanding, before getting up off the bed and making his way to the bedroom door, causing Winn’s full brain capacity to click into place.

“Wait!” Winn called, and Mon stopped in the doorway and turned around. “Don’t go. Look, what you told me doesn’t change how I feel about you. Yeah, you did some pretty horrible things, but you didn’t know that’s what you were doing and you’re trying to make up for it now.” Winn patted the area of the bed next to him, and Mon took the hint by sitting down next to him. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. That was your past. You’re a different person now. A person I lo-” Winn stopped mid-sentence. _Too soon,_ he told himself, embarrassed he even thought about saying it yet, _Way too soon_. “A person I really care about.”

Mon looked into his eyes desperately, before Winn tucked himself in and gestured for the Daxamite to join him. Mon crawled under the sheets and turned on his side, before resting his head on Winn’s chest as the human wrapped his arm around his waist.

“I hate them,” Mon told Winn, “My parents, I mean. I hate them so much. They made me into the horrible person I am.”

“You’re not a horrible person,” Winn reassured, “You didn’t know, and even if you did, what could you have done about it? Your parents were in control of the entire planet, it’s not like you could’ve been able to change anything while you were still just the prince.”

“Tell that to the slaves who were forced to work for me,” Mon said, before burying his head in Winn’s chest, “Why didn’t I figure out what my parents were doing to them? Looking back on it, it seemed so obvious.”

“Don’t think like that,” Winn told him as he stroked his hair, “I thought the same way about my dad, and look what it did for me. I don’t want you to hate yourself.”

“I only hate myself when I should,” Mon reminded him, his head still buried in Winn’s chest.

“You shouldn’t hate yourself at all,” Winn told him, “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Turbulent past and all.”

…

Mon-El’s heart began to warm at Winn’s compliments, but they weren’t enough to fully cancel out the guilt that was eating him up inside. He kept his head buried in Winn’s chest, and the human could probably feel the tears soaking the fabric of his undershirt since he asked him , “Do you need to cry?”

“What? No,” Mon said defensively, yet his eyes and voice betrayed him. _No,_ he thought to himself as he fought off the urge to weep _, I can’t cry. I have to stay strong for Winn, or else he’ll stop believing I can protect and comfort him. Not only that, but if I start crying then he’ll be miserable too, and I can’t have that. Only I deserve to be sad about this. Not him._

“It’s okay if you need to,” Winn reassured him, “You take care of me when I’m sad, so at least let me do the same for you.”

“I don’t need to cry,” Mon told him as firmly as he could, “I’m fine.”

“Mon-El,” Winn started, “You’ve been through a lot today. It’s totally normal for you to…”

“...stop.” Mon interrupted behind his tears, the firmness of his formerly weak and timid voice startling Winn. “Just stop encouraging me to break down, alright? What I need is for you to encourage me _not_ to cry. I can’t cry! I have to be strong for you, and for me, and for…”

Mon stopped speaking because he knew that if he tried to get just another word out, all he’d do was break down. Sure enough, it was too late. He tried to stop, but once he got started it was all his mind allowed him to do. He tugged at his hair in an attempt to  regain control of himself, but it was no use; he’d spent hours shoving down his tears to the point where once they were let out, it felt like there was no way they’d ever stop.

“Hey, hey,” Winn said softly and comfortingly as he stroked him, “Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Just let it all out.”

“No,” He sobbed, “I....can’t...I have to be strong for you…”

“I never thought you weren’t,” Winn reassured, “but why are you acting like crying is the worst possible thing you can do? Is this the first time you’ve cried since you became an adult or something?”

“No,” Mon told him as he wiped his tears on Winn’s shirt, “I cried on Daxam, but very rarely, and I cried on the night of Lena’s gala, when I was trying to figure out why I felt the way I did around you. And I almost cried again a few times when you were ignoring me.”

“So you’ve cried before,” Winn told him, “What’s changed?”

Mon took his head out of Winn’s chest, not even caring that Winn was seeing his teary eyes, and said, “We got together. I made kind of a silent promise to myself that I would be the emotional rock in the relationship, and that I could never show myself being sad or else you’d stop thinking I can comfort you.”

Winn nodded in understanding, before saying, “What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I told you not to cry in front of me? What kind of one-sided relationship would we have if only I could ever get comforted? Yeah, I do need you to comfort me more often than not, but that doesn’t mean we can’t take turns being the supportive one. Here, how about we make a deal? You cry for just this one night, and I’ll be the one to help get you through it. How does that sound?”

Mon nodded, and as soon as he did the tears resumed and he started weeping all over again, not even caring how weird and unnatural it felt to be doing it in front of the man he was supposed to be strong for. The overwhelming urge to give in to his natural response was too powerful to be shoved down, and he figured that just for that one night, he wouldn’t fight it. Once he was finished he could go back to being strong and masculine for Winn, who was stroking his hair and kissing his forehead comfortingly.

“I’m cold,’ Mon told Winn behind his tears, “Rao, I don’t know why I’m so cold. I thought I was supposed to be invulnerable to temperatures or something.”

“I guess it’s like mind over matter,” Winn suggested, “Like how certain emotions can make you feel certain temperatures, like when you’re turned on you get hot and when you’re scared you get cold. Make sense?”

“Hmm,” Mon hummed into Winn’s shirt, before his teeth chattered and his whole body shivered.

“You’re cold?” Winn asked, and Mon nodded. “Well then, let’s get you warm.”

Winn carefully lifted Mon’s head off his chest and got out of bed, before telling his boyfriend, “I’m only leaving to go get some blankets, okay? I’ll be back soon.”

“Yeah,” Mon said, his voice still croaky as Winn left the room. By the time he came back, he was carrying an army of blankets in his hands, which he dumped onto the bed. Crawling in, Winn carefully placed the warm, cozy pieces of cloth on top of himself and Mon-El, before nestling into his boyfriend. Winn was lying behind Mon, his stomach against his boyfriend's back as he wrapped his arms around the Daxamite’s waist. Mon was usually the one giving his warmth and comfort to Winn, and the one with his crotch near his boyfriend’s butt, so to say it felt a bit strange for their positions to have been switched was an understatement. Strange, but even more comforting. Mon cried into his pillow while Winn kissed him on the cheek, and when he lifted his head to catch his breath he also caught Winn’s expression, bleak and sad just like his. Mon felt awful for dragging his sweet, innocent boyfriend down his rabbit hole of misery, and tried to think of a way to make it up to him. _The next time he’s sad,_ Mon thought to himself _, I’m gonna try to make him feel better. I’ll make a joke out of it, or something, anything to make him smile again.  I just care about him too much to see him like this._ That night, however, he and Winn would just have to be content with being miserable. Mon turned around and faced Winn, before burying his head in the human’s shoulder and hugging him tightly, nestling into his impossibly comfortable body.

“This feels kinda nice,” Mon commented, “The crying, I mean. It feels nice to let it all out.”

“Yeah, I know,” Winn reassured as he gently rocked his boyfriend.

“Do think maybe I can do this more often?” Mon asked. “I mean, not _that_ often, just if I really need to.”

“Yeah, of course,” Winn said, sounding somewhere between glad that Mon was giving up his hypermasculine act and weirded out that he needed to ask for permission in the first place. As Mon let his tears fall and as Winn rocked him gently, a loud buzzing sound interrupted their moment.

…

“Oh, sorry about that,” Winn said as he crawled over Mon-El’s body to reach his phone on the nightstand, “It’s just my phone.”

“Okay,” Mon said glumly as Winn returned to his position, while the latter checked the message he had been sent. It was from Alex, and read: “Hey could you come into work and help me out? I’m really swamped.” Winn grumbled to himself, feeling angry at Alex for even suggesting he leave Mon’s side. Sure, she didn’t know about what his boyfriend was going through, but she must’ve known they had plans or something. He texted back, “can’t sry,” and put his phone back on the counter.

“Everything okay?” Mon asked, his voice starting to regain its usual sturdiness and sound.

“Yeah, it is now,” Winn reassured him with a quick but no less meaningful kiss to the cheek, before returning himself and his boyfriend to their former, cozy positioning. He wasn’t going to lie to himself; he did enjoy the swapping of their positions, and hoped Mon did too. Well, as much as you can enjoy anything after your whole world gets turned upside down. He continued cuddling with Mon-El, before another text alert from his phone went off.

“I got it,” Mon said as he reached onto the nightstand and handed Winn his phone.

“Thanks,” Winn said, before reading the message James had sent him: “I could rly use ur help now. Know it’s late but plz.” Winn grumbled again, before Mon mumbled sadly, “Do you need to go?”

“Whatnoofcoursenotwhywouldyouevensaysomethinglikethat,” Winn said spastically.

“It’s okay if you need to,” Mon told him, although the mopey look in his puppy dog eyes said otherwise, “I’m fine with it. I mean, for the next few weeks I’ll be pretty busy too, so I understand.”

“But I’ll be with you all the time,” Winn reassured, although he couldn’t stop hints of nervousness and uncertainty from seeping into his voice.

“Yeah,” Mon admitted, “You and Kara, training me 24/7.”

“Well, I mean you’ll still have some you-time,” Winn told him.

Mon looked at him glumly.

“Me-time isn’t what I’m concerned about,” He told him, and Winn understood immediately.

“Don’t worry,” He told him comfortingly, “I’m sure you’ll make time for me…” Winn stopped when he realized how self-centered that sounded. “I mean, for me or for Kara or for anything else you may…”

“For you,” Mon told him sincerely, “Definitely you.”

Winn gave him a hint of a smile and texted back, “I’m really busy sry,” before rejoining his boyfriend. As the two laid in bed, Winn could still feel the sadness radiating off Mon-El, and pulled him closer to comfort him. Mon turned around and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek, before laying down on his back and wrapping Winn’s arm around his waist.

“So you really think I can do it?” Mon asked. “You know, make up for my past?”

“Yeah, of course,” Winn told him.

“But I’ll be less interesting to you in the process,” Mon commented glumly. “I mean, you said it yourself: part of why you like me is because of how selfish I am. Now I’m helping people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still gonna do it, but it’s just sad to know how you feel about me will change.”

“Well the world isn’t so black and white,” Winn said, “I mean, you don’t have to be a complete hero like Superman, and you don’t have to be a complete villain, like the Joker.”

“Who?” Mon asked.

“Harley’s ex,” Winn explained, “But look, the point is you can find a balance between things. I mean, lean more towards hero for sure, but you can still be selfish and irresponsible sometimes. Just be yourself, okay? Be however selfish or however heroic you feel like being.”

Mon nodded, before telling Winn, “Thank-you.”

“No problem,” Winn responded.

Mon was silent for a bit, before asking,“Do you think I deserve this? A relationship with you, I mean.”

“Of course,” Winn reassured, “And I don’t mean like a maybe, I’m talkin’ a hard yes.”

“Even after all the horrible things I’ve done?” Mon asked. “Even with all the people I’ve hurt?”

“You don’t do yourself any service thinking like that,” Winn told him, getting a bit frustrated with how the Daxamite always circled back to why he should hate himself. “Basically, you have two options: 1) you can hate yourself for everything you’ve done and push people away or 2) accept your past, love yourself, and have friends who care about you. Not to mention a boyfriend.”

“Can’t forget about that,,” Mon commented, a hungry look beginning to thaw through the misery in his eyes. “You don’t mind if I stay the night, do you?”

“No, not at all,” Winn explained, “My apartment’s yours anytime you want it. Although, we should probably stop calling it our palace, now that we know about Daxam and everything.”

“Yeah,” Mon said, before a pensive look grew in his eyes, “Although, the name might still be okay. I mean, Earth is my new and improved home, so it would make sense if I had a slave-less, evil parent-free new place to stay to go with it.”

“Yeah,” Winn said, “Makes sense.”

For a while, Winn did nothing but lay in bed with Mon-El, the tear-soaked fabric of his shirt and the emotions from the evening making it a bit hard for him to fall asleep.

“You know how the other day you had your panic attack?” Mon asked, startling Winn; he thought his boyfriend would have fallen asleep by then.

“Yeah, and how you helped me get through it,” Winn remembered.

“Yeah,” Mon said, “And you know how now you’re comforting me about my parents and everything? Do you think this is how it’s always gonna be? The two of us taking care of each other?”

Winn looked at his boyfriend.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Winn said, “But a wise Daxamite once taught me that no one knows where the future will take us, so there’s no use assuming the worst.”

“Yeah,” Mon remembered.

“Besides,” Winn started, “We’ve got a lotta time to find out, don’t we?”

Mon looked at him and gave him the first hint of a true smile he’d seen all evening.

“Yeah. Lots of time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Never Planned on You /Don't Come a-Knocking (Newsies): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6cQkZLtUJQ
> 
> More chapters are coming. Also no hate comments please! My anxiety, OCD and depression give me enough as it is.


End file.
